What are the barriers for foreigners to make Chinese friends ?

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A growing number of foreigners are coming to China for traveling, studying or working. Statistics show that the number of foreign arrivals has increased 11.2 percent in the first half of 2018, compared to the previous year, according to a July report by People's Daily Overseas Edition.

For foreigners in China, an important part of their lives abroad is to interact with local people. But is it easy for them to make friends with Chinese locals? Are there any barriers for them to establish a relationship with Shanghai residents? To glean an insight into these issues, the Global Times randomly interviewed some foreigners in Shanghai. 

Aourelien Petit from France Photo: Xiang Jun/GT

Quite a few

Aourelien Petit from France has been living in Shanghai for years. He told the Global Times that he has quite a few Chinese friends in town. "Because I am working for a Chinese company, I can meet Chinese colleagues. And also my wife is Chinese, so she introduced me to a lot of Chinese friends," Petit said.

Caroline from the Netherlands Photo: Xiang Jun/GT

Caroline from the Netherlands currently lives in Sydney; she was in Shanghai for a business tour. She told the Global Times that she has some Chinese friends in Sydney, and most of them are her colleagues.

Jeff from New Zealand Photo: Xiang Jun/GT

Jeff from New Zealand is a tourist in Shanghai. He told the Global Times that he has quite a lot of Chinese friends back in New Zealand. "A number are through school, and a lot as well through university and work," he added.

Luis (left) and Luz from Portugal Photo: Xiang Jun/GT

Luis and Luz from Portugal are traveling in Shanghai for the first time, and they didn't make any Chinese friends during their trip. Another French traveler in Shanghai Julia (pseudonym) also said she didn't make any Chinese friends during her stay in China.

Almost all the interviewees said they were willing to be friends with any type of Chinese, as long as they were friendly and open. 

"I have a lot of different types of Chinese friends, and they are very nice. I am happy to make any types of friends," Petit said.

"Any types as long as they are friendly and open. I am happy to be friends with them," Caroline said. Likewise, Julia said she was willing to be friends with anybody, except those who are very selfish, and it had nothing to do with nationalities.

But Luz and Luis pointed out they prefer to make friends with young Chinese, as their English level is generally better than older Chinese. "Young people sometimes speak English, or at least they understand some words. But the older people don't, so the language barrier would be more difficult to overcome," Luis told the Global Times.

When asked what types of Chinese they don't like to be friends with, different interviewees gave different replies. 

For example, the French Petit said he doesn't like Chinese that talk too much about material things, such as money and apartments. "I have a lot of [Chinese] friends that speak too much about money, and I am not interested into that," he added. 

As for Caroline, she dislikes being friends with people that are self-centered and less open to be friends with others, and that had nothing to do with nationalities. Likewise, Luis and Luz said they only don't want to be friends with rude people.

Get close to locals

Despite their willingness to be friends with Chinese, some interviewees found it was challenging to get close to local people in real practice. For example, Luis felt it was difficult to make friends in China compared with other countries. 

"Chinese people aren't very open, and most of them don't speak English, so it is kind of difficult to establish a relationship," Luis told the Global Times. "We don't speak Chinese, so we don't talk to them also."

She added that though she saw lots of Chinese people during her trip, she didn't have an opportunity to connect with any of them. "Many local people look at us with curiosity, and some children would say 'hi' to us, but there is no further conversation," Luis told the Global Times.

"The only one or two times they [Chinese people] talked to us were when they wanted to take a picture with us, because we look different," Luz said. "Or sometimes they asked which country we come from, and we said Portugal. But they don't know where Portugal is. So the conversation stops there."

Julia (pseudonym) from France Photo: Xiang Jun/GT

Similar sentiments were echoed by the French Julia and New Zealander Jeff. Both of them thought language is the biggest barrier to make Chinese friends. 

"Most of the Chinese I have met cannot speak English, so it is very difficult," Julia said. Likewise, Jeff said, "I cannot speak Chinese or Cantonese, so it doesn't help."

Jeff added that there is also cultural differences between Chinese and New Zealanders. "New Zealand is very relaxed compared to a lot of Chinese culture. Everything here is very sharp and efficient," he told the Global Times.

As for the French national Petit, he pointed out that the lifestyle at night was the main barrier he encountered while getting along with Chinese individuals. 

"We [French] like to go out late, but most Chinese they don't like to go out late," he told the Global Times. "They like to go eating together, and then go to a KTV and go back home at 8 pm. I like to go to a bar at like 10 pm and come back later."

But he added if the Chinese individuals share similar hobbies and lifestyles with him, it would be much easier to get close to them.

In comparison, some interviewees said it was quite easy to be friends with Chinese. Caroline, for instance, said she just attended a meeting in Shanghai, where she met lots of Chinese people. "I find them super friendly, and it is very easy to get along with them," she said.

While lots of foreigners are frustrated with trying to get close to potential Chinese friends, many Chinese also don't know what to talk about or do when they meet foreigners. So what are some nice tips for cross-cultural ice-breaking?

Tips for ice-breaking

The interviewees suggested some good topics and activities for ice-breaking. For example, Petit said traveling or doing sports together were ideal activities to connect with foreigners. 

Julia thought having a drink or having lunch together were typical ways for ice-breaking. 

"Perhaps they [Chinese people] could offer their help to foreign tourists, like going with them to some tourist sites or taking them to some restaurants," Luis said, adding if Chinese people could proactively introduce local history and culture to foreign tourists, this could quickly build up a bond with foreigners. 

As for topics for conversations, Petit said any normal topic was okay, but Chinese people should avoid talking about work, money and apartments with foreign friends.

Additionally, Caroline thought talking about each country's culture would be a nice option to start. "I think it is always nice to learn about culture, the differences between Chinese culture and Western culture," she said. "So I think this is always a good topic if you can share some stuff about things that happen at home."

Source: Global Times

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/1115153.shtml

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