祝自己儿子不幸并痛苦！美国首席大法官演讲到底是反套路鸡汤还是精英阶层虚伪？
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看点 为人父母大都希望孩子平安康健、顺风顺水，但美国首席大法官约翰·罗伯茨最近在儿子毕业典礼上的致辞却出乎大多数人的意料。他祝孩子“不幸并痛苦”，告诉孩子应该以什么样的心态与行动去面对人生中必定会经历的磨难，用一种特别的方式向孩子们传递了正面的价值观。
文 | 郭奉岐 编辑丨闻琛
每年的6、7月份都是繁忙的毕业季，在素来有毕业典礼演讲传统的美国，今年也一连出了好几个“爆款”演讲，其中有以小扎、库克为代表的名人演讲系列，也有以话题搏出位的马里兰大学中国毕业生的现象级事件，只是没想到最近一个“反鸡汤”毕业演讲又一次火遍全球。
如果不是因为受邀到儿子的初中做毕业典礼演讲，关于John Roberts的话题或许还停留在2005年那场令人啼笑皆非的法官提名典礼上。那一年，Roberts被小布什提名为首席大法官，直播期间宣布提名时，Roberts时年4岁的小儿子Jack突然跳出来砸场子，在镜头前手舞足蹈，嗨到忘形。对此，Roberts解释道，儿子跳的不是舞蹈，只是在模仿蜘蛛侠用手嗖嗖嗖发射蜘蛛网罢了。
12年过去了，少年蜘蛛侠即将从卡迪根山中学（Cardigan Mountain School）毕业，2017年7月3日，毕业典礼请来这位美国两个世纪以来最年轻的首席大法官致辞。
不同于其他演讲者，给毕业生们拼命“打鸡血”、“灌鸡汤”，Roberts选择不按套路出牌，在儿子毕业典礼上说了番“狠话”：“我祝你不幸并痛苦”，引来广大注目。
“你们中的大多数人将会去到有女孩儿在的学校——对此我没有任何别的建议了。”John Roberts在儿子九年级的毕业典礼上对一众男孩儿们这样说道。Cardigan Moutain School是一所寄宿制的男校，而对于男校的少年们来说，John Roberts口中“有女孩儿的学校”显然是混合着未知、恐惧与期待的。而从台下成片的欢笑与掌声看来，他成功用这种幽默而意想不到方式缓解了孩子们对于全新环境的惧怕。
而在那之前，他同样用特别的方式向孩子们传递了正面的价值观与思想。
“如今，全美国的初中、高中，以至于大学的毕业典礼演讲者，都在面对着一群没有耐心的毕业生们，不断重复一模一样的演讲词。”John Roberts说。
他认为向前展望并寄予美好的愿望并没有错，但他更愿意看看毕业生们是如何一步步走过来的，以及将会在未来遇到什么，他在演讲中这样说道：
“在未来的岁月中，我愿你时常遭遇不公，那样你就会懂得公正真正的价值。”
“我愿你遭受背叛，那样你就会懂得忠诚究竟有多重要。”
“我不想这么说，但我愿你时不时感到孤寂，那样你就会懂得友人并非召之即来，挥之即去。”
“我愿你时有厄运，让你意识到人生的无常，且理解你的成功并不完全应得，他人的失败也并非完全自作自受。”
“如你将会经历的那样，你失败时，我愿你遭到对手的嘲弄与幸灾乐祸，那样你才能领会到竞争精神的重要。”
“我愿你被他人忽视、冷落，那样你就能学会去倾听他人。”
“我愿你遭受适当的痛苦，那样你就能拥有同情心。”
“而无论你我愿不愿意，这些都必将在你的未来发生。但你是否能从中获益，这只取决于你是否能从不幸中领悟出它们带给你的信息。”
初看这些话，你可能会觉得作为父亲，这未免也太“狠”了吧？与绝大多数毕业演讲者不同的是，John Roberts并没有对未来寄予美好的期望，反而希望孩子们能够在未来经历各种各样的磨难——在他的口中，所有的磨难都将成为孩子们成长的必经之路。而在一连串的愿望之后，他告诉孩子们，其实这些与他的愿望并无关系，它们一定会在未来的某处出现。至于能从中获得什么，则完全取决于个人的领悟与心态了。
是的，这个乔治·布什总统亲自指定的大法官带着一脸温暖又令人玩味的笑意，用这样一种令人意想不到的方式表达了对儿子以及这些毕业生未来的美好祝愿——这是一场令人意想不到的毕业演讲，从始至终都令人感到惊讶。
事实上，这场演讲一开始并没有引起很大的关注，直到上周，华盛顿邮报的一个专栏发表文章，评论道：Roberts首席大法官本年度最好的作品，不是某个案子的判决书，而是在儿子毕业典礼上的致辞。
