对Chuck母亲的采访

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December 13, 2001 - This date will always be remembered by metal fans with suffering and longing. The founder of Death lost his battle against cancer and nobody could believe it. He was a hero for most headbangers, and heroes don't die, right? Maybe this is not the truth. Chuck Schuldiner is gone and more than a year after his death, we would find that he was a hero not only to his fans, but also to his family. This was the most difficult interview to do ever. I had the idea in mid November and I decided to contact Chuck's mother, Mrs. Jane Schuldiner. She answered quickly as she does with every journalist and also with every fan that Chuck has in this world. We talked for a long time. After sometime, even I started to have doubts as to wheter or not this interview would be good for her (this was so important) and for Chuck's fans. I thought about giving up on the idea and she also thought the same. The end. No interview.

2001年的12月13日，这是个令金属乐迷们悲伤的日子。死亡金属的奠基者输掉了与癌症的战争。对于大多数的乐迷来说他都是个英雄般的存在，而英雄从不死去，不是吗？也许这也不是真理。Chuck Schuldiner已经去世一年多了，我们觉得他不仅对于乐迷来说是个英雄，对于他的家庭也应该如此。这个到现在最艰难的一次采访，我在11月时有了这个想法，并且联系了Chuck的母亲，Jane Schuldiner女士。她很快的给了我答复，就像对于其他所有的记者和Chuck在这个世界上的乐迷一样。我们交流了很久，过了一些时候，甚至我自己也在思考做这样一个采访对她是好是坏，这非常重要，同样，还得考虑到Chuck的乐迷。我和她都觉得应该放弃这个主意。到此为止，没有采访。

After almost a month, nearing the date of Chuck's death, Mrs. Schuldiner sent me a message telling me that she was fine with the interview. But the period of Chuck's death, and also Christmas time weren't very good to Mrs. Schuldiner. So the interview was ready in the first days of January. This was one of the longest interviews and easily the most touching interview ever. Mrs. Schuldiner opened wide her feelings, the history of her family, of her son. The result of our conversations can give you an idea of how Chuck was as a child, a son, a family member, etc. But it also shows who was behind and supporting him all the time. I only hope that this interview was as important to Mrs. Schuldiner as it'll be to Chuck's fans.

过了几乎一个月，接近Chuck去世的日子时，Schuldiner女士给我发了消息说她可以接受采访。但Chuck的忌日和圣诞节并不是适合采访的时候，因此真正的采访在一月份的上旬。这是耗时最长的采访之一了，但同时也是最感人的一次采访。 Schuldiner女士敞开了心扉，讲述了家庭的故事，还有她的儿子。我们谈论的这些内容可以让你进一步了解Chuck作为一个孩子、一个儿子以及作为家庭成员时的样子，也向大家展示了这位站在他背后不断支持他的人。我只希望这次采访对于Schuldiner女士如同它对于Chuck的乐迷们一样重要。

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-How is your life going and how are you a year after Chuck's death?

Chuck去世后的一年里你的生活是怎样的？过得如何？
-J: Life is a daily struggle for me without him, Chuck is profoundly loved and missed in so many ways. He was a very loving and caring son, brother and uncle, spending much of his time doing things with us. We had dinner together most days at his house, he loved to cook and barbque and there were many movies, trips, etc. Our lives were filled with Chuck and it is very empty now, for all of us.

对于我来说，失去他的每一天都非常痛苦，Chuck一直在不同的方式中被深爱与思念着。Chuck是一个非常有爱心并且会为他人着想的儿子、兄弟和叔叔，在家庭中花了很多时间。在他的房子里我们经常一同晚餐，他喜欢做饭和烧烤，同样也有许多电影和旅行等。我们的生活被Chuck充实着，但现在非常空虚，对于我们所有人来说。

-We all know something about what happened. But tell us. How Chuck got when he received the result of the exams telling that he was sick?

我们都知道发生的一些东西。但能否告诉我们，当他接受了(癌症)检查结果时，他是怎样的？
-J: When Chuck got the news of the tumor he was of course upset, but he quickly got into the fighting mode that he stayed in throughout his fight against that tumor.

当得知肿瘤的消息时，他当然是非常失落，但很快的就进入了与肿瘤做斗争的状态。

-Do you remember any moment, word or phrase from him to you or to others after the revelation of the disease?

你是否记得当得知病情后他对你或者别人说的话或者时刻？
-J: When Chuck came into the door of my house and I had to hear those words, I was so devastated. Chuck just put his arms around me and we stood there hugging each other. After I calmed down, his sister, Chuck and I began plans for getting the best help possible. As always, we did it together, as a family.

