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My Dog Ate My Mindfulness Diary

2018-01-18 Claire L. Squire ShanghaiWOWeng

Have you ever wondered if you should be more mindful? Or even what mindfulness is? Because I had absolutely no clue.  I am about a mindful as a teaspoon. I’m excitable, easily distracted, a day dreamer and always busy. So when my boss asked me to go and take part in a mindfulness training course and write up my experience, I was less than enthused. Here is my mindfulness diary.

 


Saturday


9:30 – I have woken up late, my house is so cold I practically have icicles in my hair. I’m not feeling mindful. I’m feeling outraged at being awake so early on a Saturday. 


10:00 – I am meant to be inside the WeWork building on Weihai Lu to take part in this mindfulness thingy. Only problem is the door is locked. So I’m outside the building shivering. 


10:01 – I still have my pajama top on. I hope no one notices.


10:05 – Okay seriously the building is really locked. I’m banging on the glass. I know! I will call Brandon.*


*Brandon Mehrgut runs Shanghai Mindfulness and is going to be my mindful teacher.


10:10 – Successfully in the building. Going to have a coffee.


10:11 – Coffee machine is off. Bollocks.



10:20 – Meet the rest of the group taking part in the mindfulness training. Six of us total plus Brandon. They seem like a friendly bunch. No one was too perky which was nice. I hate people who are perky in the morning.


10:30 – We are getting started.


Source: Shanghaimindfulness.com


10:45 – Oooh, Mindfulness is a type of meditation, I didn’t realize.


11:00 - Brandon is explaining all of the benefits of mindfulness meditation/training. It sounds amazing I am completely in. Benefits include: being more focused, being less stressed, feeling more relaxed and more. I want all of those things.


11:30 – So this is my understanding of mindfulness training so far. It’s great for you, it can help you be a super human. It’s like training your brain. You focus on one thing, let's say your breath. And every time you feel your mind being to wander you pull it back to the breath. Like doing repeated bicep curls for your brain.


12:00 – Hmmm, Brandon suggests doing your training in the mornings. Mornings are a disaster for me. I’m going to see if I can do it in the evenings instead.


12:01 – Brandon says I can but it won’t be as good for me. I don’t mind.


12:30 – We are about to do our first guided meditation. I’m feeling a bit nervous. I have never really been able to calm my mind. My brain feels like it’s got four squirrels in it, permanently chasing each other and digging for nuts.


12:31 – WE HAVE TO SIT STILL AND SILENTLY FOR 7 MINUTES. THAT’S A LIFE TIME.


12:32 – Here goes.


Minute 1

I can’t focus on my breath


Minute 2

OMG I think I’m doing it. No wait. I’m not thinking about my breath, I am thinking about thinking about my breath. GAH.


Minute 3

Imagine a bicep curl for your mind.


Minute 4

My tummy is rumbling.


Minute 5


Minute 6


Minute 7


12:40 – I did it. I think I meditated. 


12:41 - Brandon is saying yes! HUZZAH. I have calmed the ever swirling seas of my mind. I am going to buy a robe and be peaceful. I’m going to sit like a lotus flower, floating on a pond of calmness and be calm and de-stressed and focused forever. Meditation is my life. Maybe I should become a meditation teacher.


12:45 – Brandon has outlined how we can keep up the mindfulness and has put together a suggested program for us. Start off by doing 3 minutes a day for a week, at the same time and in the same place. Then go on to 5 minutes, then 7 and so on, building up to between 10 and 20 minutes for optimum results.


12:46 – I am worried about the time stuff. My schedule is all over the place because of work, I’m never ever in the same place at the same time. But I really want to keep this up. I feel kind of meditation drunk.


12:50 – We are having a Q&A with Brandon. I’m going to bring up my time concerns.


13:00 – Okay got it. I’m going to slot it into my routine. Home from work, walk the dog, make a cup of tea and do my mindfulness training. Then carry on with my evening or go to bed, time depending.



13:01 – Saying bye to everyone. I have only known them a grand total of 3 hours but I feel a bit sad saying bye. I feel like we are in lord of the rings but instead of thumping off into the horizon with some drunk dwarves, we're wandering out to our scooters... and instead of going on a quest with a ring, we’re on a quest to meditate. 


13:02 – I feel strange.


19:37 – Sitting down to meditate before I go out. Hmm.


Source: Shanghaimindfulness.com


Minute 1

WHY IS MY MIND FULL OF SQUIRRELS.


