你是谁? Mastering the Mind-Boggling World of Chinese Kinship Terms
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If meeting someone's family for the first time wasn't intimidating enough, here in China you also have to navigate the minefield of kinship terms. There is a seemingly neverending list of specific denominations for almost every position on the family tree, so complicated that even Chinese people sometimes struggle to remember the correct moniker.
Why is it so complicated? Largely because to figure out the proper way to address a family member in Chinese, you need to take several different factors into account, from the fairly obvious such as generation and gender, to the more complicated, like whether the individual is from the maternal or paternal side, whether they are a blood relative or an in-law, as well as the person’s age.
Look complicated? This is just the beginning...
The payoff of knowing your wàipó from your nǎinai is that not only will you score some major brownie points, and extra servings of their delicious grub, because addressing family members by the correct kinship terms is seen as an important gesture to show your politeness and respect, especially among the older generation.
Before we get into the nitty-gritty, we should add that if you're ever unsure about a person's relation, you can address them respectfully in general terms according to estimated age. As a rule of thumb, refer to your older contemporaries as 哥哥 gēgē and 姐姐 jiějiě, 45 and up as 叔叔 shūshu and 阿姨 āyí, 70 and up as 爷爷 yéyé and 奶奶 nǎinai. Of course, if you're unsure, a simple 你好 nǐ hǎo will do, lest you overestimate someone's age and offend them!
爷爷 yéyé grandfather on father’s side
奶奶 nǎinai grandmother on father’s side
外公 wàigōng grandfather on father’s side
外婆 wàipó grandmother on mother’s side
爸爸 bàba father
妈妈 māma mother
哥哥 gēgē older brother
弟弟 dìdì younger brother
姐姐 jiějiě older sister
妹妹 mèimei younger sister
伯伯 bóbo father’s older brother
叔叔 shūshu father’s younger brother
姑夫 gūfū father’s sister’s husband
姨夫 yífū mother’s sister’s husband
舅舅 jiùjiu mother’s brothers
姑妈 gūmā father’s older sister
姑姑 gūgū father’s younger sister
姨妈 yímā mother’s older sister
阿姨 āyí mother’s younger sister
伯母 bómǔ father’s older brother’s wife
婶婶 shěnshen father’s younger brother’s wife
舅妈 jiùmā mother’s brother’s wife
堂哥 táng gē father’s siblings’ son who’s older than you
堂弟 táng dì father’s siblings’ son who’s younger than you
堂姐 táng jiě father’s siblings’ daughter who’s older than you
堂妹 táng mèi father’s siblings’ daughter who’s younger than you
表哥 biǎo gē mother’s siblings’ son who’s older than you
表弟 biǎo dì mother’s siblings’ son who’s younger than you
表姐 biǎojiě mother’s siblings’ daughter who’s older than you
表妹 biǎomèi mother’s siblings’ daughter who’s younger than you
Having fun?
侄子 zhízi brother’s son
侄女 zhínǚ brother’s daughter
外甥 wàishēng sister’s son
外甥女 wàishēngnǚ sister’s daughter
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公公 gōnggōng husband’s father
婆婆 pópo husband’s mother
岳父 yuèfù wife’s father
岳母 yuèmǔ wife’s mother
姐夫 jiěfū older sister’s husband
妹夫 mèifū younger sister’s husband
嫂子 sǎozi older brother’s wife
弟妹 dìmèi younger brother’s wife
大舅子 dàjiùzi wife’s older brother
小舅子 xiǎojiùzi wife’s younger brother
大姑子 dà gūzi husband’s younger sister
小姑子 xiǎogūzi husband’s younger sister
大姨子 dàyí zi wife’s older sister
小姨子 xiǎoyízi wife’s younger sister
Congratulations! You made it this far. Unfortunately, the mental gymnastics are not over yet! Adding to the already messy business of family names is the Chinese tendency to have different terms depending on which region you're in. For example, 姥姥 lǎolao and 姥爷 lǎoyé (more common in the south) as alternatives for 外婆 and 外公, respectively; 伯父 bófù as an alternative for 伯伯; 姑父 gūfù as an alternative for 姑夫; and 舅母 jiùmǔ as an alternative for 舅妈.
Brain's like...
There's also the problem of what to do when those relatives have siblings. Luckily, this portion is less complicated – see it as the icing on the cake which you now very much deserve. Refer to the oldest sibling by adding 大 dà (big) in front of his/her title, followed by 二 èr (second), 三 sān (third), or 四 sì (fourth) etc. to the rest, depending on the order in which they were born.
Still here? We've got one final question to test whether you've truly got this pegged: how should you address your mother’s dad’s third elder brother? Post your answers below!
Photo: Written Chinese, Pixabay, Giphy.com
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