【见证】一个12岁孩子的生命见证：遇见上帝，学会感恩

文 心然Amanda Li

【编者按】圣经说，教养孩童使他走当行的道，就是到老也不偏离。这是一位12岁孩子的信仰见证：如何在生命中遇见上帝，而学会了感恩生活，感谢他人。个中语言朴实简洁而充满灵性的美，生命的美。通篇用英文表述，现翻译成中文，以飨读者。

我通常不是一个喜欢跟别人分享私人生活的人，但在这里分享却感觉非常自然，因为面对的都是熟悉的面孔。

打我记事起，我就一直确定有一位神。我会做些基督徒基本会做的事情，比如睡前祷告，去教会等等。但是那时这些都是我日常生活的一部分罢了。

我当时没有把跟基督的个人关系作为生活的目标或者目的。我只有在想去教会的时候才去，在没事情可做的时候才祷告。

即使我当时不是一位认真的基督徒，一件特别有意思的事情是我总是假装或想象着耶稣就在我身边，尤其是在学校无聊的时候。比如，我对事情有一个看法的时候我会跟就在我旁边的耶稣谈一谈。你们可能了解到了，我跟神一直有连接，但并没有认真对待过我的信仰。甚至，久而久之，我心生疑虑，我开始怀疑是不是真有一位神。

你们有没有过这样的经历，就是你在梦中正要经历一件极其美妙的事情，但就在这时，你慢慢醒来，发现这只是一场梦。那就是我对神产生怀疑的时候的感觉，好像我很被动，基督太好了，好得难以置信。

就在那时，我妈妈给我报了一个住在那里一周的那种夏令营，名字叫“喜乐营”。在那里我度过了那个夏天里最美好的时光。在夏令营的最后一天，老师们问我们是不是已经真正接受耶稣做我们的救主，如果还没有的话，请举手然后有老师会带你到室外单独交谈。我第一个反应是“当然，我当然已经接受耶稣做我的救主”，但又思想了几分钟后发现自己还在怀疑，然后就立马举了手。一个阿姨来到我跟前拉起我的手，我们走出来走到了一个湖边。我告诉她我的疑虑，我怎样感觉离神越来越远。她给我讲她怎样经历神在她身上所行的神迹，包括她侄子出生时五脏都在身外又怎样经历神的医治。我当时从她的故事里听到的是神存在的明证。我们一起祷告后我就去跟其他孩子们一起玩沙子了。我清新记得当时那种幸福无比的感觉，就因为想着有耶稣在自己的生命中！

回到家后我问妈妈可不可以受洗，因为我再也不想在生命中再有任何怀疑了，我妈妈说要等我长大，所以我今天站在了这里！今年，我还会去“喜乐营”，但是以“CIT”的身份，（Counselor in Training，就是“小老师，小助教”），我因此非常兴奋和期待！

（两年前的）那个夏令营结束几周后我进入六年级，初中的第一年。那年很难，是我人生中经历压力最多的一年，因为突然开始有成绩（ABCD），有作业，有考试，让我压力重重。我几乎每天晚上都祷告学业变轻松些。那一年里就在我们教会，我学到了对于我来说很重要的两节经文，我永远都不会忘记，箴言3:5-6， 你要专心仰赖耶和华，不可依靠自己的聪明，在你一切所行的事上都要认定他，他必指引你的路。这两节经文触动了我，因为我是一个喜欢“独断专行”的人。（比如说），我在学校不喜欢小组作业，因为我总怕组员会拖我后腿，影响我的成绩，虽然他们当然从来不会介意我把事情都做了。

所以，当我学到这两节经文的时候，我终于学会了原来我可以放轻松，而不为这世界将带给我的所有问题担心焦虑。（而且）我意识到不愉快和焦虑只是一种意识形态，我可以在最黑暗的时候仍然选择喜乐。毕竟，耶稣就在我们身边，为什么我们还会揪住不开心不放呢？我知道我们经常听说耶稣就在我们身边，我们经常听说因为这是事实，即使我们在怀疑或者远离他的时候，就像我两年前的时候那样。经历困境只能帮助我们更多地意识到我们有神！我们的每一个问题也是神的问题。目前呢，我给自己定的目标是感恩生活的方方面面，毕竟我们在地球上只有一次活过的机会，我想要一生做一个健康开心的基督徒！我希望我的家人和朋友跟我一样，尤其是我的爸爸。