Minute 2

Calm, breathe, breathe, breathe.


Minute 3


19:40 – I feel very calm. And sort of sleepy. I’m going to do it again.


Minute 1

I wonder how my fellow lord of the rings troops are doing…


Minute 2


Minute 3


19:43 – I can’t believe how quickly time goes…


Sunday


20:30 – I am so hungover. Can't focus. Going to text Brandon and see what he recommends.


20:31 – He suggested light exercise and meditation. I’m probably not going to do that.


20:45 - Meditation time!


Minute 1

Don’t vomit.


Minute 2

Don’t vomit.


Minute 3 

Don’t vomit.


20:50 – I give up. I’m dead.


Monday


21:30 – Just got home. Need to walk the dog then meditate.


21:50 – Meditation time. I’m hoping to do better than yesterday.


Minute 1

Peaceeeeee


Minute 2

I want a bath


Minute 3


21:53 – That was pleasant. 


Tuesday


7:35 – I woke up before my alarm. That never happens. 


7:45 – Just put the kettle on. I’m going to have a coffee and try to meditate this morning.


Minute 1 


Minute 2


Minute 3


8:00 – Feeling very relaxed and super sleepy now.


8:10 – Going to shower to liven me up.

 

Source: Shanghaimindfulness.com


Wednesday


21:45 – Crazy day at work. Super busy, feeling a bit stressed out. 


Minute 1

I have 1,000 wechats to send


Minute 2

I can’t focus.


Minute 3

I give up


22:00 - Feeling super frustrated.  Going to lie in bed and just focus on my breathing.


Thursday


8:00 – Woke up before my alarm again, feeling really rested. 


8:10 – Focusing on my breathing last night as I was trying to sleep really settled me. Feeling super energized now.


16:35 – I wander if I can meditate at work.


16:40 – No I can’t.


22:35 – Nearly forgot to meditate. 


Minute 1

Breathe, breathe, breathe.


Minute 2 


Minute 3


23:00 – I feel like meditating in the evening is really helping me sleep. I normally sleep so badly and toss and turn and roll around. Now I’m out like a light and waking up feeling nice. I normally feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.


Friday


11:35 – Really pleased with this whole meditation thing. I so did not think I would like it. 


14:02 – Next week is super busy but I’ve been keeping my diary up to date in my notebook so this article will be super easy. Just type it up.


18:30 – Walk the dog, dump my stuff, out to dinner.

 


21:30 – OMG.


21:31 – Are you kidding me!


21:32 – The dog has D.E.S.T.R.O.Y.E.D. my belongings.


21:33 – Dear god. Please don’t let it be my notebook.


21:34 – All my tasting notes. MY MINDFULNESS DIARY.


21:35 – I am not feeling mindful.


23:30 – Still sulking about the loss of my diary. FFS. I have some of it typed up at work but not all. 


00:00 – Can’t sleep. I’m going to get up and meditate.


Minute 1

Very annoyed at the dog.


Minute 2

I don’t even like dogs.


Minute 3

She is the only thing I love. But I still want to kill her.


Saturday


10:30 – One week on for the beginning of my mindfulness journey. Hoorah! Going to meditate now because I’m busy tonight.


Minute 1

Still mad at the dog.


Minute 2


Minute 3


10:33 – One week of mindfulness successfully completed.

 

We made up eventually, but it took me a couple of days to fully forgive her…


So there you have it, my mindfulness diary. The dog destroying my notes is obviously far from ideal, I have had to estimate the times etc, but you get a general gist. All in all I really enjoyed the experience. Learning about how you have power and control over your thoughts is really interesting and I really found it helped me to relax after work in the evenings. I am 100% going to try to keep it up. My aim is going to be to meditate at least 5 days out of 7 and try to build up to 10 minutes. 


I feel really proud of myself for completing this challenge. I think what's most interesting for me, is how I started out as a huge skeptic and now I'm so into it. I'm about as far away from airy fairy meditation, 'calm like lotus flower, light like air' bollocks and humanly possible. But this worked for me. I really love it.


If you’re feeling stressed out, or like you want to make a change in your life that's positive, I would really recommend giving this a try. You can contact Brandon through WeChat or though his website for more information on booking a class.


WeChat: bmehrg

Official account: ShanghaiMindfulness

Website: www.shanghaimindfulness.com

Cost: RMB 200 per session 


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