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广东英语新闻背后的故事,我们要做文字的奴隶

2016-09-24 交哥 广东英语新闻

读者君,


您好!


我是今天英语新闻公众号的撰稿人,也是广东英语新闻栏目背后一名普通编辑,同事们都管我叫交哥。


我就不贴自己的照片了,出来吓人就不好了,可我可以与大家分享我在办公室养护的一些花花草草;我也想和您分享一下英语新闻幕后的点点滴滴。





这里面的内容干货居多,也怕您闷,我在文字中间夹了一些昨天在华南植物园拍的花草照片。



 

1. The success of translation service is how much we are not noticed.


没错,作为国际新闻编译的普通一兵,我的重要使命就是把自己隐身起来,让节目观众更多地关注节目本身,而忽略到我们的存在。


因为一旦听众意识到哪里有不对,很有可能就是我们的编译活没有做好。这两天刚好有一个比较典型的例子,就是李克强总理纠正翻译的。


[有兴趣的朋友请搜“实拍李克强纠正英语传译获全场热烈掌声”视频]




2. 新闻编译有其特殊性。


首先就是要有新闻范,如主持人说的那几句话,在我们行话里,我们管叫“导语”。别小看那短短几句话,那是最难写的,因为得交代清楚事件的来龙去脉,如:Who, What, When, Where and How,有接触过新闻写作的人都知道,这活不容易干。


而根据一些优秀新闻写作者的经验,标题和导语往往或占用他们整个写作一半,甚至更长的时间。




举一个例子,“广州海珠区的江南大道南有一条断头路,从江泰路开到新滘西路短短一千多米却要兜很一大个圈,上下班高峰这里塞到“呕血”。今年广州市两会就有关于要打通这条路的提案。今日广州市建委组织各部门对现场进行调研和召开座谈会,根据初步方案,若要打通该路需投入资金高得惊人,平均一百米就要一个亿啊!详细情况我们的记者去了解过。”


People residing in Guangzhou’s Haizhou District have to make a long detour when passing the south section of Jiangnan Avenue, as there is a dead-end road there. A high-end meeting was held onThursday, discussing the possibility of removing the roadblock. XXX has more.

 

交哥注:这句导语我纠缠了很久,因为要添加一些背景资料,才能让后面的meeting 顺理成章,而 removing the roadblock 也是根据上下文的意思主动添加的,也呼应了 dead-end road




特殊性还表达在语言的风格,我们会尽可能地陈述事件本身,而避免使用带强烈感情色彩的字句。


我好像记得某新闻教科书上说,记者报道新闻事件的使命就是高高举起一面镜子,将事情的来龙去脉尽可能地呈现在受众面前,而将如何评判事件的自由与权利交给你的受众。


举例,每天夏天我们都会做广东市民踊跃尝试天灸治疗的新闻稿子,在介绍天灸的时候,我们先是用了这句:“Tian Jiu” is a unique traditional Chinese medicine treatment therapy. A complete treatment cycle consists of a total of three sessions. It is safe and simple, and has shown to have a positive effect on common urban diseases, such as allergic rhinitis, asthma, chronic bronchitis, etc.

 

后来经外专提醒,我们修改为 It is said to be safe and simple,这样就把我们的立场与观点隐藏起来了,让我们的稿子更加中立。


新闻英语更加倾向用更加简单的表述,举“丧失自理能力的老人”为例,原译法是:Those elderly who are without self-care ability of daily living;被外专修改为To those who are unable to look after themselves.




3.  学会读懂中文


您没看错,我们每天都在头疼该如何读懂我们需要处理的稿子,而我们是一年365天不间断播出的英语节目。我们每天都在接触各种类型的稿子,今天不知道明天会碰到怎样的稿子,举例:供给侧改革、积分入户、药品加成、营改增等等;所以我们得让自己平时做到事事关心,就怕哪一天要做某个主题相关的稿子。

 

而当自觉学习成了一种习惯,我们就能发现一些精妙的译法,如:碰瓷-Staged accident; 取消药品加成-Zero-profit drug sale; 打假球-fixed game;




4. 剩下的就是翻译的基本功,我与我的同事们每天都在纠结翻译文字该如何尽善尽美。


先举美国作家马克吐温的一句名言:The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. 


字面意思是:一个好词与差不多好词之间的区别就像闪电与萤火虫之间的区别一样。再说,我们的稿件会经过外国专家与译审的校对,短短一篇稿件给修得面目全非肯定会让我们难堪的。我自己也很感激有这样的工作机会,可以和一些高水平的英语外专进行短兵相接的学习机会。


举例,某一天我做一条关于马拉松的稿子,说到运动员身体遇到了极点。不怕您笑话,我真不知道极点该怎么翻译,后来是请教了外专,才知道专业的说法是 hitting the wall,才有了以下这段文字:

 

Most runners experience extreme physical fatigue during the second half of the race, with symptoms including breathing difficulties, muscle pain and total exhaustion. To marathon runners this is known as "hitting the wall", and a full-marathon runner could endure this complete exhaustion twice in one run. Runners are advised to stay mentally tough and do whatever it takes to keep their minds occupied, including singing songs, playing mental games and talking to other runners.



另一个例子是一段同期声,关于家庭暴力的。原文是这样:

 

【同期声】社工  红梅

有人报警之后警察也说这是你家里的事情

很简单很粗暴的有时候就拒绝出警都会有啊

立法的话就让大家也有更多的认识

【尾句】社会公众可以看到家暴不是个人的问题

 

我原来的译法是:

Police might say it is your family business

Victims’ request for help might be even ignored sometimes

If there is a law against domestic violence

The public will learn that it is a serious crime


外专修改的版本是:

Police often turn a blind eye to domestic troubles

Requests for help can sometimes be completed ignored

If there were a law against domestic violence

The public would have a better understanding of how wrong it is


交哥注:仔细留意,会发现外专帮我修改了语法错误,if there is 改为了 if there were,因为是虚拟语气;另外,最后一句话, of how wrong it is 这句话也很适合新闻英语,用最简单的说法将意思表达出来。

 

我的其他体会还包括:将句子写短,写长句子不是本事,写短句子才是;要保持旺盛的好奇心,细心捕捉到文字背后隐含的意思。



 

以我很喜欢的一段文字做结,我为自己是一名文字奴隶而自豪。


Because people cannot see the color of words, the secret ghostly motions of words; because they cannot hear the whispering of words, the rustling of the procession of letters, the dream-flutes and dream-drums which are thinly and weirdly played by words. Because they cannot perceive the pouting of words, the frowning of words and fuming of words, the weeping, the raging and racketing and rioting of words. Because they are insensible to the phosphorescing of words, the fragrance of words, the dryness or juiciness of words.

 

Is that any reason why we should nottry to make them hear? To make them see? To make them feel?


人们看不到文字的色彩,捕捉不到文字那不着痕迹的动作;人们听不到文字间的窃窃私语,不知道文字组合起来会发出瑟瑟的声响,更会不可思议地奏出美妙的乐章,如笛声,如鼓鸣。文字原来和人一样,也会撅嘴生气,也会眉头大皱,文字同样会愤怒,会哭泣,会肆虐不安,也喜欢吵闹。文字会发出光芒,也有醉人的馨香,文字也有干涩与甘甜的区别。很可惜,这些人们统统都不知道。

 

我们没有任何理由袖手,我们要努力让文字被人聆听,被人看见,被人感悟!

 

祝好!希望您能够坚持看到这里。您的点赞和转发对我们很重要。

 

交哥叩首

 


图片来自:交哥



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