Disabled son wins Harvard place, thanks to mom's devotion
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A famous saying by English poet George Herbert goes "One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters."
In the case of Ding Zheng, who was born with cerebral palsy in China's Hubei Province and is studying law at Harvard University, his mother Zou Hongyan is worth a thousand schoolmasters and more.
"There is little value in rescuing the baby. He will become mentally disabled or paralyzed. I suggest you give up," a doctor at Jingzhou District Hospital told Zou and her family on July 21, 1988.
On the fourth day after giving birth, Zou managed to go to the intensive care unit where her baby was, only to find him especially "quiet," neither crying nor even frowning after a nurse gave him injections of medicine.
Her child was in a life-threatening situation after suffering intrauterine hypoxia due to the medical negligence in Jingzhou City of Hubei Province on July 18, 1988, leaving her with the choices of either taking the baby off life support or keeping him on it, but probably ending up living a difficult life taking care of the physically handicapped or even paralyzed boy.
The mom couldn't bear to let her boy die.
"You are just too stubborn to listen to the doctor's advice. You will be the one to take care of the baby," said Zou's husband.
Yet Zou did not change her mind and started the long journey of rehabilitation training for Ding. Zou divorced her husband when Ding turned 10 due to their differences over whether to raise Ding.
With continuous treatment, the day finally came when the doctor said Ding's intelligence level was normal after the boy turned one year of age.
Ding needed massage treatment three times a week, costing five yuan (about 0.7 US dollars) for each session. But Zou's salary as a teacher was just over 100 yuan (about 14.5 dollars) in the 1990s. There was no insurance covering Ding's rehabilitation.
The family was packed together into a room of less than 20 square meters. Whenever there was rain, basins and buckets were put on the bed to collect the rain drops.
In order to make a living and treat Ding's illness, Zou did many part-time jobs, including selling insurance after work for five years.
"When I was young, once we encountered heavy snow when she carried me by bike to the hospital for massage treatment. Suddenly, the bike fell over into the mud. When my mom helped me up, the bike fell down; when she lifted the bike, I fell down. The moment we reached the hospital, both of us were covered with mud," said Ding, adding that even the doctor was moved by Zou's persistence.
Some may say Zou shows her son a lot of "tough love."
Due to damaged motor neurons in the cerebellum, Ding had great difficulties in sports: He could not hold things until the age of one; he learned to stand at the age of two, walk at three and jump at six. Zou instilled perseverance into her son and never let him give up.
Using chopsticks
This is a tremendously difficult task for Ding because of his illness. Many friends and neighbors persuaded Zou to allow Ding to quit.
"Using chopsticks is a must-do for Chinese people. If he is the only one who does not use chopsticks at the table, people will get curious. And then he has to explain to everybody that he has cerebral palsy, which will surely hurt his self-esteem," said Zou, under whose strict guidance for over a year, Ding finally learned how to use chopsticks.
Holding a pen
Zou taught him to draw some shapes with thick-bodied pens by holding his hand, and then gradually changing to thin pens.
But Zou neither helped Ding with his homework nor forced him to participate in training courses.
"My mom's catch-phrase is 'Don't ask me questions about your homework, I'm illiterate,' which I think is also a kind of educational concept," said Ding, adding that his mother was focusing on instilling good habits into him instead of helping him solve concrete difficulties.
Thanks to his mother's intense nurturing, Ding graduated from the College of Environmental Science and Engineering of Peking University, and then enrolled in the Law School of Peking University in the same year.
In March 2016, Ding was admitted by the Law School of Harvard University after working as a lawyer for a year.
"I've never dared to apply for Harvard University, but my mom always encouraged me to give it a try. Whenever I hesitate, she is always there guiding me," said Ding.
In terms of educating children, Zou thinks parents should respect their children while at the same time being prepared to learn new things themselves.
Zou has always treated Ding as an equal and likes to discuss important decisions with him.
"A lot of parents show strong ability and eloquence at work, while they turn bewildered when it comes to educating children, either spoiling the kids or lacking patience, failing to discuss with their kids in an equal and earnest way. My mom convinces me with arguments and stories when we have different opinions," said Ding.
"Ding Zheng's mother is one of the most patient parents I've ever seen, with so many methods to communicate with and enlighten her son," said Xie Yingshui, Ding's head teacher at Hubei Wuchang Experimental High School.
Even though Harvard University has provided financial aid accounting for three quarters of Ding's tuition fee, the remaining quarter poses a huge burden for this single-parent family.
"When I was a kid, I had been expecting to achieve some success when turning 30. Now, I'm 29, still financially relying on my mom. I want to work harder and make enough money to guarantee my mother a better life," Ding said.
Source: Xinhua