《天路历程》作者谈如何做妻子（附英文原文）

编者按

妻子应该尊重丈夫为自己的头，因而当在主里顺服丈夫，如同顺服主。但顺服并非容易， 哪些东西会成为女人顺服丈夫的最大拦阻？

圣经告诉我们，妻子要对丈夫负责，她在家中有神所设立的地位与职份，就像其他的家庭成员一样。以下是一些重要的圣经原则：

一
妻子要仰慕丈夫，视他为她的头、她的领袖。

「男人是女人的头」(哥林多前书11：3)，所以「撒拉听从亚伯拉罕，称他为主」(彼得前书3：6)。

二
妻所以妻子应当顺服丈夫，这在主内是理所当然的。

使徒说：「你们作妻子的， 当顺服自己的丈夫，如同顺服主」(以弗所书5：22)，「你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，这在主里面是相宜的」(歌罗西书3：18)，「你们作妻子的要顺服自己的丈夫」(彼得前书3：1)。

倘若丈夫对妻子尽到当尽的责任，那么他对待妻子的方式，就成了活生生的教导，让妻子明白基督如何爱教会；相同的，倘若妻子对丈夫尽到当尽的责任，那么她也成了活生生的教导，让丈夫明白教会当如何顺服基督。「教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫」(以弗所书5：24)。

如果你想要尽到妻子的责任，那你必须先克服一些许多女人共有的罪性：

删除占位符

1不可到处闲逛，与三姑六婆说长道短。

圣经告诉我们，教会中人闲言闲语、背后说人，是不讨神喜悦的，而妻子是教会的表征，更不应该好说闲话、造谣生事。基督喜欢祂的新妇安分守己，留在神的家中，专心仰望神，不要在世界中乱闯，与撒旦打交道；同样地，作妻子的不应在外闲逛，与人闲聊。箴言7：11 这样形容无耻的女人：「这妇人喧嚷，不守约束，在家里停不住脚。」女人应该在家中处理家务，支持她的丈夫；保罗说女人应该「爱丈夫，爱儿女，谨守，贞洁，料理家务，待人有恩，顺服自己的丈夫。」为什么呢？「免得神的道理被毁谤」(提多书2：5)。

2不要唠唠叨叨、逞强好辩。

不管是少女还是妇人，像鹦鹉一样聒噪的，都令人生厌。刚才已经说过，丈夫是妻子的头，正如基督是教会的头；你想想，教会应该对基督唠哩唠叨地说个没完吗？教会应该安静聆听神的教导，还是整天发表自己的想法？保罗说：「女人要沉静学道，一味的顺服。我不许女人 [教训男人，也不许他辖管男人，只要沉静」(提摩太前书2：11-12)。

一个女人在她的一生中只要有一次试着要管辖她的丈夫，都是不合宜的；女人应该在每一方面都顺服丈夫，她在家中的权柄，也应该来自于丈夫。女人应当在丈夫之下，正如教会在基督之下，而这事实上就是女人及教会的荣耀。一个好的妻子「开口就发智慧；她舌上有仁慈的法则」(箴言:31：26)。

3不可身穿性感的衣服，也不可以用性感的方式走路。

这不论是在家中还是在外面，都是邪恶的。在外面，这会对男人造成性方面的诱惑与试探，并且是个坏榜样；在家中，这会让敬虔的丈夫感到讨厌，也会对子女造成不良的影响。所以保罗说，女人应该「廉耻、自守，以正派的衣裳为妆饰」，要以行善为美，「不以编发、黄金、珍珠和贵价的衣裳为妆饰」(提摩太前书2：9-10)。彼得也说：「你们不要以外面的辫头发，戴金饰，穿美衣为妆饰，只要以里面存着长久温柔，安静的心为妆饰；这在神面前是极宝贵的。因为古时仰赖神的圣洁妇人正是以此为妆饰，顺服自己的丈夫」(彼前3：3-5)。

请注意，圣经虽然说女人应当顺服丈夫，但这绝对不代表妻子是丈夫的奴隶！妻子与丈夫乃是同负一轭的，是丈夫骨中的骨、肉中的肉；男人应当爱自己的妻子，如同爱自己的身子，因为从来没有人恨恶自己的身子，总是保养顾惜 (以弗所书:5：28-29)。所以，「你们各人当爱妻子，如同爱自己一样；妻子也当敬重她的丈夫」(以弗所书:5：33)。在家中，妻子是第二个主人，当丈夫不在家时，她就是一家之主了；丈夫在家时，她也有责任管理家务，照顾小孩。这样，魔鬼就无法控告她了。「才德的妇人谁能得着呢？他的价值远胜过珍珠」(箴言31：10；11：16；:12：4)。

选自改革宗季刊《信仰与生活》复刊第四期

作者简介

约翰·班扬（John Bunyan）又名本仁约翰（1628-1688），他出生于英格兰东部区域贝德福德郡的贝德福德，是英国著名作家、布道家。

《天路历程》是他的代表作。这书是用神奇而优美的比喻，说出人类内在和外界的试探与挣扎，令读者发出对人类的同情心和对神的尊敬。约翰曾申明此书乃属寓言性，但并非全是他想象得想来，乃是有神的灵启示。

英文原文：

THE DUTY OF WIVES

by:John Bunyan

But passing the master of the family, Ishall speak a word or two to those that are under him.