是的，他（承认）相信有神，但是他不知道做个基督徒跟神有个人关系是怎样的，我一遍一遍地告诉他只有（理性）相信神的存在和收音机里听一些敬拜音乐远不及做一位基督徒（那样的实际）。几年来我真正学会了怎样喜乐，全归功于我们的主耶稣基督！

I’m not usually someone who shares her personal life with others, but here, it feels natural to because of all the familiar facesEver since I could remember, I was always certain that there was a God. I did all the basics, pray before bed, go to church, etc. But back then, it was only a part of my life.

I didn’t see my relationship with Christ as a goal or any of life’s purposes. I would only go to church if I felt like it, and only prayed when I had nothing else to do. Although I wasn’t a very serious christian, one really interesting fact about me was I always pretended Jesus was by my side. Especially in school when I was very bored. For example, whenever I had a comment on anything I would talk to Jesus in my head as if he were right beside meAs you can tell I had a connection with God, I just didn’t treat it seriously.

Overtime, I grew doubt. I doubted whether there really was a God. Have you ever had a dream and you’re about to experience something amazing, but then, you’re slowly waking up and realizing that it was all a dream? That’s exactly what it felt like. I was feeling rushed and Christ seemed too good to be true. At that time, my mom signed me up for an overnight Bible Camp called Camp Joy. There, I had the best time I’ve ever experienced throughout the whole summer.On the last day, all the counselors asked us whether we’ve really accepted Jesus as our savior, and if we haven’t then we should raise our hands and someone would take us outside to talk about it. At first I thought “of course I do.” But I thought about it for a few more moments, and realized that I was still doubting. So, without thinking, I raised my hand. A woman came over and took me by the hand. We walked outside and sat by the Lake. I told her all about my doubt and how I felt like I was drifting away from God. She told me all about her experiences of God’s miracles such as her nephew surviving from being born with all of his organs outside his body! At that time, I realized that there was proof of God. We prayed and I got up to play in the sand with the other kids. I remember feeling so happy with the thought that I had someone like Jesus in my life.When I got home, I asked my mom if I could be baptized because I didn’t want to doubt ever again in my life. She said wait until you’re grow up, and here I am. This year, I’m returning to that camp but as a CIT, which is a counselor in training, so I’m very excited for that.

A few weeks later, I started 6th grade, my first year in middle school. It was a really tough year. I felt the most stress I’ve ever felt in my entire life. All of a sudden, there was grades, homework and tests I was stressing about. I prayed almost every night that school would be less stressful.

During that year, I learned two very important verses in the Bible that I will never forget, right in our church. Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path. This touched me because I am a person who really likes to take things in my own hands. I always disliked working in groups at school because I was worried that my classmates would ruin my grade. Of course, they never minded whenever I did most of the work. So, when I first read these verses I finally felt like I could relax and not stress about all the problems our world has to offer.

I realized that sadness and stress is only a state of mind. I can choose to be happy even in the darkest of times. Why should we all mourn on those unhappy thoughts when we have Jesus right by our side?I know we’ve all heard this a lot, and we’ve heard them a lot because it’s true, Jesus is always by our side. Even when we’re doubting or drifting away like I have. Being in tough situations only helps us realize even more that we have God. Every problem we have, is a problem of God.

Now, my future goals are to appreciate every aspect of my life. We’re only on earth for a lifetime, and I want to live my life as a healthy and happy christian. I also wish this for my family and my friends. Especially my dad. True, he believes there is a God, but he doesn’t know what it’s like to really be a Christian. I keep telling him that believing and playing christian music on the radio is not all there is to being a Christian. Over the years, I’ve really learned how to be happier, and I owe all of this to our Lord Jesus Christ. 

 校 对 | 孟   

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