My Mom Entered My Room Without Knocking
Hi guys! I’m Katherine. I’m only 16 now, but I was forced to leave my parents’ house and move across the continent. I feel almost like an orphan, with my parents alive, and that’s pretty insulting. Everything has happened because of love, or rather because of my romantic preferences.
The thing is that I happen to be a lesbian. Actually, when I myself began suspecting that I was attracted to girls, it was quite unexpected and weird. It happened a few years ago when I was 12 or something. I was at a sports camp with some girls from gymnastics class and one of them, who used to be my best friend, made it clear that she was in love with me. It was shocking and scary, but more because I suddenly understood that I felt pretty much the same toward her.
I was never fond of gymnastics at all, especially the sporty kind, when girls look more like solid fireplugs, even though there are really flexible. Then why I would devote 8 years to it, you might ask, and my answer is that my dad insisted on me doing so. You see, first of all, he always wanted to have a son in order to raise him to be a successful athlete. But I was born a girl and disappointed my dad with that fact. He, nevertheless, has never given up on his dream of being the father of an Olympic champion. And gymnastics was one of his favorite sports. Dad was strict and totalitarian, I was too young to rebel against him, and mom was (and still is) way too much in love with my dad to disagree with him.
I definitely wasn’t a talented athlete. But dad kept saying that diligence is the mother of success and that he was sure that, eventually, I would get that gold medal. But I managed to gain only a few encouragement awards, a couple of bone and nose fractures, and (something that was totally unexpected) my sexuality.\
Regina was my age and she was really rocking, you know. She was a better athlete than I was and definitely the better lesbian. I mean, she was way more assured in her lifestyle and much more courageous than me. It was one of those nights at sports camp and we, as usual, had snuck out of our room to watch the shooting stars while sitting on top of the roof. Then she said that she loved me more than just a friend and that she really wanted to give me a kiss, if I didn’t mind.I’d gotten scared. Not only back then I was too young for any romance, I guess, but I never thought that I could be, well, not like others in this sense. I probably didn’t want to feel what I felt toward my bestie. So, I yelled at her that she could no longer be my friend and hastily got up to go back to my room. But I might have just been too shocked by what had happened, because suddenly my leg slipped and I fell off the roof.
Everything happened really fast after that, I mean, the panic, the ambulance, and the terrible pain. All that relates to this very story is that I’d damaged my spine – fortunately, not very seriously, but this turned out to be enough for the doctors’ to strongly advise me to leave gymnastics forever. Even my stubborn father had to admit that my poor achievements were not worth continuing it.
Finally being free from gymnastics, I had surprisingly so much spare time. I would never have thought that I would miss the very fact of participating in sports somehow. Besides, I saw that my dad had gotten a bit more irritated than usual and I was pretty sure that it was because of my failure as an athlete. I couldn’t stand being my dad’s disappointment one more time, so I decided to join another favorite sport of his – curling.
What can I say... it was fun with all those “biters” and “guards” and “draws.” I’d even promised dad that I'd win some medals in it because I was pretty sure that I could become a successful curler. But I kept thinking about my sexuality over and over again. I would read a lot of stuff on the internet and decided to try to accept myself as a lesbian. I’d noticed that I felt an attraction to one of my team members – Josie. I don’t know how it happened, but once again at first we became really close friends and very soon both of us agreed that it was more than just friendship. This time I was 14 and I was already ready to try dating.
Josie was nice and we often got together at my place after our training. My parents knew her and seemed to even like her. But, of course, we were keeping our little secret from my folks, since they were way too conservative to understand, I thought.
But once, as it usually happens, my mom appeared in the wrong place, at the wrong time...
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LearnAndRecord
2015年2月8日
2019年8月1日
第1636天
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