Burgers, burgers, burgers. Is there truly a better self-contained meal out there? We're increasingly spoilt when it comes to the number of vendors in Beijing willing to try something new, experimenting with a food form that can be as simple or as complex as the mind allows but rarely the worst thing that has passed our lips in the ___ years we've been alive.
So bustling is the capital's burger scene that we're now struggling for a big enough space to hold the 40 vendors that'll join us on the weekend of Jun 16-17 at Galaxy Soho, during what will be our sixth annual Burger Festival (scan the QR code in the poster above to buy tickets).
And while we don't have any science to back-up why burgers are so damn tasty (a hunch tells us it's something to do with the dripping, juicy meat, the squishy, doughy bun, and tangy, vinegary sauce), essential research – by none other than our zany Japanese brethren – has gone into how best to actually hold a burger so that none of it goes to waste. Without further ado, the ultimate burger grip:
Now that that's out of the way, below are just a handful of some of the more creative, mammoth, and stupendous options that'll have you salivating at this year's festival alongside the usual suspects like Q Mex, Home Plate, Slow Boat, and Great Leap, i.e., the perfect subjects upon which to practice your newly learned burger moves (see the vendor list as it currently stands at the bottom of this post).
"A donut, a cheeseburger, and a rasher of bacon walk into a hutong. After getting stuck behind a taxi cab and a trike stacked with cardboard, they get bored and decide to get frisky." Or at least that's the story Andy Horowitz tells when he describes his donut cheeseburger, a beautiful American blend that can be ordered either as two grilled half-donut buns, or topped on the cheeseburger inside normal burger buns.
Billy's, who have built a loyal following across Beijing courtesy of their fluffy cuts of battered fish and authentic thick-cut chips, one-up themselves with this pairing of the two: Meet the Fish 'n' Chips Burger, stacked with a beautiful fillet alongside a generous helping of chips (go on, throw some on top for the real chip butty experience – the Queen would be proud).
If you're more of a crustacean person, Common Burger from Arcade by Hatchery go all-out with their Uncommon Crab Burger (they're not lying). We're not even sure how they make this bad boy but we do know that it's soft crab molded into a legit crab shape being crispified in the deep fat fryer. From there, they've added sesame slaw, jalapeno mayo, and coriander to a sesame bun for a burger we're not entirely sure how to eat (sorry science, you lose this one). Expect to see us taking notes on drool-coated notepads at their booth.
Eschewing whackiness in favor of good ol' straight American burger-style values, LA's Fatburger combines a hulking patty with an avalanche of melted cheese and some much-needed fiber courtesy of a thick wad of shredded lettuce. It may not be pretty but who said burgers were meant for ogling?
Hulu, the newest outing from Beijing's much-lauded TRB team, are a relative newbie to the burger scene. Despite its lavish upbringing in the shadow of their well-to-do sister restaurant, Hulu still manages to get down and dirty with the plebs thanks to their set of three mini beef sliders, each stacked with a smoky patty, gooey Emmental cheese, tomato, purple onion, and romaine lettuce for a decidedly indulgent experience.
Bodensee Kitchen, Chaoyang's primo haunt for a slap-up Bavarian meal, have exploited what they know best, the bread of Bavaria itself, to create this Pretzel Burger. Between the buttery pretzel bun sits an Australian beef patty, grilled bacon, grilled onions, Swiss Emmental cheese, German-style gherkins, and a smoky thousand island sauce that'll have you licking your fingers clean.
Joe's Bar and Kitchen has opted for the sweet gratification that can only come from two grilled and succulent chicken breasts covered in cheese and plonked between a grilled brioche bun. Depending on the situation, sometimes burgers taste best when they're not tinged with regret.
Certainly not your run-of-the-mill combo, Mr. Eel has done something that I don't think they would mind us saying is a little odd: they've paired eel and kabayaki sauce with – wait for it – cheese, a slice of pineapple, and a beef patty. If that's not enough to have your taste buds doing loops, then just wait until the cocoa buns grace your palate. This concoction may very well spell a new beginning for the Burger Fest as we know it and will certainly be "an irresistible magic taste," as Mr. Eel describes it himself.
If that's got you in the mood for burger love, then simply scan the appropriate QR code below to bag yourself an advance ticket for a mere RMB 17. Buying ahead of time for Jun 16-17's event will also get you a special Burger Festival branded bandana (more on that here).
The vendor list as it currently stands is:
3 Little Pigs by Andy's Craft Sausages
Billy's Fish & Chips
Bodensee Kitchen
Boxing Cat Brewery
Brewonly
Caravan
CHEE(R)S Burgers
Common Burger @ Arcade by Hatchery
De Refter
Drinking Buddies
East Hotel
FATBURGER
Flora Steak and Bar
Four Ace
Great Leap Brewing
Homeplate
Hot Beer Brewing
Hulu
Jay Dream Factory
Joe's Bar & Kitchen
Joe's Café
Laker's
Legend Beer
MR. EEL'S LOVE
Nbeer
Panda Brew
Peiping Machine Taphouse
PictureMyCup burger at KIMO kids café
Pinvita
Pop Up Kitchen
Punjabi Indian Restaurant & Cultural Center
Pushers
Q Mex Bar & Grill
QS
RegainElement
Side Street Bar & Grill
Slow Boat Brewery
The Bell
The Butchers Club
The Great Outdoors
TOUGH TONGUE CRAFT BBQ
URBREW
V Sports
Zeffer
Images: YouTube.com, Kotaku.com, courtesy of the vendors
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