在那之后，媒体和大众关注到了这场演讲，并几乎全部对其进行了赞扬与高度评价。主流观点认为，John Roberts的本次演讲打破了以往“套路化”的毕业演讲内容，从更加有深度、更现实的层面对于未来进行了预测，同时也告诉了孩子们应该以什么样的心态与行动去面对人生中必定会经历的磨难。比起简单直接的祝福，这对孩子们来说是更加有益处的。
而当绝大多数媒体与群众都一边倒地给予赞美时，也有不同的声音出现在了在社交媒体上：
“正是苦难让人生与世界变得暴力横行。它们绝对不可能成为享受世界美好的先决条件。”
这类观点承认苦难的存在，但并不认为孩子们非要经历千难万苦才能享受世界的美好。对于Roberts的观点表示失望的同时，这类声音中更有一些质疑，Roberts的说法对于九年级的孩子来说是否为时过早。
“对于特权现象的回应，不应该只是显示出对普通人的善意，而应是切身感受普通人的生活，并理解他们看待事情的角度。尽管这场演讲质量很高，说得也没错，但它却十分讽刺地表现了社会精英阶层与互联网文化之间一直以来都存在着的疏离。”
显然，这样的声音是从阶层的角度来评析Roberts的某些观点。在演讲中，Roberts提到了希望孩子们能记住学校中清洁工以及其他普通阶层人们的名字，并与他们打招呼、聊天。
而一些人认为这并不是拥有特权的阶级真正应有的态度，他们认为这是精英阶层用来自我满足的虚伪行为。精英者真正应该做的，是去接近普通人，融入他们的生活，理解他们的观点，而不仅仅是记住他们的名字，或是在每次见面时，带着微笑与他们打个招呼而已。这种声音认为Roberts希望孩子们能去理解普通人的生活，自身却没有意识到应该怎样去做到这一点，这无疑是这场演讲具有讽刺意味的地方。
无论是褒是贬，Roberts的演讲无疑是有新意的。在演讲的结尾，John Roberts念出了鲍勃·迪伦著名的Forever Young的歌词，以此表达了身为一个父亲对于孩子，以及对于所有后辈的美好期望。尽管他在演讲中没有提及，至少我们能从他充满感情的、微红的双眼以及略有些颤抖的嗓音中听出一位父亲的良苦用心：
愿你的心灵永远欢愉
愿你的歌谣永远欢唱
愿你青春不老
文末附上演讲的全部原文以及翻译：
Thank you very much.
非常感谢！
Rain, somebody said, is like confetti from heaven. So even the heavens are celebrating this morning, joining the rest of us at this wonderful commencement ceremony. Before we go any further, graduates, you have an important task to perform because behind you are your parents and guardians. Two or three or four years ago, they drove into Cardigan, dropped you off, helped you get settled and then turned around and drove back out the gates. It was an extraordinary sacrifice for them. They drove down the trail of tears back to an emptier and lonelier house. They did that because the decision about your education, they knew, was about you. It was not about them. That sacrifice and others they made have brought you to this point. But this morning is not just about you. It is also about them, so I hope you will stand up and turn around and give them a great round of applause. Please.
