How to support your kids through high school
High school can be the worst and best of times, and the way it turns out depends on how you approach it. Going in with the right mindset can determine what your final teenage years will look like. High school for me was not only a requirement that acted as a gateway for the future of endless opportunities, but it was a journey on its own, and one that I cherish looking back. Today, I would like to let you in on three factors that have contributed to making my educational journey a very memorable one.
Firstly, let’s look at choosing courses. In the case of IB, this happens in Grade 10, usually around the age of 15. The subjects you choose to take in high school will not only determine the content you learn in the following two years, but can have a large impact on university admissions. Needless to say, it is a considerable amount of stress for a 15 year old. I was lucky enough to know that I always wanted to study psychology from a younger age, and could therefore pick the courses that interested me most, including psychology, biology and mathematics. When I was applying for university, especially in the UK, they had requirements for taking these courses at higher level, so my planning in advance greatly helped in my admittance. However, not everyone knows what they would like to do at such an early stage. This is where my first advice comes in. Do not pick courses alone, and do not let others do so for you. It should be a collective and open discussion, ideally between yourself, family, and counsellors. This stage of the process, however, rarely goes without conflict. I am sure we all know someone who was forced to take subjects that they were not interested in because it would look “better in their CV” in the future. But from my experience, those who choose not to do what they love often end up in a downspiral of lack of motivation, mental health, and thus academic failure. The Diploma Program takes a lot of effort, and without the willpower, it is difficult to come far, even for the strongest students. Therefore, it is crucial for the voices of the students to be heard, and that parents and counsellors offer guidance instead of forceful direction. And on the topic of difficult, yet crucial moments, I would like to pass onto the second factor influencing success throughout high school. How to handle the demands of IB and reduce the social and academic stress of the final years of this journey.
As all students can attest to, DP not only brings about peaks of stress, such as during the exam period, but it is a form of ongoing stress that manifests itself in different ways. It can be breakdowns, constant agitation, inappropriate reactions in social situations, weight gain, deterioration of mental health. The list does not end there. But although this stress will be unavoidable, one can greatly impact the way in which one acts upon these demands. I will not now tell you a list of the attributes you should have and hear about from family and teachers, such as time management and organization, but will share what I believe helped me most throughout these past few years. For me, the biggest factor influencing my happiness and success were family dinners. This might come as a surprise to many, as sharing a meal with family might appear unrelated to academic success and mental health, but I would call this activity a hidden treasure. Going through high school, each student will be approached with new situations, experiences, ups and downs. By keeping these in you, not only are you faced with problems to tackle by yourself, but you miss out on advice and support from those who have decades more of experience and keep your best interests in the forefront of their minds. During my family dinners, which we tried to have daily even if it meant waiting until 9pm to eat together, we shared what we did each day and how we felt about the different situations we were in. I not only learned a lot from my family during these moments, but I also realized more about myself. By externalizing my emotions, I became more aware of them, and of the person I am. But besides this advantage, family dinners also make each person in the family a better listener, and can develop attributes such as being caring, cooperative, and learning how to manage stress. Family dinners can thus be regarded as a therapeutic treasure, which creates a support system that teaches you more about yourself and your loved ones.
The final factor I would like to discuss, which is inevitably a part of high school, is making and reacting to mistakes. As in life, there will be disappointments, situations which you regret. But often times, we are too fixated on these so called mistakes. That is why I decided to replace this label with the term learning experience. Looking back now, I am grateful for every one that I made, as in the long term, I learned most from them. For example, in Grade 10 I decided to join the basketball team in school which took a minimum of 12 hours out of each week for training. I was put in the varisty team, despite it being my first time ever playing basketball, but had the opportunity to be in junior varisty if I wanted to. I choose to stay in varsity because of the label, and the power and pride associated with being in the most competitive team. However, this not only led to a whole season of being bench for the team, but I missed out on many opportunities to learn how to play the game, and develop a passion for it. This was a big “learning opportunity” for me. I realized the worthlessness of labels, and I transferred this realization to other situations. For instance, when choosing which university I wanted to go to, I focused on those that would be best for psychology, and not just those which are ranked number one overall. As a result, I will now be attending a university that fits me as a person, one in which I have the opportunity to thrive in. Thus, my “mistake” in Grade 10 has greatly contributed to my success and happiness today. That is why I strongly suggest that you take on this mindset with me. Mistakes can be some of the most impactful learning opportunities we have, so celebrate them, and thank yourselves for trying, for giving it a go. In the end, as the saying goes, we miss all of the chances we do not take. And the beauty in this, is that you can be the decider of which initiatives you take on. You have the power to choose to try a new club, to take on a new hobby, to take that leap of faith. So take it. Make mistakes. Create those learning opportunities for yourself.
And I would now like to conclude with a final thought. And that is to move away from the “one size fits all” solution to your schooling. You have the ability to cater it to your own interests, abilities, and passions. And remember that the only thing that can stop you is giving up. So approach high school in a strategic way from the start, and make it a journey that you design, and one which you share with your family and friends. Make it a journey that you will in the way, cherish, the way that I cherish mine.