当Chuck进屋的时候，我听到了那些话，我真的是被打击到了。Chuck张开他的手臂抱住我，然后我们互相紧抱在一起。当我冷静下来后，她的姐姐、Chuck和我开始计划如何能够最大可能的进行治疗和帮助。和往常一样，我们一起完成，作为一个家庭。

-In that time, was music the only thing that involved Chuck to keep going on and fighting? Or did he search for religion or anything like that?

在那段时间里，音乐是唯一支持Chuck继续坚持和斗争的吗？还是说他在找寻着宗教或者别的什么？
-J: What kept Chuck motivated in his fight was his love of his family, his music and the fans, who responded with tons of mail of encouragment. I can't stress enough the role they played throughout the past three years. And still do.

让Chuck能够斗争的是他对家庭的爱，他的音乐和他的乐迷，收到了非常多的鼓励邮件。我无法完全的强调那些贯穿着过去三年里它们的角色，现在依旧如此。

-Do you remember what was Chuck listening to at that time? Any album or artist in particular?

你记得Chuck在那段时间里在听什么吗？具体的专辑或者艺术家？
-J: I know Chuck listened to music frequently during that time, but I do not know the names of the artists. He wore headphones a lot. Chuck never listened to depressing songs, they were about life, much as the songs he wrote. I do know he received inspiration and gratification by the music he listened to, and as always, CDs were always nearby.

我知道在那段时间里，Chuck经常会听音乐，但是我不知道那些艺术家的名字。他经常戴着耳机。Chuck从来不听消极的音乐，那是关于生活，很大程度上就像是他写的歌。我知道他从他听的音乐中获取灵感和满足，如同往常一样，CD总在手边。

-The first album of Control Denied says already a lot in its title, "The Fragile Art Of Existance". Even the lyrics of the songs are very related with what Chuck would live in his next years. It seems like a premonition sometimes. Do you have this same feeling?

Control Denied(Chuck发起的由DEATH成员组建的前卫力量)的第一张专辑在标题中说了很多，“存在的脆弱艺术”。甚至歌词也和Chuch近些年的状况非常贴切，就像是预感一样。你有同样的感觉吗？

-J: No, when that album was written it was well before the time Chuck found out he was ill. It surely is amazing that it did seem to be a premonition, and when someone said that to Chuck , he said there was nothing to it, there was no premonition. Chuck was a philosophical person, concerned about many things he saw and experienced himself, and his lyrics reflected that. Chuck was always in great health throughout his life until this happened.

没有，当这张专辑完成时距离Chuck确诊还有很长时间。它看起来像预感当然很惊人，当有人这样和Chuck说到时，他说这全然无关，没有什么预感。Chuck是个很哲学的人，他关心那些周围发生和经历的事，并且在他的歌词中反映出。Chuck在他的生命中一直是个非常健康的人，直到这件事的发生。

-Talking about Control Denied, do the members still have the idea of completing and releasing the second album, "When Man And Machine Collide"?

说起Control Denied，成员们仍旧有计划完成第二张专辑“当人与机器碰撞”吗？

-J: Chuck had completed most of his part of the new Control Denied album and his bandmates are going to make sure it is completed. That was very much on Chuck's mind and we promised him that we would make sure of it. That album is his last, and it was very, very important to him.

Chuck已经完成了新专辑中他的部分，他的队友们正在确保新专辑的完成。Chuck对这个非常看重，我们也向他保证我们会完成它。这是他的最后作品，对他也是非常非常重要的。

-After Chuck's death and during his treatment we had some really praiseworthy movements by artists, including some unexpected ones like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kid Rock, Korn, etc, besides other more metal names like PanterA, Anthrax, Exodus, etc. Did you have any contact with those artists?

在Chuck去世后和他治疗的时候，艺术家们进行了非常多的值得赞扬的运动，在PANTERA、ANTHRAX、EXODUS等金属乐队之外，还有一些意想不到的乐队，就像RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS、KID ROCK和KORN等等。你和这些艺术家们进行了什么联系吗？
-J: Yes, I did have contact with them, letters and calls, and they spoke of their sorrow for the tragic end of Chuck's fight for life and their admiration for Chuck as a musician. Some of them were in touch with Chuck when he was in recovery the first time in 2001, giving their support, some very nice caring people. In music there is a kinship, no matter what kind of music it is, and when there is a problem or sickness, whatever, they close ranks and support one another. I admire that because it is rare.

