Words left unsaid and deeds left undone | Chitchat

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No one likes having regrets, yet they are an inseparable part of our lives. Just like the enduring beauty of the statue of Venus, it is imperfection and regrets that make life a colorful experience.

Reading through your comments for last week's Chitchat topic left us with mixed feelings. We were moved by the stories about family and friends, the detailed descriptions and sincere confessions. Yet we were also inspired by the optimism that flowed between the lines.

Let's take a look at the stories our readers shared with us.

Some readers regretted not saying "I love you" at the right time.

@英子

I had a crush on a guy and loved him for five years, but I didn't have the courage to tell him, and now we are strangers. There are lots of misunderstandings between us, and I missed the only chance to explain them away.

@西域舌耕

The moment I read the title, the floodgate of my memory cracked open. Back in 1982, at the age of twenty, I began to teach my first batch of students in a remote village, most of whom were two or three years younger than me. Therefore, I saw them as my brothers and sisters. Among them, a girl stole my heart with her charming smile, nightingale-like voice, and ever-raising grades. However, not wanting to be an intruder to her life, I buried this love in the bottom of my heart. Even when she was admitted to Jiangxi Normal University and was about to leave, I still didn't tell her. On January 1, 1986, the miseries of my unrequited love became unbearable. I fled to another city with a broken heart where I continued to teach and send thousands of students to the university.

In 2016, we found each other on WeChat, and she thanked me profusely for taking good care of her at school. She later blamed me for hiding my emotions and not letting her know. I said such decision made me regret profoundly, but I was satisfied knowing that a promising career lay ahead of her. On June 15, 2017, we finally sat face to face again and enjoyed the pleasures of reminiscence. Thirty-three years have passed.  For me, life is back on the right track, and what left between us is a pure friendship. 

@冰 蓝

Missing the chance to start a relationship in my twenties has me regret awfully. Now l am 30+, still single. To make it worse, now there are more factors to consider when choosing a husband. 

Some thought enjoying life deserves more commitment than a job.

@Skipper

I regret giving priority to a job and not enjoying life to the fullest when I was younger. Everyone should "DOWUTCHALIKE", as Digital Underground said back in the early 90's.

Some wondered whether they should have chosen another major at school.

@袁燕萍YYP

Up till now, I regret that I applied for medical school four years ago. Endless classes, endless exams, and a long way to go before becoming a real doctor. I would be in my thirties after finishing residency.

@D3YH

I chose to major in social science at college because I was done with math. Given another chance, I would make myself a geek of natural science. Maybe even a doctor. 

There are also regrets that don't have a solution.

@Melissa珠

In 2013, a schoolmate sent me a message, saying that my English teacher in senior high was expecting a call from me. I said ok but didn't carry out my promise because I had no idea what to say when picking up the phone. We hadn't contacted each other for eight years. Later in 2013, the same schoolmate broke the bad news to me. Our teacher died of cerebral hemorrhage. For a few minutes, my mind was blank. I am not able to forgive myself, and I wish I had a chance to make up for my mistake.

@凌翼

I used to have a kind neighbor. Every afternoon, the old man would sit on a chair in his yard. When I passed by, he would turn his head to me with a warm smile, but I was too shy to say anything to him, even a "hello." One day the chair was empty, and someone told me he passed away. I lost the chance forever. Maybe it sounds trivial to others, but I sincerely regret not telling my neighbor how kind he was while he was alive. 

But rare is perfect happiness --

The moon does wax, the moon does wane,

And so men meet and say goodbye.

I only pray our life be long,

And our souls together heavenward fly!

（人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。）

@A durable thread

When my lovely father wanted me to come home for my birthday party, I didn't realize he was diagnosed with fatal cancer. Hence I insisted on my training course and missed the most precious chance with his company, which became my lifelong regret. If I had known his condition, I would have changed my mind to tightly mastering his last minute. 

Regrets tell us what we are supposed to be in the future.

@Carol

I regret being too shy and reserved in middle school. I could have made more friends and had much more fun, instead of being confined to my small social circle.

@小怪兽

I am afraid of interacting with people, whether strangers or family members. I never tell anyone what my thoughts really are. As a result, when my friends complain to me that they don't actually know me, I feel hurt. I want to hug my family, friends, and anyone who lent me a helping hand. I'll treat all of you better.

However, whatever costs they paid, some choose to live in the present and make peace with their regrets.

@远方

Being buried in the feeling of regret may stop our step toward in some degree. With the result of the Gaokao still lingering, those who didn't make most of their potential might ask, what if I had studied harder? I say just let it go. Now you are about to enter a new phase in life. Embrace and enjoy this moment, and do your best to leave no regrets from now on.

@GodFather 

I don't regret anything in my life. I'm not perfect, and I don't intend to be either. Any decision I made in the past, whether good or bad, has made me who I am today.

@Alex李可

Life is too short to be unhappy. Do it or not, you will always have something to regret. I learned to live with it.

It is human nature to hash over old mistakes. They are the price we have to pay on our way to wisdom and maturity.

Some regrets may be irreparable,

but it's certain that you can make up for some if you act instantly.

Editors: Shorlin, Guo Shuang (intern)

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