"Sorry, I Don't Understand": Chatting With a Beijing Taxi Driver
Picture this: The car pulls up as waimai drivers
do their best to impede you from opening the door, but you succeed
anyway. You choose the back seat because everyone wants to feel special.
The door closes with a bit of panache – it’s been one of those days –
and the driver looks at you through the rear-view mirror with nonchalant eyes to confirm your number.
You nod, uncertain you
understood anything he said, and before you can even pull out your phone
and sink into the reassuring caress of the digital world, he asks that
fated question you’ve been haunted by every day as a foreigner: 你是哪个国家的人 nǐ shì nǎge guójiā de rén (Where are you from)?
Face
it, Beijing drivers are a chatty bunch, and they’ve been known to ask
some outright strange questions. They have good intentions and are
genuinely curious, but the next time a driver asks 你的工资是多少 nǐ de gōngzī shì duōshǎo (How much is your salary)? I might just have a conniption. In this circumstance, it’s polite to indulge them.
Beijing cabbies (and some Didi drivers) are notorious for their eagerness to converse with passengers
They
mean no harm and just want to know every detail of your finances. So,
grit your teeth and let it fly. There are two options here: politely
decline to answer with a cheeky tone – 这是一个秘密 zhè shì yīgè mìmì (It's a secret) – or really put it out there and see how he responds, 五万人民币 wǔ wàn rénmínbì (RMB
50,000). It's all in good fun, and they understand the delicate dance
it takes to communicate with a foreigner who barely knows how to count
to 100.
Now that money is out of the way, they'll nod and
understand your answer – whatever it may be – and turn to more pressing
matters: 你喜欢中国菜吗 nǐ xǐhuān zhōngcān ma (Do you like Chinese
food)? Now might be a good time to practice some of the vocabulary
you've loaded on Rosetta Stone but barely reviewed. First, respond in
the affirmative – 我喜欢 wǒ xǐhuān (I like).
No
need to specify what you like; it's implied in the grammar. Now you can
pull out the big guns and impress them with all the Chinese staples: 饺子 jiǎozi (dumplings), 宫保鸡丁 gōngbǎo jīdīng (kung pao chicken), 火锅 huǒguō (hot pot), 北京烤鸭 běijīng kǎoyā (Beijing duck), and don't forget to sprinkle in a bit of 米饭 mǐfàn (rice) just to catch them off-guard. After all, we aren't so different in the end!
Now
that your dinner menu has been established, they might press you on
your marital status, depending on if you're on the wrong side of 25.
It'll come with a wry smile, so be prepared. They might massage this
line of inquiry by asking 你今年多大 nǐ jīnnián duōdà (How old are
you?) just to be polite, but then launch into a full-scale assault on
the nature of your love life. Don't be concerned. Take a deep breath and
say 我结婚 wǒ jiéhūn (I'm married) or 我单身 wǒ dānshēn (I'm single).
A talkative way to get from Point A to Point B
This
should alleviate any stress that has been building up in the car over
your finances. He'll either be able to relate to your marriage or envy
your single life because with an almost 100 percent rate of return all
Beijing drivers are married with children.
Just as the
conversation is beginning to get awkward, you'll arrive at your
destination. From time to time, they may ask 我们可以一起拍照吗 wǒmen kěyǐ yīqǐ pāizhào ma (Can
we take a photo together?) which you'll accept depending on how well
the conversation went. Later that night when you need to get another car
to go home, you'll recall just how invigorating the interaction was.
In
fact, you'll relish the opportunity to repeat it again, and again, and
again, until finally one day you'll grow weary of stock conversations
and chit-chat and develop the habit of getting into a taxi with a
determined demeanor and a single response.
对不起，我听不懂。
Duìbùqǐ, wǒ tīng bù dōng.
Sorry, I don't understand.
READ: Mandarin Monday: Good Morning C, Good Night A, the Year in Chinese Internet Slang
Images: The Beijinger, sinologyinstitute.com, The Nation
advertisement