双语•美文｜英国新驻美大使难产？
By Andy Borowitz
July 10, 2019
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Following the resignation of its Ambassador to the United States, Kim Darroch, the government of the United Kingdom has disclosed that it has been unable to find a replacement for Darroch who does not also think that Donald J. Trump is a blithering idiot.
伦敦（博洛维茨报告）——英国驻美大使金· 达罗克递交辞呈后，英国政府日前透露，至今未能找到一位可以接替达罗克且认为特朗普并非十足笨蛋的人。
At a press conference at 10 Downing Street, the British Prime Minister, Theresa May, revealed that the search for a new ambassador who does not believe that Trump is an imbecile has thus far come up empty.
在唐宁街10号举行的新闻发布会上，英国首相特雷莎·梅透露，他们一直在寻找不相信特朗普是个蠢货的新大使，目前这项工作毫无进展。
“We did not want a repeat of the unfortunate Kim Darroch incident, so we made the first question on the job application, ‘Do you think Donald Trump is a moron?’ ” May said. “So far, none of the applicants has checked the ‘no’ box.”
梅说：“我们不希望再次发生不幸的金·达罗克事件，所以在该职位申请表上提出的第一个问题是，'你觉得唐纳德·特朗普是个白痴吗？'，到目前为止，还没有一个申请人选'不'。”
May acknowledged that the government might have to expand its search for applicants beyond those with diplomatic experience in order to find a replacement for Darroch who does not consider Trump a dolt.
梅承认，政府可能不得不扩大寻找范围，放宽对申请人外交经验的要求，以便找到一个不认为特朗普是傻瓜的新大使接替达罗克。
“We will search high and low until we find someone in this country who doesn’t think Donald Trump is a nitwit,” she said. “We’re starting by interviewing people who don’t think Boris Johnson is a nitwit.”
她说：“我们会到各个角落去寻找，直到在英国找到一个不认为唐纳德·特朗普是蠢货的人。我们将首先面试那些不认为鲍里斯 · 约翰逊是蠢货的人。”
While affirming her government’s determination to find someone in the U.K. who does not think Trump is an unmitigated bonehead, May warned that the difficulty of the task must not be underestimated. “This is turning out to be harder than Brexit,” she said.
虽然梅公开肯定她的政府下定决心要在英国找到一个不认为特朗普是彻头彻尾笨蛋的人，但她警告说，这项工作的难度绝不容小觑。她说：“显然这比英国脱欧更难！”
（英文及图片来自newyorker.com）
【安迪·博洛维茨，美国著名的幽默专栏作家，获称“美国最搞笑的人之一”。】
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