Word on the street: Bizarre utterances from around Beijing

The most ridiculous things we've overheard on the streets of Beijing this month

'My daily average of dick pics has significantly increased since working here'

'Oh for f**k's sake. Why are brass players more readily available than cheese in this city?'

'I feel like this building is killing my eggs'

via GIPHY

'Don’t cover your father in peanuts'

'Tinder is like waimai for single people'

'I stayed until the end dancing woodenly and floating between groups I didn't belong in'

'I was just somewhere where I had to touch cash. It was truly barbaric'

via GIPHY

'I wish the bus would come as fast as I do'

'What did I learn? I learned how to choke a guy into unconsciousness!'

'No one here's going to steal our stuff – they're all vegan'

'If it would make you come to my birthday party, I will arrange for cats to entertain you in an erotic manner'

via GIPHY

'Why talk to a human when you can send them a sticker?'

'It's crazy how people lived millennia without dog memes'

'People skating to "YMCA" is my literal idea of hell'

Heard something unforgettable? Let us know – leave a comment below or tweet us (@beijingtimeout). 

For our best picks on things to do on the streets of Beijing, hit 'Read more' below. 

You might have missed

More from Time Out Beijing

Stay up to date in Beijing