有人说过，雨是天堂里飘落的五彩纸屑。那么显然就连天堂今天都在与我们一起庆祝这场毕业典礼了。在我们开始前，毕业生们，你们还有一件很重要的任务——你们身后坐着你们的父母和监护人。两年，三年或四年之前，他们开着车到了Cardigan，将你们放下来，帮你们安顿下来，然后转身从大门开车离去。这对他们来说是很大的牺牲。他们循着泪珠的痕迹回到了一个更加空旷、更加孤独的家中。他们那样做，是因为他们知道，关于你的教育的这个决定，是关于你，而不是关于他们的。是他们做出的这个，以及其他许许多多的牺牲，让你最终来到了这里。但是，这个早晨不仅是关于你的，也是关于他们的。所以我希望你能站起来，转身，给他们送上热烈的掌声吧！
Now when somebody asks me how the remarks at Cardigan went, I will be able to say they were interrupted by applause.
Congratulations, class of 2017. You've reached an important milestone. An important stage of your life is behind you. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you it is the easiest stage of your life, but it is in the books. While you've been at Cardigan, you have all been a part of an important international community as well. And I think that needs to be particularly recognized.
现在如果有人问我Cardigan的演讲如何，我就能说它被掌声打断了（笑声）。
祝贺你们，2017届毕业生！你们已经到达了一个重要的里程碑，已经结束了人生中一个重要的阶段。我不想成为告诉你这个事实的人，但这的确是你人生中最轻松的一个阶段。你在Cardigan的时候，你也同时是一个重要的国际社区的一员，我认为这是尤其值得认可的一件事。
[Roberts gave brief remarks in other languages.]
（一段其他语言的讲话）
Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’ And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you're going to look forward to figure out where you're going, it's good to know where you've been and to look back as well. And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.
如今，全美国的初中、高中，以至于大学的毕业典礼演讲者都在面对着没有耐心的毕业生们，并且不断重复一模一样的演讲词。他们会说今天只是毕业典礼的一次练习。“这只是个开始，不是结束，你得向前看。”我认为说得很对，但是，我认为如果你想要看看前方将会有些什么，回身看看来路也是必要的。如果你回忆起你第一次来到Cardigan的那个下午，也许你会想起那种孤独。或许也会想起你有点畏惧，有点担忧。然后看看现在的你。你被你称作兄弟们的朋友们包围了，你对于你教育路途上的下一步充满了自信。
It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.
这一切改变的理由是很值得你去思考的。而当你思考原因时，你会充满感激地发现那是因为你教室里的，体育场地中的，以及寝室里的同学。而当你变得越来越自信时，我认为你会感激地发现，这一切不是因为你在任何一件事情上都成功了，而是因为，在你朋友们的帮助下，你并不畏惧失败。当你失败时，你站起来再试一次。然后你又失败了，你又站起来再试一次。如果你又失败了，或许应该想想看做点别的事情了。但让你站在现在这里的，不只是成功，同样也是对于失败的无所畏惧。
Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I'll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will betreated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don't take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you'll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they're going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.
那么毕业典礼的演讲者一般都会祝你好运并寄予你好的希望。但我不会，我会告诉你为什么。
在未来的岁月中，我愿你时常遭遇不公，那样你就会懂得公正真正的价值。我愿你遭受背叛，那样你就会懂得忠诚究竟有多重要。我不想这么说，但我愿你时不时感到孤寂，那样你就会懂得友人并非召之即来，挥之即去。我愿你时有厄运，让你意识到人生的无常，并理解你的成功并不完全应得，他人的失败也并非完全自作自受。如你将会经历的那样，你失败时，我愿你遭到对手的嘲弄与幸灾乐祸，那样你才能领会到竞争精神的重要。我愿你被他人忽视，冷落，那样你就能学会去倾听他人。我愿你遭受适当的痛苦，那样你就能拥有同情心。而无论你我愿不愿意，这些都必将在你的未来发生。但你是否能从中获益，这只取决于你是否能从不幸中领悟出它们带给你的信息”
Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips. The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself. It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don't make any changes. In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’ because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can't be yourself if you don't learn who are, and you can't learn who you are unless you think about it.
