“我亲爱的孩子，我们拼命想要救你”

● ●●  加沙战争 | War in Gaza

2023 年10 月 7 日，赫什·戈德堡-波林 (Hersh Goldberg-Polin) 在雷姆音乐节遭遇哈马斯袭击，手臂被炸断并被绑架。目击者确认他被哈马斯武装分子带走，哈马斯恐怖分子的摄像机拍摄的视频记录了赫什、奥尔和埃利亚被绑架的整个过程。2024 年 4 月，哈马斯发布了一段显示他受伤的胁迫视频。

戈德堡-波林夫妇成为最受瞩目的人质家属。和其他家属一样，他们经历了漫长而煎熬的等待。在过去的 10 个多月里，戈德堡-波林夫妇曾会见了美国总统乔·拜登、教皇方济各等重要人物。他们还在联合国和民主党全国代表大会上发表讲话，竭尽全力呼吁释放所有人质。

赫什的母亲在胸前佩戴数字，是为了纪念儿子在被哈马斯绑架后经历的痛苦和漫长囚禁。这个数字代表着赫什被绑架的天数，他们的每一天中都饱受思念的煎熬。

在赫什被绑架的第 330 天，2024 年 8 月 31 日，以色列国防军确认发现包括赫什在内的六名人质被近距离枪击身亡。赫什的葬礼于 2024年 9 月 2 日在耶路撒冷举行。同一天，以色列也爆发大规模游行示威。

数千人参加了葬礼。在葬礼上，赫什的父亲乔恩 谈到了儿子的两个好朋友和同学，其中一个名叫阿纳尔·沙皮拉 (Aner Shapira )，他为了拯救防爆间里的人，向外扔了几枚手榴弹，结果不幸身亡。另一个朋友本·祖斯曼 (Ben Zussman) 于 12 月 3 日在加沙战斗中丧生。

“赫什，我很抱歉，” 父亲乔恩说道，“我们很抱歉。我们失败了，你没有失败。你为我们助力，我们也更加努力，这样你和所有士兵的牺牲就不会白费。我们会把剩下的人质带回家。我们的希望还没有破灭。我们和你在一起的生活是一种祝福，现在我们会努力让你的遗产成为一种祝福。我爱你，” 他说。 

以色列总统伊萨克·赫尔佐克 也在赫什的葬礼上发表了悼词，“亲爱的赫什，今天，我怀着悲痛的心站在这里，作为以色列国总统，向你告别，并请求你的原谅，来自你、来自卡梅尔、来自伊甸、来自阿尔莫格、来自亚历克斯、来自奥里，以及来自所有你所爱的人的原谅。” “我代表以色列国向你道歉，我们未能在 10 月 7 日的可怕灾难中保护你，未能将你安全带回家。我为你在 7 岁时移民到的国家、披着以色列国旗的国家未能保护你的安全而道歉。” 赫尔佐格继续说道：“雷切尔、乔恩、亲爱的李比和奥利、祖父母以及全家人——我请求你们的原谅，原谅我们没能把赫什活着带回家。” 

达尼诺的兄弟阿哈龙说，自 10 月 7 日以来，他就再也没有发现任何微笑的理由。 “在过去的 330 天里，我没有找到任何理由微笑。除了上帝，我没有找到任何可以依靠的东西或可以信任的人。你是这个家的支柱，是你朋友的支柱，也是我自己的支柱，” 他说。 

雷切尔·戈德堡-波林是赫什·戈德堡-波林的母亲，在耶路撒冷的葬礼上发表讲话，哀悼、缅怀儿子，并向他作最后的告别。

“在过去的 332 天里，我有很多时间去想我的宝贝儿子，Hersh。

我总是想着，为什么上帝在全世界那么多妈妈中，选择了让我做Hersh的妈妈。我到底做过什么好事，才值得得到这么宝贵的礼物？那一定是非常了不起的事。

几年前，Hersh和我一起看了几个关于年轻人去世的纪录片，他问我：“为什么每个早逝的年轻人，别人都会说他是最幽默的、最聪明的、最棒的、最帅的？怎么从来没人说，‘我喜欢Max，但说实话，他其实挺笨的，他的幽默感有点问题，还有口臭？’”

实话实说，我也不觉得Hersh是完美的。但对我来说，他就是最完美的儿子。我非常感激上帝，想在这里表达我的感恩，感谢上帝赐给了我这个宝贵的礼物……23 年来，我有幸拥有这个无价之宝，成为Hersh的妈妈。我心甘情愿地接受这一切，并说一声谢谢。只是我希望我们在一起的时间能更长一些。

Hersh，这几个月里，我每时每刻都在为你揪心，心痛得无法言说。这是一种我从未体验过的痛苦。我拼命压抑着对你的思念，因为我怕那会让我崩溃。所以，我花了 330 天，心惊胆战、恐惧不已。这种恐惧让我喉咙发紧，灵魂像是被火烧伤了一样疼。