And, first, to the wife: The wife is boundby the law to her husband, so long as her husband liveth (Rom 7:2). Whereforeshe also hath her work and place in the family, as well as the rest.

Now there are these things considerable inthe carriage of a wife toward her husband, which she ought conscientiously toobserve.

First, That she look uponhim as her head and lord. 'The head of the woman is theman' (1 Cor 11:3). And so Sarah called Abraham lord (1 Peter 3:6).

Second, She shouldtherefore be subject to him, as is fit in the Lord. Theapostle saith, 'That the wife should submit herself to her husband, as to theLord' [12] (1 Peter 3:1;Col 3:18; Eph 5:22). I told you before, that if thehusband doth walk towards his wife as becomes him, he will therein be such anordinance of God to her, besides the relation of a husband, that shall preachto her the carriage of Christ to his church. And now I say also, that the wife,if she walk with her husband as becomes her, she shall preach the obedience ofthe church to her husband. 'Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, solet the wives be to their own husbands in everything' (Eph 5:24). Now for thyperforming of this work, thou must first shun these evils.

1. The evil of a wandering and a gossipingspirit; this is evil in the church, and is evil also in a wife, who is thefigure of a church. Christ loveth to have his spouse keep at home; that is, tobe with him in the faith and practice of his things, not ranging and meddlingwith the things of Satan; no more should wives be given to wander and gossipabroad. You know that Proverbs 7:11 saith, 'She is loud and stubborn; her feetabide not in her house.' Wives should be about their own husbands' business athome; as the apostle saith, Let them 'be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,good, obedient to their own husbands.' And why? Because otherwise 'the word ofGod will be blasphemed' (Titus 2:5).

2. Take heed of an idle, talking, orbrangling tongue. This also is odious, either in maids or wives, to be likeparrots, not bridling their tongue; whereas the wife should know, as I saidbefore, that her husband is her lord, and is over her, as Christ is over thechurch. Do you think it is seemly for the church to parrot it against herhusband? Is she not to be silent before him, and to look to his laws, ratherthan her own fictions? Why so, saith the apostle, ought the wife to carry ittowards her husband? 'Let the woman,' saith Paul, 'learn in silence with allsubjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over theman, but to be in silence' (1 Tim 2:11, 12). It is an unseemly thing to see awoman so much as once in all her lifetime to offer to overtop her husband; sheought in everything to be in subjection to him, and to do all she doth, ashaving her warrant, licence, and authority from him. And indeed here is herglory, even to be under him, as the church is under Christ: Now 'she openethher mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness' (Prov 31:26).

3. Take heed of affecting immodest apparel,or a wanton gait; this will be evil both abroad and at home; abroad, it willnot only give ill example, but also tend to tempt to lust and lasciviousness;and at home it will give an offence to a godly husband, and be cankering toungodly children, &c. Wherefore, as saith the apostle, Let women's apparelbe modest, as becometh women professing godliness, with good works, 'not withbroidered hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array' (1 Tim 2:9, 10). And as itis said again, 'Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaitingthe hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel: But let it bethe hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even theornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of greatprice. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trustedin God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands' (1Peter 3:3-5).

But yet, do not think that by thesubjection I have here mentioned, that I do intend women should be theirhusbands' slaves. Women are their husbands' yoke fellows, their flesh and theirbones; and he is not a man that hateth his own flesh, or that is bitter againstit (Eph 5:29). Wherefore, let every man 'love his wife even as himself; and thewife see that she reverence her husband' (Eph 5:33). The wife is master nexther husband, and is to rule all in his absence; [13] yea, in his presence sheis to guide the house, to bring up the children, provided she so do it, as theadversary have no occasion to speak reproachfully (1 Tim 5:10, 13). 'Who can finda virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. A gracious woman retainethhonour:' and guideth her affairs with discretion (Prov 31:10; 11:16; 12:4).

下期介绍

谈到妻子对丈夫的责任，很多姊妹会有困惑：我的丈夫不信主，那么，我需要不需要顺服他？顺服依照什么原则和根基？还有姊妹有难处：我的丈夫根本不去承担他做丈夫的责任，那么，我当顺服他吗？怎么顺服？

这些困扰是非常多的姊妹所面临的难题，下期《读“妻子对丈夫的责任”困惑解答》中，约翰班扬将给予回答，敬请期待！

【延伸阅读】

《“圣徒的安息”作者谈如何做丈夫》——请回复：041

《被福音支配的婚姻》合集——请回复：017

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