还记得自己小时候有多蠢萌吗？这视频勾起了我全部的回忆
心理学家皮亚杰曾经通过一系列实验来研究小盆友的大脑，最终总结出了一个发展理论理论。
下面的这个小视频，就是用来介绍这几个阶段“各具特色的脑残方式”的，大家一起来回忆一下自己的黑历史吧：
https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=m03351eqli5&width=500&height=375&auto=0
↓ 上下滑动，查看完整字幕 ↓
Piaget's Stages of Development
皮亚杰的发展阶段理论
Stage 1: The Sensori-motor Stage
birth to about 2 years
第一阶段：感觉运动阶段
从出生到大约2岁
New babies aren't quite sure about what happens to objects when they leave their sight.
新生儿们并不是很清楚当东西离开他们视线后发生了什么。
Skye's mom keeps disappearing and reappearing.
斯凯的妈妈一直不停消失又重新出现。
No wonder peekaboo is so much fun.
难怪躲猫猫这么好玩。
During their first year, however, infants will learn an important concept: objects are permanent.
不过，在他们生命的第一年里，小宝宝们将会学会一个重要的概念：物体的恒定性。
Everything has a life of its own even if it's out of sight.
一切东西，即使不在你的视线内，也是存在的。
At maya's age, babies know to look for objects.
在玛雅这个年龄，宝宝们知道要去寻找物体。
But they might not have everything else straight.
但他们可能还没有把一切都搞清楚。
Ten-month-old Simon is about to make a classic mistake.
10个月大的西蒙正要犯下一个经典的错误。
Although he watched us plant the toy plain under the white cloth, he'll look for it where he last found it, not where he watched us hide it.
虽然他看着我们把玩具飞机放到了白布下面，但还是会去他上次发现它的地方找，而不是去他看着我们把飞机藏起来的地方。
Stage 2: The Operational Stage
about 2-7 years
第二阶段：运思阶段
大约2-7岁
1
Can you look at these glasses? Do you think they have the same amount of juice?
你能看看这两个玻璃杯吗？你觉得它们装着同样多的果汁吗？
You think they have the same? OK.
你觉得它们一样多？好。
Now we're gonna pour this juice into this glass.
现在我们要把这杯果汁倒进这个杯子里。
Now do you think this glass has more juice? This glass has more juice? Or do you think they have the same amount?
现在你觉得是这个杯子的果汁多呢？还是这个杯子的果汁多呢？还是两杯的量一样呢？
That one has more.
那一杯多。
This one has more? Why do you think this one has more?
这一杯多？你为什么觉得这一杯多？
'Cause that is taller.
因为它高一些。
2
OK, you're ready?
好，你准备好了吗？
OK, does this row have more quarters? Does this row have more quarters? Or do they have the same?
好，是这一组的钱币多呢？还是这一组的钱币多呢？还是两组一样？
(counting...)
数数中
They look the same.
它们看起来一样。
They're the same?
它们一样？
Five, five.
5个，和5个。
OK.
好
OK. Does this row have more quarters? Does this row have more? Or do they have the same?
好，现在是这一组的钱币多呢？还是这一组的钱币多呢？还是两组一样？
This row have more.
这组的多一些。
That one have more quarters?
那一组的钱币更多？
Yeah.
对。
Why does this row have more quarters?
为什么那一组的钱币更多？
Because it's more like more, like far away.
因为它看起来更，就是更，就是更远一点。
It's more far away?
因为它离得更远？
It's like more far away than like that. It's like bigger. Bigger.
它比这一组看起来更远。就是，更大。更大。
3
OK, we're gonna play a game with the Grandpa, we're gonna share them. But you already knew, OK?
好，我们现在要用爷爷饼干玩个游戏，我们要来分享它们。不过你已经知道了，对不对？
Do you think that we shared those fairly?
你觉得我们分得公平吗？
No.
不公平。
No? Why not?
不公平？为什么不公平？
Because you have those and I have this.
因为你有那些，而我只有这个。
What about, what if we try this?
那要不，要不我们试试这样。
OK, can I put this down there?
好，我能把这放在这吗？
Now, is it fair?
现在，公平了吗？
Yeah.
嗯。
Why is it fair now?
为什么现在公平了？
Because we both have 2.
因为我们每人都有2个。
4
Can you tell me what you see when you look at that from where you sit?
你能告诉我你坐在那边开这里的时候能看到什么吗？
What are some of the things that you see?
你能看到些什么东西？
A cat, a tree and a bone.
一只猫、一棵树和一根骨头。
Ok, now we're gonna do the same thing. Can you tell me what you see when you look at it from that stool?
好，现在我们来干同样的事。你能告诉我你坐在那个凳子上看这里的时候能看到什么吗？
An owl, and it.
一只猫头鹰，还有这个。
What's that?
那个是什么？
A goat.
一只山羊。
A goat?
山羊？
Is there anything else you see?
你还看到了其他的东西吗？
Yeah, right there.
对，那里。
Right there, what is that?
那里？那是什么？
A tree. And that's another litte tree.
一棵树。然后这里也有一颗小树。
Another little tree.
嗯，另一个小树。
OK, can you tell me what I see when I look at it from where I'm sitting right now?
好，那你能告诉我我坐在这看它的时候能看到什么吗？
An owl, a goat, a little tree, and that and that and that.
