10 Type of People That Work in a Chinese Office
You know them well, the many types of Chinese office workers. They come in all shapes and sizes, yet they almost certainly fall into one of these categories...
The Smelly Food Eater
When you hear the snap of her lunch box opening, you know it’s not going to be salad... Nope, not happening. The second the smell of stinky tofu/durian/day old fish hits you, you know it’s lunchtime, and that shit is going to linger.
The Sleeping Beauty
Sometimes you wonder if they are ever awake. Did they sleep walk to the office, then drift back into a deep sleep at their desk? How do they ever hit any deadlines? Or get any work done when they spend their whole time dreaming of K-Pop star dating scenarios.
The Selfie Machine
She must have a selfie alarm in her mind. New earrings, selfie time! Having lunch, selfie time! Oh there’s the sun, selfie time! If you ever have the chance to add her on WeChat, there’s one thing you’ll see: selfies. Well, 90% selfies and 10% cat pics.
The Duck Tape Guy
“Hey, the WIFI is not working, can you help?” “My Mac is doing weird things, can you help?” “my desk chair is broken can you help?” This guy works in the IT department and is kind of nerdy. When you need help, he’s the guy. He specializes in light coding and general DIY. He is also known as ‘Mr. Fix it’
The Hipster
He dresses like he’s ready for an impromptu photoshoot every day. He uses glasses as an accessory even though he has perfect eyesight. He has a triangle tattooed on his ankle and if you ever ask him about it, it will take him 45 minutes to explain the concept. Warning: DO NOT ENGAGE.
The Kid
He’s the naive intern in your department. The last time he drank alcohol was Chinese New year two years ago, with his Mum. He is innocent, he dreams of puppies skipping through meadows and a world without air pollution, he is incorruptible and kind. Also boring as sin.
The Lost One
Rumour has it that someone saw this person in the office today. It’s already 3pm, but there’s still no sight of them at their desk. They’re either in the meetings all day (no one is that busy), or they're going to die of smoke-break induced lung cancer.
The Kuaidi Queen
She spends half of her salary on Taobao, basically orders EVERYTHING online: from shoes to toilet paper. She’s expecting Kuaidis all the time. In fact, the only reason she comes to the office every day is for the Kuaidis.
The Part-time Makeup Blogger
They are for sure the prettiest girls in the office since they know all about trendy beauty items. They use different lip color every day, and never miss the chance to splurge in the duty-free store. However, we all had a great laugh when Japanese face razors became a thing and one of them accidentally shaved an eyebrow off.
The Snack Hoarder
Her office drawer is a UN General Assembly of snacks. She got your back whenever you feel hungry. We love her, we love anyone who brings us food. THANK SWEET BABY JESUS FOR THE SNACK QUEEN.
Disclaimer: the author of this article is Chinese
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