The post-90s generation is already getting divorced, despite its youngest members not even being old enough to marry yet.
That's according to a recently released report from the Supreme People's Court, which found marital disharmony to be the No 1 reason for divorce among those age 28 and under.
Incompatibility of temperament was often cited, with a number of divorce cases triggered by seemingly trivial things.
1
Discord with the in-laws
Yang and Jun are members of the post-90s generation who married in October 2017. Afterward, they went to Europe on honeymoon. But they didn't go alone. Jun's mother had asked to accompany the newlywed couple, as she didn't think they'd be able to look after themselves.
The pair consented and all three of them headed abroad, though it wasn't long before friction began to build between Yang and her mother-in-law. The blushing bride had wanted to shop till she dropped and buy as much as she pleased, yet every time she had an armful of shopping bags, her mother-in-law got upset. Jun, for his part, would always take his mother's side.
"How dare my husband call me a shopaholic! Especially when his mom bought just as much as I did! I could no longer tolerate seeing him holding his mom's things, while I was always left to carry my own bags," Yang said.
Instead of their honeymoon being a time for them to do whatever their hearts desired, Jun's mother ended up making all the decisions, according to Yang.
"My mother-in-law decided everything; where we went and what we ate. Jun never rejected one of her proposals. All he would do was comply with his mother's will. He is a mama's boy who doesn't think for himself, which makes me uncomfortable," she said.
The honeymoon ended ahead of schedule, following a furious argument over a pair of luxury curtains. Yang returned to China alone and filed for divorce with her mother's support.
2
Having kids too young
So-called shotgun weddings, into which one or both partners are forced, are often arranged because the bride is pregnant.
Weddings of this type are becoming more common in China, according to Yang Peipei, a lawyer from Harbin Borun Law Office. She said that in 2017, three out of every five divorce cases she saw concerned the fallout from a "shotgun marriage".
Take Zhang and Ying, for instance, who were both born in 1993. They were classmates in college, graduated in the same year and decided to move in together after both finding jobs in Harbin. Not long afterward, Ying conceived and the pair quickly married, with their parents making all the arrangements.
However, it soon became clear that Zhang wasn't mature enough to be a responsible husband and father, according to Yang the lawyer. The young man did little to help his wife through her pregnancy and fooled around as if he was still single. This only got worse when Zhang's mother came to live with them following the child's birth, causing Zhang to regress further into a childish state.
They divorced soon afterward, leaving Ying to care for their 2-year-old child alone.
3
"Shaking" for a wife on WeChat
WeChat's "Shake" feature is designed to help people make new friends, by connecting nearby users who are also using Shake.
Last summer, 22-year-old Gao had broken up with his girlfriend. Finding himself alone and lonely one night, he took out his phone and started to Shake. He was connected with Huan, a saleswoman working in a nearby bar. They went for a drink, got to know each other and soon hit it off.
In no time at all, Gao had asked Huan to marry him and she immediately agreed, though it would later emerge that he only really proposed to get back at his ex-girlfriend.
The pair's relationship was fraught with disagreements, a symptom of Gao's lack of compassion butting up against Huan's sensitive and insecure nature.
One time, Huan had asked for vanilla ice cream from the store, but Gao brought home another flavor instead because vanilla was sold out. Huan reacted by crying, throwing the ice cream on the ground and telling Gao that he no longer did what she asked now that they were married.
After a number of such disputes, Gao told Huan he couldn't bear her anymore. They were divorced after only half a year of marriage.
Most of the post-90s generation were born into comparative wealth and yearn for a happily married life, yet lack the ability to manage their own affairs or craft meaningful relationships with their parents-in-law, according to Xu Lei, a marriage and family consultant.
She says many couples at this age are both psychologically and economically dependent on their parents for help with things like childcare and even paying the mortgage. Because of this, the couples' disputes can sometimes devolve into all-out family warfare that drags in parents from both sides.
To prevent this, the post-'90s generation should take marriage more seriously.
❶ Don't rush into anything and it's better to wait until both partners are ready to take on the responsibility of marriage.
❷ Parents should stop intervening so that their children can learn to fend for themselves and manage their own lives.
❸ Marriage can only become an unbreakable bond once both partners understand what they are getting into and are ready to face the challenges of married life.
Click here for audio and translation of the story
Source: Xinhua
Editors: Zhang Xi, Jiao Jie
Intern: Shen Zheyuan
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