Is NonViolent Communication for me?
What is NonViolent Communication (NVC)?
NVC is based on three pillars: self-empathy, honest expression and empathetic listening. While practicing those three aspects, we are able to choose our reactions rather than being on automatic pilot when facing challenging situations. On the contrary, it teaches a way to communicate that fosters compassion and mutual giving from the heart.
The application of NVC
More than a simple communication tool, NonViolent Communication is an art of life that allows us to:
Gain clarity on our thoughts and emotions
In this mode, we are able to access the information from prefrontal cortex and bypass emotional hijack which flares amygdala into fight, flight or freeze response. The amygdala response will often become the trigger for conflict.
Find our voice to express our needs in a way that is honest and that can be heard by others
Finding our voice in NVC language means to communicate with empathy and calm. Speaking from that space we invite another person to join us in honest conversation
Deepen our capacity to listen beyond words
When we engage in deep and active listening we let others know that we are present with them, we nourish their need for understanding. Listening beyond words will deepen trust and connection with each other.
NVC can help...
... in my daily life
- I am at the cinema and the person near me comments the movie out loud. I want to tell her that it disturbs me but I don’t want to seem nagging.
- I am very shy and have a difficult time talking with people I don’t know, for example during parties. I easy blush when someone I don’t know talks to me. I would like to gain more self-confidence and to be more at ease in my social life.
... with family relationships
- I had a conflict with my father, and I feel a lot of anger towards him. I would like to express my anger to him without breaking the relationship.
- My sister and my mother get into a quarrel each time they meet, I am in the middle, I would like to help them understand each other.
... with my work relationships
- I feel narrowed in my work, not understood and I don’t feel valued by my n+1; at the same time, I like my work. Leaving or staying? I would like to take a decision and be at peace with it.
- I would like to negotiate more free time with my boss so I can spend more time on my personal projects, but I am afraid that my request will be rejected and that I will be labeled as “lazy”. I would like to find a fair way to formulate my request.
... for parents and children relationships
- I am an at-home mother, and my whole family relies on me for managing everyday life. I would like to be able to express my needs and that my husband and my children take care of their own needs without counting on me all the time.
- I am a father and it is really important to me to raise my kids with kindness. I joined many parenting workshops, and still, sometimes I am so exhausted after work that my old habits come back and I tend to yell (I even can hear my own dad speaking through me!). I would like to find some support.
What Beijingers say of it...
The NVC course at BMC was truly transformational for me. So simple, so powerful, so foundational, it cuts through the froth, distraction and habits of thought passed down through role modeling in families and cultures, and goes straight to the heart of the matter. I realized I have needs!!! And through the learning, I have been able to connect more fully with those dearest to me. It has helped me understand myself so much better, and has given me a whole new set of tools to use to understand and approach conflict in my most intimate relationships.
Abbie Tonkyn
We're much better at resolving conflicts. Now my husband and I could communicate and acknowledge each other's needs without neither of us getting defensive. As a result, we could come up with creative, effective solutions together.
Charlene Ng
I like the way my sessions turned. The facilitator is really flexible, and easy-going, open-minded, cultivated. My needs for understanding, communication, exchange, sharing, are met.
Sinith Bejm
It has been an incredible eye opening experience, I am more able to express what I feel and need. I also learned how to use questioning to help pupils and getting them to express their feelings.
Douglas Baird
Julia has a personality that makes it easy for others to talk, to express themselves. I realized things about me and my capacity to relate to others. My need for clarity has been fulfilled.
Rebeca Phang
Want to learn NVC?
Join Julia for a one-day immersion workshop:
Saturday 20th of April , 10am to 6pm, or
Saturday 18th of May, 10am to 6pm
Press and hold to register
Join our "NVC lab" practice group every Saturday afternoon 2pm to 5pm, starting on Saturday 27th of April,
Press and hold to register
Facilitator: Julia Feste
A former engineer and then Montessori educator, Julia Feste got in touch with NonViolent Communication (NVC) during summer 2015 when shifting direction in her career. Since then she has continued to learn and share NVC in three different languages (French, Chinese, English), proving that NVC is a powerful process that applies beyond language and culture barriers. She now helps individuals to cultivate empathetic relationships in their daily environment by offering group classes, sharing circles, individual and couple sessions based on NVC. Her previous work includes a 2 years program for teaching staff and administrators at a Montessori school, 4 to 12 weeks programs for parents, and teaching NVC skills for coaching.
At BMC, Julia holds sessions on NonViolent Communication for Coaching, Sharing Circle, Practice group, NVC for Parenting, Mindful Communication programs for schools, and individual empathy sessions.
www.beijingmindfulness.com
hello@beijingmindfulness.com
Tel: 010-64034923
Address: No.44, Qian Yong Kang Hutong, Dongcheng, Beijing