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Tips for Being an Upstanding Expat

ShanghaiWOWeng 2018-11-28


If you’re an expat, it’s important to keep in mind that you should be on your best behavior. You’re not representing just yourself, you’re also representing your country, perhaps even the entirety of western culture to some. Here are some rock solid, totally serious tips to keep you on track.


Yell bloodcurdlingly loud for the waiter




It’s called ‘assimilation’. Locals yell for the waiter at the absolute top of their lungs, regardless of the distance between them, you should too. How else will you ever learn fluent Chinese than by screaming “FUWUUYUAANNNN” 


Drive your scooter like a complete dickhead




How else to represent your free spirit and bold bravado than by driving your scooter with total disregard for your surroundings. 


Pretend you’re visiting Westworld




It’s all just a giant theme park built for your unbridled entertainment, start acting like it! If something terrible happens you can just leave the park and go home right?


Complain about everything




Is something different than you’d prefer it? There’s a simple solution: complain! Complain loudly and often, compare everything here to where you grew up and 


Over estimate your value as an employee

 



Are you making a comfortable salary that allows you to easily cover your rent, expenses, fancy meals, trips home, and vacations? Ask for more! You’re worth it, you’re western, demand double and don’t stop until someone recognizes the keen insights you bring to the company instagram account. 


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