The 10 best ugly Christmas jumpers for 2018

Image: via Taobao

Nothing says 'I'm visibly trying to have fun at my office Christmas party' like a garish Christmas jumper. These days, Grandma's knitted-with-love sweater has gone mainstream and it's now the uglier the better. Here are the ten best (we use the term best lightly) ugly Christmas jumpers to buy online now.

Buff Rudolph

Photograph: via Amazon.cn

Rudolph is here and you don't like how he's looking at your wife. His daily calorific intake is so high, you don't know if you've made enough pigs-in-blankets and you've already run out of eggnog after he insisted on drinking it by the pint. He's so jacked on steroids he keeps on deadlifting the Christmas tree and, again, you really don't like how he's looking at your wife. Find it on amazon.cn by extracting the QR code below (from 172RMB).

Get Yeti for Christmas

Photograph: via Amazon.cn

Husband: 'Hey, are you yeti for Christmas?'

Wife: 'Sorry, what?'

Husband: 'I'm nearly yeti, just gotta buy a couple more presents.'

Wife: 'What are you talking about?'

Husband: 'Yeti sounds like ready, duh!'

Wife: 'No it doesn't.'

Husband: 'You're definitely not yeti for Christmas or yeti for my great puns.'

Wife: 'I'm leaving you.'

Find it on amazon.cn by extracting the QR code below (from 193RMB).

Gremlins

Photograph: via Taobao

'No food after midnight,' shouts your mum. At first, you think she's referencing your cool new Gremlins sweater, but she's actually just laying down the law and putting an embargo on the leftover turkey in the fridge. 'I'm making sandwiches tomorrow.' You try to order waimai, but realise that late-night delivery isn't really a thing back home and you're going to have to go to an actual shop and use actual cash. You took two flights and a bus to get back but it feels like you hopped in a time machine... Find it on Taobao by extracting the QR code below and copying the link into your web browser or Taobao app (from 79RMB).

Smoking sloth

Photograph: via Amazon.cn

We aren't sure why this exists either, but if you want to see a sloth that is even more laid-back than usual – you can work out the reason for that on your own – this is the sweater for you. It's a perfect conversation starter at that awkward holiday gathering where you're meeting your significant other's family for the first time. Find it on amazon.cn by extracting the QR code below (from 156RMB).

Unnecessarily muscular Christmas cat

Photograph: via Taobao

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... because all the mice had been caught and f*cked up by this muscular mao. Look at its abs. LOOK AT THEM! Find it on Taobao by extracting the QR code below and copying the link into your web browser or Taobao app (from 65RMB).

A very trippy Christmas

Photograph: via Amazon.cn

It's Christmas Eve and you think someone has slipped something in your mulled wine. You're tripping baubles and this is what you see every time you close your eyes. 'How did the T-Rex put on the hat? Its arms are too short!' you scream. You'll be coming down to Earth on Christmas morning harder than Santa down a chimney. Find it on amazon.cn by extracting the QR code below (from 148RMB).

Hairy and scary

Photograph: via Taobao

'Whoa, cover yourself up!' laughs Jane from HR as you pour yourself a drink. 'I'll get you a razor for Christmas!' Wang from IT bellows. Everyone loves your jumper and you think the office party might actually be good this year. 'You are so fat and hairy and have made such bad choices when it comes to tattoos and piercings you could be mistaken for not wearing a jumper at all!' says Phil from sales, simultaneously ruining your mood and the entire evening. Thanks, Phil... Find it on Taobao by extracting the QR code below and copying the link into your web browser or Taobao app (from 85RMB).

It's Christmas, bitches!

Photograph: via Amazon.cn

'It's Christmas, bitches!' your uncle shouts as he bursts through your front door. But it's not Christmas, is it? It's December 16. He arrives slightly earlier each year and also seems to leave slightly later. It's been three Christmases since your aunt left him – you aren't exactly sure why; something to do with a terrible yeti pun, maybe – and he hasn't gotten over it. Find it on amazon.cn by extracting the QR code below (from 163RMB).

Sexy(?) Santa

Photograph: via Taobao

Mum's new boyfriend is a mall Santa and they like to utilise the costume in the bedroom. This was the scene you walked in on last night. You really regret going home for the holidays. Find it on Taobao by extracting the QR code below and copying the link into your web browser or Taobao app (from 69RMB).

Carlton Banks

Photograph: via Taobao

YES! Find it on Taobao by extracting the QR code below and copying the link into your web browser or Taobao app (from 41RMB).

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