Fools rush in where angels fear to tread丨CD Voice
I couldn't quite believe my ears when I first heard the news. Dragons aren't mythical beasts, they've found one in Peru. It was hidden in the jungle, far away from view but they're taking it to Paris now, to put it in a zoo.
Pity the poor dragon, oh what a hullabaloo!
(And if you believed any of that, then I guess the joke's on you.)
Yes, it's that time of year again. April, the month of mirth and merriment. Back home in the UK, we call the first of this month "April Fool's Day".
It's an annual celebration that dates back to at least the 17th century and likely originated somewhere in continental Europe, according to Alex Boese, author of The Museum of Hoaxes: A History of Outrageous Pranks and Deceptions.
The tradition lives on today in the form of practical jokes played on unsuspecting victims. Newspapers and other media outlets also get in on the fun by spreading silly spoofs on April 1.
Usually, these stories feature something fairly fantastical or even outright absurd, such as the infamous "spaghetti-tree hoax" broadcast by the BBC in 1957.
At that time, pasta was a something of a novelty in Britain and many were unaware of its exact provenance.
Hundreds of the program's viewers were thus fooled into thinking it grew on trees, with a large number even phoning in the next day to ask for more information on cultivating their own spaghetti.
Hence my little ruse about the dragon at the beginning of this column. It was a nod of the head, if you will, to hoaxers far greater than I. I put it in verse to make it clear that something was the matter, and by the final stanza all should have been cut and dried.
You see, my biggest concern this month isn't with fooling other people. On the contrary, it's with not making a complete fool out of myself.
Because on April 15 I'm scheduled to give a speech on stage in Hangzhou, as part of a series of talks organized by China Daily called Vision China.
The only problem is, I've never really given a speech to a capacity crowd before. In fact, the closest I've come to that kind of public speaking was probably at my wedding reception back in November and even then, among friends and family, I was shaking like a leaf.
I have heard it said that the real trick to addressing an audience lies in looking past the forest of faces, picking out two or three individuals and speaking directly to them.
Which no doubt is sage advice, if a little hard to follow. Especially when I've got a PowerPoint presentation to worry about and the whole thing's on a clock.
But I'm hoping that preparedness will be what gets me through in the end. So I'll knuckle down and practice, and if worst comes to worst, at least it's not going to be broadcast live online.
Oh wait, it is? Damn.
About the broadcaster
Greg Fountain is a copy editor and occasional presenter for China Daily. Before moving to Beijing in January, 2016 he worked for newspapers in the Middle East and UK. He has an M.A in Print Journalism from the University of Sheffield, a B.A in English and History from the University of Reading and a Basic Food Hygiene Certificate from a pub in South Yorkshire.
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