拥有强健意志的人绝对不会做的13件事
改变不健康的习惯可迅速提高适应力。试着把一些重要的提示抄在随身的本子里或手机上吧，一天看一遍提醒自己。
意志力强大的人不会做的13件事
13 Things Mentally Strong College Students Don't Do
译者：低头麦穗
Developing resilience to stress and imrpoving your psychological health isn't always about adding more good habits to your routine. Instead, reaching your greatest potential often means getting rid of the bad habits that are holding you back.
培养好习惯并不代表有助于应对压力、促进心理健康。相反，挖掘自己最大的潜力去改进一些坏习惯反而是不错的办法。
Whether you're hoping to gain more direction for your future, or you're striving to improve your academic performance, building mental strength will help you reach your goals. To become mentally strong, you must give up the bad habits that prevent you from becoming your best self.
不论是希望未来目标明确，还是想要努力提高自己的学业成绩，树立意志力都会助你实现自己的理想。而你必须要放弃一些不良习惯，才能朝着最好的自己一路狂奔。
Here are the 13 things mentally strong college students don't do:
以下是意志力强大的人不会做的13件事：
Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
1、顾影自怜
Many of life's problems and sorrows are inevitable, but feeling sorry for yourself is a choice. Whether you're drowning in student loan debt, or you're struggling to pass Advanced Calculus, indulging in self-pity won't fix your problems.
生活中许多问题和悲伤都是无可避免的，不要自怨自艾。不管你是背负学生贷款也好，还是为了通过高等微积分考试而奋力学习也罢，自怨自艾永远不是解决问题的办法。
If you're tempted to host a pity party when the going gets rough, train your brain to exchange self-pity with gratitude. Mentally strong people don't waste their time and energy thinking about the problem, instead they focus on creating a solution.
当你身陷窘境中，有人叫你去主持一场同情聚会，告诉自己要懂得感恩，而不是自怜。意志力强大的人从不会把时间和精力用在思考问题上，而是解决问题上。
2. Give Away Their Power
2、受他人控制
It can be tempting to blame other people for when you face problems and experience uncomfortable emotions. Thinking things like, "My professor makes me feel bad about myself," however, gives others power over you.
每当遇到问题或情感受挫时，人都会倾向于向他人抱怨。如果你总认为“我这么差劲都是因为我教授教学水平差劲”，那你这是在让别人控制自己。
Take back your power by accepting full responsibility for how you think, feel, and behave. Empowering yourself is an essential component to building mental strength and creating the kind of life you want to live.
寻回自己的内力，为自己的思想、感受及行为负责。自控是树立意志力、创造新生活的大前提。
3. Shy Away From Change
3、逃避改变
Although you likely feel safest when when you stay within your comfort zone, a safe life isn't necessary fulfilling. Avoiding new challenges serves as the biggest obstacle to living a full and rich life.
尽管你待在舒适区可能会觉得很安全，但安全的生活并不会让你感到充实。回避新的挑战只会阻止你与充实和丰富的生活的擦肩而过。
Acknowledge when you're avoiding change simply because you want to escape the discomfort associated with doing something new. Commit to facing uncomfortable emotions head-on. The more you practice stepping outside your comfort zone, the more confident you'll become in your ability to tolerate the distress that may be necessary to reach your full potential.
要知道回避改变，只是因为你想要逃避新鲜事物带给你的不适感。你得迎头面对它。只有不断地迈出舒适区，你才会坚信自己有能力忍受苦难，这很可能会挖掘到你的潜力。
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can't Control
4、在不可控的事情上浪费精力
It's tempting sometimes to worry about all the wrong things. Rather than focus on preparing for the storm, you may be tempted to waste energy wishing the storm wouldn't come. If you invested that same energy into the things you do have control over, you'd be much better prepared for whatever life throws our way.
人们有时爱在错误的事上担心纠结。暴风雨要来了，你没有在做防御准备，而是在那祈求暴风雨不要来吧！如果你把精力放在可控制的事情上，生活中无论有何遭遇，你都能从容应对。
Acknowledge the things you can't control, but don't waste too much time and energy on them. Rather than waste your resources worrying about things like your roommate's GPA or how the job market is going to look when you graduate, devote your energy to problems you can change.
