Shaking the expat blues

As a foreigner living abroad, there are highs and lows to life away from home. When things are great, it’s easy to pinpoint all the reasons you love living in your chosen country, but when things aren’t going as well, it can be difficult to see beyond your difficulties. 

This is why it’s important to sometimes take a step back and appreciate all of the things that China has to offer. Things such as…

All the Things to See

When you’ve lived in China for a while it’s easy to start taking things for granted. Chinese architecture becomes commonplace and the things that you found so interesting in your first few months become mundane to the point where you stop noticing them. 

This can be a good thing, because it’s important to find a routine, but it’s equally important to take a step back now and then to admire the sloped rooves and e-bikes with 7+ water bottles strapped on the back. After all, one day those will be the details that you miss the most about your time abroad. 

It isn’t just the day-to-day stuff that you should appreciate either. I went to Xi’an during the October holiday, and although it was an insane mess of tourists, it also reminded me of something I take for granted in China: the high-speed rail. 

In Canada, taking trains are more expensive than flying, and neither option is fast. Although my holiday in Xi’an was crowded and overwhelming, in Canada I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to travel at all because it would have been too inconvenient and expensive. And of course, China’s countless tourist attractions are also something to appreciate.

The Grandmas

One very big difference between my native country and China is the perception of the elderly. In Canada, they are usually seen as being weak and in need of help, but in China, that’s not really the case. 

Some of the toughest people I’ve met in the far east have been 60+ year old women. 

These women are such a contrast! On one hand, they are tough as nails and will have none of your nonsense.  Every time I see one of these women scolding someone, I can’t help but make sure that I’m on my best behaviour…for fear that they’ll shift their wrath to me!

In contrast to this ‘toughness’ though, they are loving, warm and engaged grandparents who are spending their golden years chauffeuring their grandchildren to and from school. 

I was reminded of this on my way into the metro the other day. A woman was ‘racing’ her 5 or 6-year-old granddaughter into the train. It was late so there weren’t many people at the station, and the kid was bursting with excitement over their game. Grandma let her win, of course, and they both giggled together the whole ride home. She caught me watching them and gave me the biggest smile. I’m sure she doesn’t speak English but a warm smile transcends language. 

And of course, the ‘Dancing Grannies’ are one of my absolute favourite things about China. I swear, one day I’m going to join in with them, because they look like they are enjoying life far more than I do most days!

The Helpfulness of Strangers

I’ll never forget one of my first weeks in Suzhou. I was on my way to work, and suddenly it started pouring rain. I was taking cover under a tree and planning on waiting for the rain to slow down when a woman came over, covered me with her umbrella and motioned for me to go with her. She walked with me all the way to Xinghai square before going on her own way, leaving me dry and grateful.  

I can’t even remember the number of times I’ve had things like this happen to me. I especially love when these sorts of things happen at restaurants. 

Recently I was out for dinner with my husband. The menu was completely in Chinese, but our waiter was patient and determined to help us. Between our limited Chinese, and his dedication, we managed to order our dinner and as each dish came out (and was correct), it was obvious that our waiter’s day had been made. I feel like people here genuinely want to be helpful. At the end of the day, that is a HUGE pro to living here!

So yes, life is difficult sometimes. Yes, I struggle and yes, sometimes I just want to be back at home, eating poutine and sipping a double double from Tim Hortons. But when I start to feel down, I just think of all the little things that I’ve started taking for granted, and I realize…life is good. 

Coming from Canada, Marie has lived in Xiamen and Guiyang before living in Suzhou. This is her fourth year in China. You can also write for NihaoSuzhou. Contact us at [e-mail].

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