趣谈 | 白宫年度“相声大会” 奥巴马说了哪些段子（有视频哦）
【编者按】随着8年总统任期逐渐走向尾声，“非著名相声表演艺术家”美国总统奥巴马在白宫记（xiang）者（sheng）晚（da）宴（hui）上的发表最后一次演（tu）讲（cao）。现场，化身段子手的奥巴马火力十足，不但反复黑了共和党的诸位，连希拉里等盟友也没有放过。他都说了啥？
美国总统奥巴马在他最后一次的白宫记者协会晚宴上，段子手上身，不但挑衅各大媒体，对希拉里、特朗普等正激烈竞争总统宝座的候选人通通黑了个遍。最后的最后，他当然不忘自黑，以致敬退役篮球选手科比的方式扔掉麦克风，说出“Obama Out”后便大步流星的走下舞台，整个过程一气呵成，十分精彩。来看看这位段子手现场有哪些包袱吧。
http://v.qq.com/iframe/player.html?vid=w0197fcu4dx&auto=0
"If this material works well, I'm gonna use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Earn me some serious Tubmans."
如果我今天的演讲很出彩，我计划明年到高盛再讲一遍，赚点零花儿。
"I do apologize, I know I was a little late tonight. I was running on CPT -- which stands for jokes that white people should not make."
抱歉我今晚迟到了一会儿，我是按照CPT时间来的。这是白人不能讲的笑话。
（Colored People Time，即有色人种时间，指“黑人总迟到”的刻板思维）
"Next year at this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot. And it's anyone's guess who she will be."
明年这个时候，会有另一个人站在这个地方。有谁知道她会是谁么。
（用she暗指希拉里·克林顿可能当选）
"We've got the bright new face of the Democratic Party here tonight, Mr. Bernie Sanders! Bernie, you look like a million bucks. Or to put it in terms you'll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of $27 each."
民主党的全新面孔今晚也来到了现场——伯尼·桑德斯先生！伯尼，你气色真不错（英文直译：看起来像百万美元）。或者用你更易于理解的话说，你看起来像3.7万份27美元的捐款。
（伯尼·桑德斯的竞选基金主要来自普通捐款人，人均捐款数是27美元）
"I am a little hurt that you're distancing yourself from me, Bernie. That's not something you do to your comrade."
伯尼，你一直在跟我保持距离，这让我有点伤心啊。你不该这样对待你的革命战友。
（虽然同为民主党，但伯尼·桑德斯是一个社会主义者）
"In my final year, my approval ratings keep going up. The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major."
任内最后一年，我的支持率一直在上升。我上次这么飘飘然，还是在我大学选专业的时候。
（曾有报道称奥巴马上学时吸毒成瘾）
"There's one area where Donald's experience could be invaluable, and that's closing Guantanamo. Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground."
有一个领域，唐纳德的经验会非常有用，那就是关闭关塔那摩监狱——因为在把水景地产搞砸这方面，特朗普还是挺在行的。
"I am a little hurt he's not here tonight. We had so much fun the last time. And it is surprising -- you have a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras. And he says no. Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he be possibly doing instead? Eating a Trump Steak? Tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? What's he doing?"
唐纳德今晚没来我有点小伤心，上次我们玩得那么开心。奇怪啊，今晚这么多记者、名人在场，这么多摄像机，他竟然不来。唐纳德是嫌弃我们的晚宴太土吗？那他现在在干嘛？在吃特朗普牛排？在推特上黑默克尔？还是干嘛呢？
"They say Donald lacks the foreign policy experience to be president, but in fairness, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around the world -- Miss Sweden, Miss Argentina, Miss Azerbaijan."
大家都说唐纳德缺乏当总统所需的外交经验，不过公平来讲，这些年他一直在跟各国领袖们（这里指“领先者、第一名们”）接触——什么瑞典小姐啊，阿根廷小姐啊，阿塞拜疆小姐啊。
"I see Mike Bloomberg. Mike, a combative, controversial New York billionaire is leading the GOP primary and it's not you. That has to sting a little bit. Although it's not an entirely fair comparison between you and the Donald. After all, Mike was a big city mayor, he knows policy in-depth. And he's actually worth the amount of money that he says he is."
我看到迈克·布隆伯格也在现场。迈克，一个斗志昂扬、充满争议的纽约亿万富豪（这里指特朗普）正在领跑共和党初选，而这人竟然不是你。你肯定会感觉不太舒服吧。当然，拿你跟特朗普相提并论不太妥当。毕竟迈克当过大城市的市长，对政策有深入了解，而且他的身家没有注过水。
（暗讽特朗普不懂政策，吹嘘自己的身家达上百亿）
来源：英语点津 腾讯视频
您对翻译行业的见地，欢迎与我们分享交流。来稿请致：media@yeeworld.com