爸妈：别再让我一直听你们的话
小时候，爸妈总说，“你听话一点”，他们会为我们安排好一切事情，帮我们做出“正确”的选择。
长大后，我们想要自己选择。但有时候，爸妈会觉得这样不对，不能这样选。
“上学的时候，绝对不能谈恋爱，会影响你的学习！”
“毕业了，赶紧找对象！”
“你怎么还没对象。去相亲吧。”
“不要留在大城市，回家吧，家里还能帮你安排工作。”
这种情况下，你会怎么做？
来看看一个美国女孩儿做出的选择。
At her grade school graduation in June, as we walked up the steps together, my daughter Olivia stopped and asked me a question: “Be honest, Mommy; is being a grown-up fun?”
六月，在女儿的小学毕业典礼上，我们一同跨上台阶时，我女儿奥利维亚停下来问了一个问题：“实话告诉我，妈妈，做成年人有趣吗？”
All her hope, excitement, and worry were contained in that single question. She gripped my hand tightly, and I squeezed it back.
这个问题饱含了她的希望、期待和忧虑。她紧握我的手，我也紧紧回握她的。
At dinner, the talk turned to high school and college. Olivia and Sophia couldn’t imagine not living with us. “Oh, that will change,” I said. “You’ll want to leave, but it won’t be because you love us any less.”
晚餐时，话题转向了高中和大学。奥利维亚和索菲亚无法想象离开我们生活的日子。“你们现在的想法会发生变化”，我说，“你会想要离开的，不过并非是因为你不爱我们了。”
Tell them about Fatima, said Steve.
斯蒂夫说，跟她们讲讲法蒂玛的故事吧。
Fatima was the bright, strong-willed young woman I’d gotten to know a few weeks earlier at a writing conference. Her story had made me shiver and push away thoughts of the skirmishes that awaited me and my girls.
法蒂玛是我几周前在写作研讨会上认识的一位开朗而又坚强的年轻女孩。她的故事深深触动了我，也打消了我心中对于我和女儿们即将面临的小战争的担忧。
She’d lived in Florida, the middle child of five brothers and sisters in a family shaped by religion. In Fatima’s orthodox Muslim world, they prayed five times a day. And women stayed at home until they married.
她出生在佛罗里达一个典型的宗教家庭，有五个兄弟姐妹，排行老三。在法蒂玛正统的穆斯林世界里，他们一天要祈祷五次，女孩子待在家直到嫁人。
“When I see the American flag, I really understand what freedom is.”
“每当我看到美国国旗时，我明白自由意味着什么。”
But Fatima could not be contained. “Even as a child, I’d always questioned why men and women had to be separated, why women had to wear a head scarf,” she’d told me.
但是人们并没有包容法蒂玛。她对我说，“就算还是个孩子的时候，我也经常疑惑为何男人和女人要分开，为什么女人必须戴头巾。”
At 15, she was caught talking to a boy. Her mother told her it was time to wear the hijab, a head covering worn in public by some Muslim women. Fatima obliged when she was with her family, but she’d take off the hijab at school.
15岁时，她被人撞见同一个男孩说话。她的母亲要求她戴希贾布，一种穆斯林女人在公共场合戴的头巾。她只在和家人一起的时候遵守这个要求，在学校里会将头巾摘下来。
Living at home, she kept up this secret double existence through college, law school, and her first job. She was 25 when she finally came to an inflection point: “I could live the life they decided for me, or I could live the life that I wanted to live.”
从她上大学，去法学院，直到第一份工作，她一直隐瞒着她的“双重身份”。25岁那一年，她突然意识到：“我要么按照他人的意愿活着，要么活出真我。”
She told her parents she was taking off the hijab permanently. Bitter arguments ensued.
她告诉父母以后再也不戴头巾了。结果“世界大战”爆发了。
She decided it was time.
她觉得是时候离开了。
Every night, she’d fill a backpack. Night one, she stuffed it with socks, then delivered the bag to a girlfriend who’d agreed to store her things.
每晚，她都会塞满一只双肩包。第一晚，包里装满了袜子。她把包邮寄给了一个愿意帮她保管东西的朋友那里。
The next night, she filled it with underwear. She researched, found, and applied for an apartment closer to her job. “The lease was like a scroll laid out before me,” said Fatima. “My entire life was about to change.
第二晚，她在包里装满了内衣。通过搜索查询，她申请到了工作附近的公寓。“租房生活就像一幅画卷在我面前展开，”法蒂玛说，“我的人生就要改变了。”
“That night, I focused on my father’s face for what might be the last time. I said it simply: ‘Mom, Dad, I signed a lease, and I’m moving.’” Silence. Then her father said he didn’t want to see her again.
“那晚，我注视着父亲的面庞，也许是最后一次见面了。我轻轻的说：‘妈妈，爸爸，我在外面租好了房子，我要搬出去了。’”迎接她的是沉默，无尽的沉默。然后，她爸爸说再也不想见到她。
She’d been quiet telling this part. “The first step toward freedom is the hardest,” she said.
她讲述这部分的时候面色平静。“迈向自由的第一步是最艰难的”。
Today Fatima is 28 and a reporter for the Cincinnati Enquirer. Independence, and the courage it takes to win it, suits her. “I love taking care of myself,” she said. “When I see the American flag, I really understand what freedom is.”
如今法蒂玛28岁，是《辛辛那提问询报》的记者。独立，以及赢得独立所需要的勇气，都让她蜕变成更有魅力的女性。 “我喜欢照顾自己。”她说，“每当我看到美国国旗时，我明白自由意味着是什么。”
She is still close with all her siblings and her mother, who serves as a bridge between father and daughter. There have been opaque overtures in recent months. Cards have been sent.
她仍然和她的兄弟姐妹以及母亲保持着密切联系，他们是她和父亲间沟通的桥梁。最近几月已经出现了模糊的转机，他们也会互相递送节日卡片了。
“My father and I are both extremely stubborn. But as I look at having a family of my own, I will want him to be part of my life.”
“我和父亲都倔强如牛。但是我也在考虑组建自己的家庭了，我还是希望父亲能参与到我的生命中来。”
Oh good, I’d said. You are finding your way back to each other.
那挺好的，我说，你们正在摸索着回到对方身边。
“I think so,” she’d said. “We’ll know when we’re ready.”
“大概是的，”她说，“我们会等到准备好的那一天。”
老一辈的观念，有时候和你会发生很大的冲突。他们希望把自以为最好的留给你，但忘记考虑了是否是你所需要的，会成为你实现梦想的阻力。
你遇到过哪些：
爸妈想让你这样做，你却觉得不对的事。
本周热文
（点击下面文字，即可查看）
翻译：多啦
朗读：猕猴桃
编辑：乔乔、芒果