让我们感到如此痛苦和困惑的一部分原因是，在这条我们家人过去 332 天走过的艰难道路上，发生了一件奇怪的事情。在这无法言喻的痛苦、恐惧、绝望和恐慌中……我们变得非常确信，你会活着回到我们身边。但结果却不是这样。

现在，我不再需要为你担心了。我知道你不再有危险了。你和美丽的阿纳尔在一起；他会带你四处看看。你可能会遇到我的祖父母，他们一定会特别喜欢你，还会和Papa Stan一起下象棋。但现在，我开始为我们担心：爸爸、Leebie、Orly和我。没有你，我们该如何继续生活？

我也祷告，你的离开能成为我们所有人都陷入的这个可怕局势的一个转折点。想到你和Carmel、Ori、Eden、Almog和Alex在一起，我感到了一些安慰。据我了解，他们每个人都有各自的魅力，我想这就是你们六个人能够在那种难以想象的情况下坚持活下来的原因。你们每个人都做了每一件事，为了在我只能称之为地狱的地方生存下来。

我向每个家庭表达我最深切的同情，感谢我们所有人在经历这些痛苦时，依然无法挽救他们的那种无力感。我认为我们已经尽了全力。那种希望能够达成协议的感觉如此真实，几乎触手可及。但最终还是没能实现。这六位美丽的人一起生存了下来，这六位美丽的人也一起离开了我们。现在，他们将永远被铭记在一起。

Hersh，像所有父母一样，爸爸和我常常谈论你将来会成为什么样的人，当你“长大”后会是什么样子，你会做什么，你会长什么样，你会成为什么样的父母。但现在，你将永远是我们美丽的男孩。你将永远充满活力、善良、有耐心、好奇、幽默、无所畏惧、喜欢思考。永远英俊。永远年轻。永远是我亲爱的儿子。

你在短暂的生命中体验了很多东西。这让我感到宽慰。你建立了真正深厚的友谊，你每年夏天都去旅行，开始探索这个世界，你工作，你学习，你阅读，你教书，你服务，你倾听，你甚至坠入了爱河，并拥有了一段超过两年的深厚感情。你和我们分享了那种新体验的喜悦。你迷住了所有与你交谈过的人，无论他们是老人还是年轻人。你以一种只有年轻纯洁、充满理想主义的眼光，来推动正义与和平。你从未对我大声说话。你总是尊重我，即使你选择了不同的道路。

当你从防爆间给我们发来短信时，你说你刚刚看到你的好朋友阿纳尔被杀。你失去了手臂，并以为自己快要死了。你在短信中写道 “对不起”，因为你知道失去你对我们来说将是多么痛苦，所以你努力坚持活了下来……所有的时间。但现在，你已经走了。

此刻，我请求你的原谅。如果我在你的一生中曾对你不耐烦、对你不够关心或忽略了你，我真诚地请求你的原谅。如果有我们可以做的事情来救你，但我们没想到，我恳求你的原谅。我们已经非常努力了。如此深切而绝望地努力着。对不起。

现在，我的Hersh，我请求你的帮助。

当我们将希望转化为悲痛，转化为这种新的、未知的痛苦时，我恳求你，请让你的光芒照耀在我、爸爸、Leebie和Orly身上。帮助我们重新振作起来。我知道这需要很长时间，但愿上帝保佑我们有一天，一天美好的日子里，爸爸、Leebie、Orly和我会再次听到笑声，而当我们回头时，会发现那是我们的笑声。我们会好好的。你将永远与我们同在，成为一股爱与力量的源泉，你将成为我们的超能力。

对于每天都陪伴我们的Dalya、Matt和Richard，我对你们的感激之情永远无法用语言表达。

我要对我们广大的社区成员表达最诚挚、最深切的感谢。正是你们一直支撑着我们，关心我们，为我们祷告，做饭，并在我们最无助的时候扶持我们。

我非常感谢你们，并深表歉意，但我们还需要你们的帮助来度过这个充满痛苦的新篇章。非常抱歉再提这个请求，因为我们没能给你们任何回报，而你们已经给予了如此多的帮助。但我恳求你们，请不要现在离开我们。

好了，亲爱的儿子，现在开始你的旅程吧，我希望它和你梦寐以求的旅行一样美好，因为终于，我亲爱的宝贝，终于，终于，终于，你自由了！

我会爱你，我会想念你，直到我生命的最后一天。然而你就在这里，我知道你就在这里，我只是需要教会自己以一种新的方式感受你。

Hersh，我需要你为我们做最后一件事……现在我需要你帮助我们保持坚强。我需要你帮助我们度过难关。”

悼词原文

向上滑动阅览

I have had a lot of time during the past 332 days to think about my sweet boy, my Hersh.

And one thing I keep thinking about is how out of all the mothers in the world, G-d chose to give Hersh to me. What must I have done in a past life to deserve such a beautiful gift? It must have been glorious.

Hersh and I watched some documentaries a couple of years ago together about young people who had died and he said, “How come everyone who dies young is always said to be, the funniest, the smartest, greatest, the handsomest? Why doesn’t anyone ever say, ‘I liked Max, but you know what? He was pretty stupid, his sense of humor was off and had bad breath?”