那么毕业典礼的演讲者一般也得给你们一些建议。他们会给你们笼统的建议，以及一些有用的小技巧。而最多见的一种意见就是做你自己。对于一群着装完全相同（校服）的人来说，这个意见显得很奇怪。但你的确应该——的确应该做你自己。不过你得理解那意味着什么。除非你是个完美的人，这对你来说都不意味着不做出任何改变。在某种意义上，你不应该做你自己。你得试着变成更好的什么东西。人们说“做你自己”，因为他们希望你能反抗成为他人希望你成为的样子的冲动。但如果你不去了解你是谁，你就没法做你自己；如果你不去思考，你也就没法了解你是谁。
The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it's not a good motto when it's trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is to not to try to live the good life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all.
希腊哲学家苏格拉底说过，“未经检查的人生不值得活着。”而“just do it”或许对一些事情来说是不错的座右铭，当你试着想出你要如何生活的时候，它却并不合适了。而让你生活得更好的重要线索之一，就是不要试图去那样活着。如果你真的不去思考那些关于你的最核心的价值，你就一定会丢失它们。
So that's the deep advice. Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. In the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren't privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don't act like it.
这就是比较深刻的建议了。
那么再给你们一些到新学校之后的建议把。在这几年里，我已经相当了解你们当中的许多人了，我知道你们都是很好的孩子。但你们同时也是拥有特权的年轻人。如果你以前来到这里的时候没有特权，那么现在你有了，因为你来到了这里。对此我的建议是：不要显得你有特权。
When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school. Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don't recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.
You've been at a school with just boys. Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.
当你到了新的学校，看到那些扫落叶的，铲雪的，倒垃圾的人时，走上前去给他们介绍一下自己吧。问问他们的名字，当你在学校里时，用他们的名字来称呼他们。另一个建议是：在路上遇到不认识的人时，笑一笑，看着他们的眼睛说句你好吧。这样做所能带来的最差的结果，也不过是你成为了那个老是跟人微笑问好的年轻人，而这并不是一个糟糕的开始。
你已经在一个全是男孩的学校里上了几年学，你们其中的许多人都会去到一个有女孩儿的学校。对此想必不需要我来多建议些什么了。（笑声，掌声）
The last bit of advice I'll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life. Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope. Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say: ‘I have started at this new school. We are reading[blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I'm enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’ Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys. As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people. Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.
最后一个建议很简单，但我认为能很大程度上改变你的人生。我建议你每周都写一个便笺给某个人。不要写邮件。一张纸上的便笺。这只会花费十分钟。找个大人问问，让他们告诉你邮票是什么。你可以把邮票贴在信封上。还是那句话，十分钟，每周一次。我现在就可以帮你试试，我来口述你第一封便笺的内容。它应该是这样的：“亲爱的（写下一个Cardigan Mountain School中老师的名字）我在新学校的生活已经开始了，我们在英语课上读了________，橄榄球或者足球的训练很难，但我挺享受的。感谢你曾经教授过我。”把它放进一个信封里，贴一张邮票上去，然后寄出去。这对于那些曾经——因为某些我们都无法了解的理由——为了你们而献身来教授中学孩子们的人来说，有着很重要的意义。就像我说着，这只是每周的十分钟而已。在学年结束的时候，你差不多会给40个人写了便笺。四十个人会因为你所做的而感觉有点不同，他们也会因为你所做的而认为你很特别。你上学的时间里，除了他们之外没有人能够得到这样的一些红利（好处）。
Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier. These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They're almost 50 years old. He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They're also good goals for a son and a daughter. The wishes are beautiful, they're timeless. They're universal. They're good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent's lament. It's not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:
建议已经足够多了。我想在最后读一些很重要的歌词。我之前引用了希腊哲学家苏格拉底。而这些歌词则来自于伟大的美国哲学家鲍勃·迪伦。它们差不多有五十年了。当他在旅行的期间想念儿子Jesse时，他把这些歌词写给了他。这些歌词历数了父母对于儿子和女儿可能有的期许。对于儿子或者女儿来说，它们也是很好的目标。这些愿望都很美，很隽永。他们是普遍的。他们是美好而真实的，除了一个：这首歌的标题以及它的副歌叠句部分。这个愿望（青春不老）是父母的挽歌。这不是个好愿望。
那么以下就是鲍勃·迪伦的这些歌词了：
May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young
May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young
May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young
谢谢你们。
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