怎么待在你不能改变的教会里 （part 4 of 4 ）
前三篇文章之后，我要讲如何待在你不能改变的教会里。
忍耐你改变不了的事
很明显你不应该忍耐异端或主要的教义错误。所以如果你的教会开始在神学上严重脱轨，你就要做工把它拉回正道上。如果它全然脱轨，没有进一步改革的真正机会，其实你除了离开就别无选择。
但是让我们说，你是在一家教义方面基本纯正的教会，但是有一大堆比较小，但仍然是严重的问题。而且看起来这些问题在近期之内不会消失。
基本上你有两个选择：和平离开，或者欢喜留下。
和平地离开……
你是否决定离开，这部分要取决于附近是否有另外一家健康得多的教会。这不是要考虑问题的全部，但却是必不可少的一部分。
如果你真决定离开，在你离开的时候要保守合一。说明你离开的原因时要有恩慈，要说得有节制。对你目前的教会和它的领袖，要尽你所能说好话。在你离开之前就预先工作，把你离开可能造成的任何关系方面的伤害，或事奉方面的紧张关系降低到最小程度。为你的心，为你的领袖，并且为全教会祷告。不要让苦毒作你的随从护送你出门，或者你留下的告别礼物。
但是你是否离开，这也取决于你决定什么是可以忍受，什么是不可以忍受。要认真考虑神学方面的轻重缓急 — 哪些教义比其它更中心，重要和在实践方面更有影响。认真考虑是偏好的问题还是圣经原则的问题，是风格的问题还是实质的问题。寻求意见。用祷告的心决定你的底线在哪里。如果底线被清楚突破，那就和平离开。
…或者欢喜地留下
但如果你决定留下，无论是因为你甘心决定你能忍耐不能改变的事，或只是因为没有别处可去，那就欢喜留下。以下是这样做的几种方法：
1. 忠心于你的牧师
首先，忠心于你的牧师。作一位忠心、顺服、谦卑和支持的教会成员。把那种你的忠心和顺服取决于你的牧师要在教义和实践方面凡事认同你的想法赶出去。不要让你在神学或实践方面的分歧演变为不顺服的理由，违背圣经要求你顺从长老、在主里敬重他们的命令（来13:17；帖前5:12-13）。.
换言之，作你牧师的真朋友。分担他的重担。为他祷告。支持他。用你自己对他充满喜乐的欣赏，堵住别人对他说的流言蜚语和投诉。亲自让他知道你爱他，支持他。
2. 肯定教会中好的方面，特别是讲道中好的方面
第二，按你所能肯定你教会的事奉，特别是你牧师讲道中的每一件事情。我说的“肯定”是指发出具体的口头鼓励，既鼓励你的牧师，也鼓励其他教会成员。
当你特别受到你的牧师在一篇讲道里对圣经解释的鼓励，把这告诉他，并且告诉他原因是什么。让他看到他的服事正在你的生命中结出果子。这要对你的灵魂和他的灵魂都有好处。
3. 不要在教会成员之间激发不满
第三，不要在教会成员之间激发不满。如果你对某些方面，比如改革宗的救恩论或释经式讲道有了坚定看法，是超过了你牧师的确信程度，你在向其他教会成员讲这些事情的时候就要特别小心谨慎。你最不想做的事，就是散布不满的种子，或者开始争取其他人支持你的观点，反对牧师。
4. 作敬虔得充满吸引力的人
第五，作敬虔得充满吸引的人。让你自己沉浸在圣经和祷告里。以顺服耶稣作为你的首要雄心壮志。作合乎圣经的健康与生命的源泉，让这些满溢，流向其他人。
5. 存着爱心
最后，做完这些之后，还要存着爱心。忍耐与你同为教会成员的人。操练自己不去抱怨和批评。不仅要制伏你的舌头，还要制伏你的灵。以神正在你教会中做的美事为乐，如此大大欢喜，以致你身上没有给不满的忧郁留有余地。
换言之，爱你的教会，因为基督爱教会，为她舍己（弗5:25）。爱你的教会，不是因为她可爱才爱她，而是因为她是蒙爱的（申7:7-8）。如果尽管你的教会有各样问题，神仍能爱你的教会，那么你也能爱教会。
How to Live with What You Can’t Change (Part 4 of 4)
In three recent posts I’ve argued that for the most part, if you’re not a pastor you can’t change anything fundamental about your church. And I examined exceptions to this and talked about what you can do to change your church.