I am honest. And I say, it is not that Hersh was perfect. But, he was the perfect son for me. And I am so grateful to G-d, and I want to do hakarat hatov and thank G-d right now, for giving me this magnificent present of my Hersh…. For 23 years I was privileged to have this most stunning treasure, to be Hersh’s Mama. I’ll take it and say thank you. I just wish it had been for longer.

Hersh, for all of these months I have been in such torment worrying about you every millisecond of everyday. It was such a specific type of misery that I have never experienced before. I tried hard to suppress the missing you part. Because that, I was convinced, would break me. So I spent 330 terrified, scared, worrying, and frightened. It closed my throat and made my soul throb with 3rd degree burns.

Part of what is so deeply crushing and confusing for us is that a strange thing happened along this macabre path upon which our family found itself traveling for the past 332 days. Amidst the inexplicable agony, terror, anguish, desperation and fear….we became absolutely CERTAIN, that you were coming home to us ALIVE. But it was not to be.

Now I no longer have to worry about you. I know you are no longer in danger. You are with beautiful Aner; he will show you around. You will hopefully meet my grandparents, who will adore you, and start to play chess with Papa Stan. But now my worry shifts to us: Dada, Leebie, Orly and me. How do we do the rest of this life without you?

I also pray that your death will be a turning point in this horrible situation in which we are all entangled. I take such comfort knowing you were with Carmel, Ori, Eden, Almog and Alex. From what I have been told, they each were delightful in different ways, and I think that is how the 6 of you managed to stay alive in unimaginable circumstances for so very long. You each did every single thing right to survive 329 days in what I can only call Hell.

I send each of the families my deepest sympathies for what we are all going through and for the sickening feeling that we all could not save them. I think we all did every single thing we could. The hope that perhaps a deal was near, was so authentic it was crunchy. It tasted CLOSE. But it was not to be so. Those beautiful 6 survived together and those beautiful 6 died together. And now they will be remembered together forever.

Hersh, like most parents, Dada and I often would talk about who you would become, what you would be like when you ‘grew up’, what you would do, what you would look like, what kind of parent you would be. But now you will be forever our beautiful boy. You will stay energetic, kind, patient, curious, funny, irreverent, pensive. Forever handsome. Forever young. Forever my sweet boy.

You squeezed into your young life a lot of experiences. And that gives me relief and comfort. You made true and deep friendships, you traveled each summer and started to explore the world, you worked, you learned, you read, you taught, you served, you listened, you even fell in love and had a deep true relationship for more than 2 years. And you shared the excitement of that new experience with us. You charmed everyone you ever talked to, old or young. You promoted justice and peace in a way a only a young pure, wide-eyed idealist, can. You never raised your voice to me in your life. You treated me respectfully always, even when you chose a different path.

When you wrote to us from the bomb shelter you had just seen Aner get killed. You had lost your arm, and you thought you were dying. You wrote to us, “I’m sorry” because you knew how crushing it would be for us to lose you, so you fought to stay alive… all this time. But now, you are gone.

At this time I ask your forgiveness. If ever I was impatient or insensitive to you during your life, or neglectful in some way, I deeply and sincerely request your forgiveness. If there was something we could have done to save you and we didn’t think of it, I beg your forgiveness. We tried so very hard. So deeply and desperately. I’m sorry.
Now, my Hersh I ask for your help.

As we transform our hope into grief and this new unknown brand of pain, I beg of you, please do what you can to have your light shine down on me, Dada, Leebie and Orly. Help shower us with healing and resilience. Help us to rise again. I know it will take a long time, but please may G-d bless us that one day, one fine day, Dada, Leebie, Orly and I will hear laughter, and we will turn around and see… that it’s us. And that we are ok. You will always be with us as a force of love and vitality, you will become our superpower.

To Dalya, Matt, and Richard who came to be with us every single day during this Odessey of torture, there will never be enough time or words to express my gratitude to each of you.

And I want to say now the sincerest and most heartfelt thank you to the countless people in our extended community who have held us, cared for us, prayed for us, cooked for us, and carried us when we could not stand up.

I’m so thankful to you, and I apologize deeply, but we will need continued help to get through this sickening new chapter too. I am so sorry to ask, because we have given you nothing, and you have already given so profoundly and completely. But I beg of you all, please don’t leave us now.

Ok, sweet boy, go now on your journey, I hope it’s as good as the trips you dreamed about, because finally, my sweet sweet boy, finally, finally, finally, finally you are FREE!

I will love you and I will miss you every single day for the rest of my life. But you are right here. I know you are right here, I just have to teach myself to feel you in a new way.

And Hersh, I need you to do one last thing for us…. Now I need YOU to help us to stay strong. And I need YOU to help us to survive.

编译：Haleli

素材来源网络

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哈马斯恐怖组织在杀害六名人质后不久，通过国际媒体发声指责以色列，声称以色列政府与国防军应对人质的死亡负责。事实上，除了绑架以色列人和利用加沙平民作为人肉盾牌外，扮演受害者，混淆视听，发动心理战也是哈马斯的战略手段之一。

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