是的，我联系了他们，通过信件和电话，他们表示了对Chuck的悲剧的哀痛以及对他作为一个艺术家的赞赏。其中一些在Chuck2001年第一次恢复时有过联系，提供他们的支持，他们是非常好的人。在音乐中就像是有着血缘关系，不论是什么音乐，每当有疾病或者别的发生时，他们都会紧密团结在一起给予帮助。我很佩服因为这非常少见。

-Which were his closest friends in his final days?

在他最后的时间中，谁是他最亲近的朋友？
-J: The people closest to Chuck in his final days were Richard, the drummer in his band, and David, his best friend from 5th grade. Richard was always a good friend and he was there for Chuck throughout his illness, bringing little meaningful presents and sensitivity. He and Chuck always had the same sense of humor and he made Chuck laugh, he lightened all our lives during that time. He has kept in touch and is included in special occasions in our family and is very dear to us.

在他最后的时间里最亲近的朋友是他乐队的鼓手Richard，以及从五年级开始就是好友的David。Richard一直是好朋友，在Chuck生病后一直陪伴在左右，带了一些有意义的小礼物和关照。他和Chuck有着非常相似的幽默感，他总能让Chuck开心，在那段时间中他照亮了我们所有人的生活。他与我们的家庭一直有着联系，并且有着特别的地位，对我们非常亲切。

-Before all this... did you have any idea of how much of an icon Chuck was considered to be and how much he was a representative of a style to the music world?

在这所有之前，你对Chuck的标签印象以及作为一个音乐风格的代表了解多少？

-J: I did know Chuck was a force in his music, but not until he became ill was I aware of how very large that force was, and still is. From the beginning of Chuck's illness there were so many emails, letters, and gifts of support from fans that I had to have help answering them. And when they found out that Chuck was being denied surgery because of lack of insurance, they responded with a roar, sending financial support to help him. They were instrumental in helping Chuck get the medical help he needed. I will always feel close to them for that.

我知道他在他的音乐中是一股力量，但是直到他患病后我才知道这股力量有多么大，并且现在仍是。当Chuck患病的早期，我们收到了非常多的来自乐迷支持的邮件、信件和礼物以至于我不得不帮助回复他们。然后当他们得知Chuck由于缺乏保险而无法进行手术时，呼喊般的回复，送来了帮助他的资金。他们在Chuck接受需要的医疗帮助中起了重要的作用，我一直觉得他们非常亲切。

-Let's get back a bit more. Tell us about Chuck's childhood.

让我们回到更早的时候，说说Chuck孩时的样子吧。
-J: Chuck was a great child, loving and always so good natured that everyone loved him back. I always had to caution him against strangers as a child because he thought everyone was his friend. Chuck played baseball and soccer in school, soccer was his favorite. His grades were always good throughout school, and this may surprise some people, but he always got excellent in conduct. We always camped throughout the years when our children were growing up and Chuck loved it, the woods, and fishing, hiking, he loved it all. We moved to this neighborhood next to the forest when Chuck was two years old and he and his friends spent many hours building forts and treehouses when they were children. Chuck always told me that he had the happiest of childhoods, and he really did.

Chuck是个很好的孩子，有爱心并且有着非常好的天性，每个人也都非常喜欢他。我不得不一直提醒他小心陌生人，因为他把所有人都视作他的朋友。Chuck在学校中玩棒球和足球，他最喜欢足球。他的年级(球队)一直是学校里最好的，这也许会让很多人感到吃惊，他在指挥上一直做的非常出色。当他不断长大时我们一直野营，他喜欢树木、钓鱼、爬山，喜欢这一切。当Chuck两岁时我们搬到森林这附近，当他还小时，他和他的朋友花了非常多的时间建造堡垒和树屋。Chuck总是和我说他有着最开心的童年，他也确实如此。

-When did he get involved with metal? Before this, what did he listen to?

他是什么时候接触金属音乐的？在此之前，他听些什么？

-J: Chuck got involved with music when he was 9 years old. His brother, Frank, was killed in an accident. They were so close and Chuck was devastated, so we bought him a guitar and took him for lessons. He loved playing but got tired quickly of the lessons, and continued playing on his own. He heard Kiss play and they were his favorite band for years, having quite an influence on him. Jimi Hendrix he thought was fantastic and he also liked The Doors. When he was thirteen years old I took him to his first Kiss concert.

Chuck在他九岁的时候接触了金属音乐。他的哥哥Frank在一起意外中去世。他们非常要好，Chuck难过极了，所以我们给他买了一把吉他并给他报了班。他喜欢玩吉他但很快的对课程感到厌倦，并且以自己的方式继续了下去。他听到了KISS的演奏，他们是那些年他最喜欢的乐队，对他有很大的影响。他觉得Jimi Hendrix非常棒，他也喜爱着THE DOORS。当他13岁时，我带他去了他的第一次KISS演出。

-When he started to play guitar and Mantas later turning into Death, what did you think? Did you approve his decision?

