伍迪·艾伦：倒序人生 In my next life

Woody Allen’s Living life backwards quote

译者丨Ambrosia_L

下辈子，我想倒着活一回。

第一步就是死亡，然后把它抛在脑后。

在敬老院睁开眼

一天比一天感觉更好

直到因为太健康被踢出去。

领上养老金，然后开始工作

第一天就得到一块金表，还有庆祝派对

40年后，够年轻了，可以去享受退休生活了。

狂欢，喝酒，恣情纵欲

然后准备好可以上高中了。

接着上小学

然后变成了个孩子，无忧无虑地玩耍

肩上没有任何责任

不久，成了婴儿，直到出生。

人生最后九个月，在奢华的水疗池里漂着

那里有中央供暖，客房服务随叫随到

住的地方一天比一天大，然后，哈！

我在高潮中结束了一生！

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In my next life I want to live backwards.

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home

feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy,

go collect your pension, and then when you start work

you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You part, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous,

then you are ready for high school.

You then go to primary school,

You become a kid, you play,

You have no responsibilities,

You become a baby until you are born.

And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa

like conditions with central heating and room service on tap

larger quarters every day and then, Voila!

You finish off as an orgasm!