不要把时间和精力用在自己不可控制的事情上。与其担心你室友的平均分或者忧虑毕业后就业情况，不如尽力去解决可控的问题。
5. Worry About Pleasing Everyone
5、想要讨好所有人
Choosing a major based on what your parents want you to do, or accepting an internship that a professor wants you to take, can interfere with your ability to create your own path in life. Doing things that won't be met with favor takes courage, but living a truly authentic life requires you to live according to your values, even when your choices aren't popular.
成天思考的都是你父母想让你做什么，或者是你教授想让你接受的实习工作，这些都会妨碍你的人生方向。毫无兴趣的做事情需要勇气，活出生活的本色需要你依据自己的价值观活下去，就算你的选择不被认同，那也不在乎。
Cherish what it means to be an adult—you get to make your own choices, regardless of what other people think. It's not your job to make anyone else happy. Be bold and brave, even when others around you aren't happy about your choices.
重视自己——走自己的路，让别人说去。即使周围所有的人都不满意你的选择，也要勇敢无畏的走下去，因为你不是为了让别人高兴才去工作。
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks
6、害怕承担风险
You likely make dozens—if not hundreds—of choices every day with very little consideration of the risks you're taking. And in college, calculating those risks fall on your shoulders for the first time. It's up to you decide everything from what you're going to do on Friday night to what path you're going to take.
你每天都会做没有一百也有几十个选择，几乎很少考虑其中所带来的风险。上了大学以后，你开始独自考虑选择背后的风险，不管是周五晚上做什么，还是未来的职业规划，你都要独自决定。
Avoid basing your decisions solely on emotion, rather than the true level of risk. Emotions can be irrational and unreliable so your level of fear isn't an accurate way to calculate risk. You don't get to be extraordinary without taking risks, but it's important to take calculated risks, not reckless ones.
做决定时，千万别感情用事。感情是不理智且不可靠的，所以你若害怕，就无法了解每项决定背后的风险。虽然不承担风险，你也成不了非凡的人。但比起不计后果，承担风险显然很重要。
7. Dwell on the Past
7、沉浸在过去
While reflecting on the past can help you learn valuable lessons, ruminating on your history can be harmful. Whether you were bullied in junior high, or still can't believe you didn't pass that class last semester, dwelling on it will only hold you back.
反思过去，获得经验；沉浸过去，有害无益。初中被欺负，无法接受上学期考试没及格，沉浸其中只会让你后退。
Although moving forward can be hard—especially if you've endured your share of misfortune—it's a necessary step to becoming your best self. Make peace with your past so you can enjoy the present and make your future as good as it can be.
尽管勇往直前确实不易——特别是要忍受曾经的不幸——但只要踏出这一步，就会成为最好的自己。接纳自己的过去，你会享受当下，并创造美好的未来。
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
8、多次犯同样的错误
It'd be nice to learn enough from each mistake that you'd be guaranteed to never repeat that same mistake twice. But, how many times have you said, "I'll never do that again," only to find yourself right back at it a few days later?
从每个错误中得到教训，就会防止自己同样错误犯两次。但是你有多少次说“我再不那么做了”，结果没几天又犯了？
Mentally strong people don't hide their mistakes or make excuses for them. Instead they turn their mistakes into opportunities for self-growth. Be humble and learn from your mistakes, and you'll find new strategies to become better.
意志力强的人不会隐藏自己的错误，也不会为自己找借口。他们会把错误当成成长的机会。谦卑地从错误中得到教训，找到应对的方法。
9. Resent Other People's Success
9、憎恨他人的成功
No matter where you go to college, you're bound to be surrounded by people who are prettier, smarter, wealthier, and more successful. Focusing on all the things other people have however, will interfere with your ability to reach your goals.
不管你去哪个大学，身边总会有比你漂亮、聪明、有钱、成功的人。如果你只关注别人，就会妨碍自己取得成功。
When you're secure in your own definition of success, you'll stop resenting other people for obtaining their goals and you'll be committed to reaching your dreams. Remember that your journey in life is different and unique. Compete to become better than who you were yesterday, rather than compare yourself with those around you.
当你对自己的事情有把握，就不要憎恨别人目标的实现，你得继续努力实现自己的目标。记住，你的人生旅途是独一无二、不可替代的。和自己的昨天比，进步了才是好的，不要和别人比较。
10. Give Up After Failure
10、失败后轻言放弃
From a young age, you may have been taught that failure is bad. But, it's nearly impossible to succeed if you never fail.