一只猫头鹰、一只山羊、一颗小树，还有那个和那个和那个。
Stage 3: The Concrete Operational Stage
about 7-11 years
第三阶段：具体运思阶段
大概7-11岁
1
So, first we're gonna look at these 2 cups here. Do you think there's the same amount of juice in this glass and in that glass?
好，首先我们要看看这里的2个杯子。你觉得这个杯子里面的果汁量和那个杯子里的一样吗？
They're even.
是一样的。
They're even? OK.
是一样的？好。
So, we're gonna pour the juice from this glass into this glass.
那么，我们要把这杯果汁从这个玻璃杯里倒进这个玻璃杯里。
OK, so now we'er gonna look at it. This glass and that.
好，现在我们要来看看。这一杯和那一杯。
Do you think there's more juice in this glass, more juice in this glass, or do you think they have the same amount?
你觉得是这杯果汁多呢？还是这杯果汁多呢？还是两边一样多呢？
Same amount.
一样多。
OK, why do you think they have the same amount?
好，为什么你认为是一样多。
Just because it's skinny doesn't mean it's not the same amount.
单单因为它瘦一点并不意味着它就不一样多。
It has the same amount of juice in it. But this one is just wider and this one is skinnier. But they have the same amount of juice.
它里面的果汁是一样的量。只是这个杯子更宽，而这个杯子更苗条。但它们的量是一样的。
2
It says that if you hit a glass with a hammer the glass will break.
这上面说：如果你用一个锤子打一个玻璃杯，玻璃杯就会破。
I know that.
我知道。
And this one says Don hit a glass with a hammer.
而这上面说唐用一把锤子打了一个玻璃杯。
I know that, too.
这个我也知道。
So what happened to the glass?
所以，那个玻璃杯怎么样了？
It broke.
它破了。
It broke. Why did it break?
它破了。它为什么破了？
Because the hammer's hard.
因为锤子是硬的。
If you hit a glass with a feather, the glass will break.
如果你用一根羽毛打一个玻璃杯，玻璃杯会破。
No！
不会！
And this is the second rule. Don hit a glass with a feather. What happened to the glass?
然后这里写了第二条规则。唐用一根羽毛打了一个玻璃杯。玻璃杯怎么样了？
Nothing！
什么也没发生！
Nothing happened? Why didn't anything happen?
什么也没发生？为什么什么也没发生？
Because this feather is soft.
因为羽毛是软的。
Stage 4: The Formal Operational Stage
about 11 years onwards
第四阶段：形式运算阶段
从大约11岁往后
If you hit a glass with a feather, the glass will break.
如果你用一根羽毛打一个玻璃杯，玻璃杯会破。
OK.
好啊。
And the second one: Don hit a glass with a feather. What happened to the glass?
然后是第二条：唐用一根羽毛打了一个玻璃杯。玻璃杯怎么样了？
It broke.
它破了。
And why did it break?
那它为什么破了呢？
Because it's what it says: you hit it with a feather, it breaks.
因为上面是这么写的：如果你用羽毛打它，它会破。
Becuase he hit that with a feather, broke.
因为他用羽毛打了它，就破了。
Hooray! Abstract thinking!
好诶！！！！抽象思维！！！！
俗话说得好：“要听爸爸妈妈的话。”
至于里面的原因嘛，行孝什么的倒是其次，最主要的是：他们掌握了你最多的把柄，说不定还有证据，一旦把你这堆黑历史全都抖出去，你这辈子算是完了。
如今，国外的不少八卦网站就特别流行暴自家孩子的短：
（29位粑粑麻麻分享自家孩子干过的最奇葩事情）
weird [wiəd] adj. 奇葩的
仔细看了一下，里面还是蛮精彩的。
比如：
“On a camping trip my son pretended a tree branch was his girlfriend. As if that wasn’t strange enough, he later ran up to me while I was talking to a stranger and announced, ‘I have to go bury my girlfriend now.’”
一次去露营的时候，我儿子假装一根树枝是他女朋友。然后，好像是觉得这还不够奇葩，在我正在和一个陌生人交谈的时候他突然跑来跟我讲：“我现在要去把我女朋友埋了。”
“My three-year-old son began crying inconsolably upon learning that worms don’t have brains like humans, and thus couldn’t ‘really be his friends.’”
我3岁的儿子在得知“虫虫没有人类这样的大脑，所以不能做朋友”之后，哭得天崩地裂。
“My son opened my underwear drawer and poured chocolate syrup all over everything inside. I never figured out his thought process behind that — he even shut the drawer and put the syrup back in the fridge.”
我儿子打开了我装内衣的抽屉，然后在所有东西上面浇满了巧克力糖浆。我一直没有搞清楚这个事件的脑回路是怎样的：他不光关好了抽屉，还回去把糖浆放回了冰箱里。
英大觉得，自己能清清白白活这么大真的不容易，如果哪天得了个什么大奖，上台领奖的时候一定得说：“我要谢谢我的粑拔~ 还有我的嘛麻~ 感谢他们没有将我的黑料公之于众。”
OK，现在我们知道了，从技术上讲，小时候有这么多黑料真的不能怪我们自己。
小孩子在长大之前，大脑是不完善的，很多功能并不是一出生就有，你得等它们长出来。
所以说，在这个“阶段性脑残”的过程中，发生什么都不奇怪。
话说大家都发展到哪个阶段啦？
欢迎在留言区分享自己的黑历史哦~
然后，下次亲戚家的熊孩子来你家做客，你就不用觉得烦了，赶快偷偷开手机把他们录下来。
编辑：梅园西墙的王半仙