The 22 People You See at Every Music Festival

Each time there is a music festival these folks appear seemingly from nowhere, adding sparkle to your weekend before receding back into the camouflage of everyday life.  Even if you have a love/hate relationship with some of them, you must admit they are the bread and butter of any good music festival.

HIGH AF DUDE

These people are so stoned  you just want to sit back and live through their blood-shot eyes

Fabulous grade: 10/10 we live for these shows

THE EXHIBITIONIST

Usually not a good experience for any of us.

Fabulous grade: 1/10 please … don’t

THE FREELANCE PHARMACIST

For him a music festival is like his 13th month

Fabulous grade: 1/10 not good vibes, man

THE LOUD FRAT BRO

The alpha male of the band is gross, drunk and loud.  He considers himself fabulous and feels naked without his “tribe’ following him everywhere. The needy nudey dudes.

Fabulous grade: 1/10 - the only thing he is going to successfully hit on are your nerves

THE WEIRDO

Once you saw him, you will never forget him. Something magic happens inside their head. Respect

Fabulous grade: 10/10 keep going men

THE FOREVER YOUNG DAD

These folks show to world that being married with kids does not mean you can’t party anymore. You can be responsible with some well timed periods of craziness. Or they just didn’t want to pay a babysitter.

Fabulous grade: 10/10 we wish we will do the same with our kids

THE OLDER COUPLE

Couples can be often be boring, but these! The synergy these kindred spirits share creates a single unit of joy and craziness that no festival can do without.. Even after 20 years of marriage.  

Fabulous grade: 10/10 one love…

THE FLOWER POWER GIRL

She wears a flower crown, colorful clothes, temporary golden tattoos, pink highlights in her hair to make her stand out while she dances around the forest, like a drunk butterfly finding its mate

Fabulous grade: 5/10 she can be entertaining if you like that kind of chick …

THE SOLO GUITAR PLAYER

The concept of the music festival may be non stop electro but he doesn’t care and isolates himself in a corner playing his guitar, usually with a bunch of girls.

Fabulous grade: 8/10 he brings some peaceful vibes to the whole affair

THE CATWALK/ FASHION ENTHUSIAST

Every three hours she will mesmerize you with a new outfit you’ve never before seen in civilized society. How many of these did she bring?

Fabulous grade: 9/10 - she makes you realize you are wearing the same underwear for three days and you still enjoy her.  

THE MUD ENTHUSIAST

Apparently it’s good for your skin

Fabulous grade: 10/10 but no cuddle after… no no no

“Just here for the booze” PEOPLE

They start to drink at 9 Am, by 2 Pm they’re wasted, around about 5 Pm they puke in front of everybody and then go to sleep before the party’s anywhere near full swing. And tomorrow they will do it again…why?

Fabulous grade: 0/10 come on… respect yourself

THE YOUNG LOVE

They’ve just met and are deeply into each other so they’re about to spend the rest of the festival licking each others face. Like puppies.

Fabulous grade: 6/10 cute but boring

WECHAT/INSTAGRAM/WEIBO QUEEN

*China exclusivity*

For them, being in a music festival is just another excuse to spend all their time on social networking apps to grab new followers with colorful and zany pictures and posts.  9h10: “arrived at the festival” 9h12” going to find my tent” 9h30 #festival #youngandwild #freeedom. You really want to try freedom? Put your phone away. Go on, just give it a try.

Fabulous grade: 1/10 do you prefer being online or actually being alive?

THE PILL DANSER

At 6 Am he is still up, dancing like just drilled a screwdriver into a wall socket. How did he achieve such levels of endurance and joy? Probably not the orange juice…

Fabulous grade: 7/10 it is pretty entertaining to watch while you are having your breakfast  

THE TEENAGER

They eighteen, nineteen year old tyros are usually wasted before the music festival starts, listening to music you never heard about and making you feel like a geriatric. Even moreso when you realize these cuties you were trying to hit on are younger than your little sister.  

Fabulous grade: 5/10 because they kill your vibe by making you feel responsible of them

THE ONEZIP DUDE

*China exclusivity*

It cost only RMB50 on taobao, it’s cute, comfortable and warm you when festival nights are getting super cold.  Everybody needs an onezip buddy during a music festival, it is too agreeable to cuddle…

Fabulous grade: 10/10 simply

THE BAD CAMPER

These cool kids just enjoy the alternative camping style.  

Fabulous grade: 8/10 until they asked you if they can join your tent

THE DRINK DISPENSER

Each time you see him he is going to pour tequilla in your throat without a word. You can acutally fall in love with these guys (even if you are also a dude).  

Fabulous grade: 10/10 Maintain a close proximity at all times please … You are always useful

THE TOURIST

They’ve been in this festival for three days but they still look clean and fresh. And we have no f*ck’n idea about how they achieved it. They took 100 pictures of flowers, tress, and sleep in a perfectly clean tent. Wait. Have we even been to the same event?

Fabulous grade: 1/10 meh

THE PARTY TOO HARD

He lost his phone, his money, his name and even his dignity, but stays chill and enjoy the moment.

Fabulous grade: 10/10 He is a music festival classic 

Related Articles