Celebrate the Loneliest Xmas Ever With KFC's New Turkey Burger
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Turkey is a meat that has so far, largely been ignored by Chinese consumers. However, that may be starting to change: the local adoption of the US holiday Thanksgiving and the proliferation of turkey dinners at five-star hotels and local Western restaurants has finally introduced the big, fiery bird to local palates. Additionally, it's having its day in the sun in the fast-food world now that KFC has gotten its greasy fingers on some of the Thanksgiving leftovers. Enter, the Hand-Pulled Turkey Chicken Burger:
Touted as part of their special Christmas menu, available at stores through Dec 26, KFC’s Hand-Pulled Turkey Chicken Burger is once again being peddled by androgynous, of-indiscernible-talent celebrity “fresh meat” KFC poster boy Lu Han who is so fresh-faced he's clearly never eaten a KFC burger in his life.
Such a pretty boy with such a sad Christmas dinner
Aside from the inclusion of this turkey-topped travesty, the holiday menu also features what looks like buckets of the same chicken they usually sell but this time with a special cardboard Christmas hat (yum!) and a special croissant filled with salty egg yolk and dusted with pork floss (Christmassy!). Sadly, we were unable to try the latter item because it's only available for breakfast (6-9.30am).
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But turkey burgers are the feature, and they did not disappoint... if you were hoping to have the Loneliest Christmas Ever. First, a surprise for those who didn't read the fine print: it is not in fact a turkey burger. It’s a fried chicken burger with some turkey on top.
The heaping of shredded turkey meat featured in the advertising amounted to nothing more than a few scraps in real life, making it reminiscent of week-old post-Thanksgiving turkey carcass devoid of the choicest cuts.
Let's play a game of find the turkey
Worse yet, the brown sauce coating the turkey scraps was not gravy – as we were secretly hoping – but rather run-of-the-mill barbecue sauce, which had the net effect of disguising any actual turkey flavor one may have been able to detect from such a measly portion.
It also comes smothered in a KFC-mandated top layer of mayonnaise and another smear of some spicy orange mayonnaise-like substance on its underbelly. Sad little grill marks on the otherwise generic bun self-consciously seal the deal.
If this is what Christmas looks like to you, seek help
All in all, the Hand-Pulled Turkey Chicken Burger is the perfect meal for you this holiday season – if you're looking to wallow in self-pity. Just think what a selfie featuring you eating this burger on Christmas Eve, alone at your local KFC, may do for you: it may motivate your parents to send money for your next flight home, or at least prepare a half-decent care package.
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