当他开始玩吉他并且后来把MANTAS转向为DEATH时，你是怎么想的？你支持他的决定吗？
-J: I suppose it was because Chuck was never a problem child that I accepted his music and thought if he liked it, then it was okay. Chuck always loved animals and cooking, he told me once that if he had not been a musician he would have been either a chef or a veterinarian. I always thought that the name of the band derived from the death of his brother, and while the word had such painful memories, I did not object.

我支持他因为Chuck从来不是一个问题小孩，如果他喜欢的话，我会接受他的音乐和想法，这些都没问题。Chuck一直喜欢动物和烹饪，他有次和我说如果他不是一个音乐人的话，他会想做个厨师或者兽医。我一直认为乐队的名字来源于他哥哥的死亡，但尽管这个词有很多痛苦的记忆，我没有反对。

-Did you like his music? Since the beginning, did you listen to his records and enjoy them?

你喜欢他的音乐吗？从一开始，你会听他的作品并且享受它们吗？
-J: Chuck's music was very loud and it took me some time before I really listened to it with a critical ear. I have always loved the drums, and early on I loved the way Chuck could play the guitar, always amazed at the progression of his talent as he taught himself. Chuck could play a lot of instruments. He was such an interesting person, and my garage was always full of young, hungry musicians. Great young people.

Chuck的音乐非常响，它花了我一些时间去适应，然后我真正的开始用挑剔的耳朵去听它。我一直喜欢鼓的部分，也很喜欢Chuck弹吉他的方式，对他天赋的进展感到惊讶，因为他靠自学。Chuck能够演奏很多乐器。他是如此一个有趣的人，我的车库里总是聚集着年轻人，饿了的音乐人。多么棒的人们。

-Was Chuck a 24hrs a day metal man? Which other styles he used to listen to?

Chuck一天24个小时都是个金属迷吗？他以前还听什么风格的音乐？

-J: Metal was the music Chuck listened to mostly, though he liked Jazz very much also. There is no music that I don't like. I always have either the radio or television on turned to the music stations. Chuck did not like country, thinking it a sad music.

金属音乐是Chuck听的最多的音乐，尽管他也非常喜欢爵士乐。这儿没有我不喜欢的音乐。我总是有着个播放音乐频道的收音机或者电视机。Chuck不喜欢乡村音乐，觉得它是一种悲伤的音乐。

-Besides the 2nd Control Denied's album, is there more unpublished material that probably will see the light soon?

除了Control Denied的第二张专辑，这儿还有其他我们将来可能会看到的未公布的作品吗？

-J: I did find unpublished songs that Chuck had written and lots of demos and there was music he had written for a friend in another band, but when I asked his friend about it, he didn't think he would go forward with their plans for it. I don't know what plans we have for all of those.

我确实找到了一些Chuck未完成的歌曲以及很多demo。这儿有很多他给另一支乐队的朋友写的音乐，但当我问及他的朋友时，他不觉得能够继续关于它的计划。我不知道这些所有的东西还有什么计划。

-Which are the last words that you remember Chuck saying to you or to another person?

你还记得Chuck对你或者别的说的最后的话是什么吗？
-J: Chuck's family were around him at the last and many words of love and comfort were spoken. It felt as though my heart and soul were breaking, and I still feel that way.

Chuck的家人在他临终时都陪伴着他，他说了很多爱和安慰的话。这让我感觉心和灵魂都碎了，现在仍是如此。

-Mrs. Schuldiner, thanks so much for the interview. We know how hard those times are and you can count with us. This space is yours to leave a message to Chuck's fans, friends... and whatever you want to do.

Schuldiner女士，非常感谢你对采访的支持。我们能理解那是多么艰难的时间。最后你可以给Chuck的乐迷和朋友留言，或者别的你希望说的。
-J: I want to thank you, Thiago, for your patience. Some of the answers were very difficult and it has taken me a long time. My message to Chuck's fans and friends are very much what I wrote in his memory December 13th of this year. Thank you all for your continued support to me and Chuck's music, he would be so proud.

我想要谢谢你，Thiago，你非常耐心。有些问题真的很难回答，让我想了很久。我对Chuck的乐迷和朋友们的留言已经在他十二月份的纪念日上写了。感谢你对我和Chuck的音乐的不断支持，他会为此自豪。

原载于 emptywords.org

翻译 dyingflames

感谢阅读

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