In this final post I want to reflect on how to live with what you can’t change in your church.
LIVING WITH WHAT YOU CAN’T CHANGE
Obviously, you shouldn’t live with heresy or with major doctrinal error. So if your church starts to seriously head off the theological rails, work to bring it back on course. And if it leaves the track entirely, with no real chance of further reformation, you really have no choice but to leave.
But let’s say you’re in a church that is basically doctrinally sound, but which has a whole host of lesser, though still serious, problems. And it doesn’t look like those problems are going away any time soon.
Basically, you’ve got two options: leave peaceably, or stay cheerfully.
Leave Peaceably…
Whether or not you decide to leave will depend in part on whether there’s another, significantly healthier church nearby. That’s not the whole story, but it’s a necessary piece.
If you do decide to leave, preserve unity on your way out. Speak charitably and sparingly about your reasons for leaving. Speak as highly as you possibly can about your current church and its leaders. Work ahead of your move to minimize any relational damage or ministry strain your departure may cause. And pray for your heart, for your leaders, and for the whole church. Don’t let bitterness be your escort out the door, or the parting gift you leave behind.
But whether you leave also depends on what you decide you can and can’t live with. Think carefully about theological triage—which doctrines are more central, weighty, and practically significant than others. Think carefully about matters of preference versus biblical principle, style versus substance. Seek counsel. Prayerfully determine where your threshold is. And if the threshold is clearly crossed, leave peaceably.
…or Stay Cheerfully
But if you decide to stay, whether because you freely decide you can live with what you can’t change or simply because there’s nowhere else to go, stay cheerfully. Here are a few ways to do that:
1. Be Loyal to Your Pastor
First, be loyal to your pastor. Be a faithful, submissive, humble, and supportive church member. Banish the thought that your loyalty and submission depend on your pastor agreeing with you on every point of doctrine and practice. Don’t let your theological or practical disagreements morph into justifications for disobeying the Bible’s commands to submit to your elders and esteem them highly in the Lord (Heb. 13:17; 1 Thess. 5:12-13).
In other words, be a true friend to your pastor. Bear his burdens. Pray for him. Be for him. Silence others’ gossip and complaints about him with your own joyful appreciation of him. And let him know personally that you love him and support him.
2. Affirm the Good in the Church, Especially in the Preaching
Second, affirm everything you can about your church’s ministry, especially your pastor’s preaching. By “affirm” I mean give specific verbal encouragement, both to your pastor and to other church members.
When you’ve been particularly encouraged by your pastor’s exposition of Scripture in a sermon, tell him, and tell him why. Show him that his ministry is bearing fruit in your life. This will be good for your soul and for his.
3. Don’t Provoke Discontent among Church Members
Third, don’t provoke discontent among church members. If you’ve developed convictions that go beyond your pastor’s—for instance, about Reformed soteriology or expositional preaching—be very guarded and cautious about how you speak to fellow church members about them. The last thing you want is to sow seeds of discontent or start rallying people around your ideas over against the pastor.
4. Be Attractively Godly
Fifth, be attractively godly. Soak yourself in Scripture and prayer. Make obedience to Jesus your chief ambition. Be a fountain of biblical health and life that overflows to others.
5. Put on Love
Finally, over all this, put on love. Be patient with your fellow church members. Discipline yourself not to complain and critique. Master not just your tongue but your spirit. Take such joy in the good things God is doing in your church that it leaves little room for discontented moping.
In other words, love your church because Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her (Eph. 5:25). Love your church not because they’re lovely, but because they’re loved (Deut. 7:7-8). And if God can love your church despite all that might be wrong with them, so can you.
作者：Bobby Jamieson
Bobby Jamieson 是九标志英文事工的助理编辑，第三大道浸信会成员，毕业于美南浸信会神学院。
用圣经视野和实用资源装备教会领袖
进而通过健康的教会向世界彰显神的荣耀
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