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We Tried the Bistro Burger Challenge

ShanghaiWOWeng 2018-11-28


With our boss out of town, we decided to ditch work early and head over to Bistro Burger on Changle Lu, to try their Monday burger challange.


The gist: they give you an enormous, 4 paddie burger, fries and a milkshake to finish in under 15 minutes. 

 


Their burger challenge has been around for several years, but they updated some of the conditions about 5 months ago when they changed menus, most notably by adding an extra beef paddy to the already massive burger (there used to be only three, and eaters had just 12 minutes to finish). 

 


Here are the facts:

  • You can only try this challenge on Mondays

  • It costs RMB 200. If you finish in 15 minutes you don’t have to pay. 

  • If you finish in less than 8 minutes it’s free AND so is the bill for everyone at your table. 

  • Only one man has been able to do it in under 8 minutes. 

  • Winners will get a t shirt and a photo on the ‘wall of fame’. 

  • There are about 200 people on the wall of fame, but most of them were winners of the old challenge.

  • Since they’ve updated the challenge terms, only about 20 people have tried, just 10 of which were successful. 

  • Only one girl appears to have finished the challenge, although there are several photos which show couples (it’s hard to know who did the challenge in those photos).


Knowing all this, I sat down with our food editor Morgan to give it a whirl.

 


Challengers, begin!


I took the hands-on attack route.




Morgan went with a more sophisticated fork and knife technique, very French of her. 

 


10 mins remaining


5 minutes seem to take forever, especially when you make so little progress. Already growing weary of the beef I decided to get the fries out of the way.



8 minutes remaining


With the fries gone, I turned next to the vanilla milk shake, and even though my stomach was already full, it was totally delicious.



Morgan is still slowly enjoying the burger, with the class and finesse of a fine diner.



5 minutes remaining


With two paddies and some soggy bread left I am totally full.  



Morgan began to realize around this time that the fries and milkshake aren't going anywhere. 



1 minute remaining


Can I shove it all in my mouth? Can I finish this? Perhaps, if I am willing to end up projectile vomitting in the emergency room... alas I am not, and neither is Morgan.




Challenge over


All the pre-challange swag is as dead as the cow we just ate. The cold reality is that we've failed, but it sure was a delcious failure... and an expensive one. Our bill was RMB 400. 

 


This challenge is NO JOKE, and we’re not surprised there’s only about a 50% success rate. Consider also that this isn’t 50% of random people, but of those who deliberately try this, i.e. big eaters who think they have what it takes. 

 

Many aspects make it difficult but the beef is easily the most distressing. It goes from being delicious, to burdensome, to nightmarishly rich and heavy. One of the paddies has a layer of blue cheese that stayed with us both for hours afterwards, and will no doubt infest our nightmares for years to come. 


According to Morgan “If you want to start a diet, it’s a very good idea. It has so much shit on it that afterwards you’ll want to eat nothing for one month”. That about sums it up.

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