年轻人，你可能觉得失败是差劲的。但你若从未失败过，你也不可能成功。
Mentally strong people view failure as proof that they're pushing themselves to the limits in their efforts to reach their full potential. While it's normal to feel embarrassed, discouraged, and downright defeated when your first attempts don't work, don't give up. Turn failure into an opportunity to become better.
意志力强的人会把失败当成是挑战自我的证据，尽力竭力发挥自己的潜力。当然第一次尝试失败了，你会感到尴尬、气馁、泄气，这太正常不过，千万不要放弃。把失败当成你进步的机会吧！
11. Fear Alone Time
11、害怕独处
In today's fast paced world, obtaining a little quiet time takes a concerted effort. But avoiding silence and solitude because it feels uncomfortable isn't healthy.
在今天的快节奏世界里，想要安静片刻简直是不易。因为感到不舒服就逃避安静和孤独，是不健康的心态。
Taking time for yourself is an essential component to building mental strength. Create opportunities to be alone with your thoughts so you can reflect on your progress and consider your goals for the future.
和自己独处一段时间，是建立意志力的基本条件。找个机会和自己的思想对话，你可以反思自己的进步，考虑未来的目标。
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything
12、总觉得世界都欠你
It's easy to get caught up in feeling a sense of entitlement. But waiting for the world— or the people in it—to give you what you think you're owed isn't a helpful life strategy. Just because you work hard, doesn't mean you deserve success. Or toughing it out through bad times doesn't mean you deserve good things to happen.
人很容易陷入主观情感里。但是等着全世界——或者全世界的人——去给予你他们亏欠你的东西，对生活没有任何帮助。你工作努力，不意味着你会成功；倒霉的时候坚持到底，不代表好运会来。
Focus on what you have to give, rather than what you think you deserve. You have gifts to share with the world, regardless of whether you've gotten a "fair deal" in life.
你要想自己能给别人带来什么，而不是能得到什么。你要去分享，不要在意是否会有回报。
13. Expect Immediate Results
13、期待马上得到回报
The "no lines, no waiting" lifestyle makes your brain start to believe that everything should happen instantaneously. But not everything happens at lightning speed. Self-growth develops at more of a snail's pace.
“不要等待”这种生活方式会让你的大脑觉得所有事情应该一击即发，但事实并非如此啊。自我成长都是以蜗牛的速度爬行。
Whether you're trying to lose weight or you want to improve your self-confidence, slow and steady wins the race and expecting immediate results will only lead to disappointment. Even when it feels like you're moving too slow, keep going. As long as you're headed in the right direction, you're making progress.
无论是努力减肥，还是想要提高自信，脚踏实地才是硬道理，期待马上得到结果只会让你失望。即使你觉得进步很慢，别放弃，继续前进。只要你朝着正确的方向前行，你就是在进步。
Build Your Mental Muscle
建立你的意志肌肉
Gaining mental strength is a lot like building physical strength. While a successful bodybuilder needs to maintain his physique with good habits, like going to the gym, it's equally important for that bodybuilder to get rid of unhealthy habits, like eating junk food. An exercise regimen won't be effective in building lean muscle unless unhealthy eating habits are also eliminated.
获得意志力更像是锻炼身体。一个健身成功的人需要有良好的习惯维持住自己的好身材，比如要去健身房；也要抵制住不良习惯，比如吃垃圾食品。健康的饮食习惯，规律的锻炼身体，让你拥有一身的肌肉。
Similarly, building mental muscle requires hard work, dedication and exercise. In addition to adopting healthy habits, it's also essential to avoid detrimental habits—like thinking negatively, engaging in unproductive behavior, and indulging in self-destructive emotions.
同样，建立意志肌肉也需要努力尽力的练习。除了要有健康的习惯，还要避免不利的习惯——想法消极、无价值行为、沉浸在自我毁灭的情感里。
The good news is, everyone has the ability to build mental strength. But to do so, you need to develop self-awareness about the self-destructive thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that prevent you from reaching your full potential. Once you recognize areas that need work, commit to mental strength exercises that will help you create healthier habits and build mental muscle.
好消息是每个人都有能力建立意志力，但前提是你需要了解那些自我毁灭的思想、行为和情绪，这些都会阻碍自己充分发挥潜力。一旦你有这个意识，就尽力去锻炼自己的意志力，这会帮助你培养更健康的习惯、建立意志肌肉。
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