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悦读｜“青蛙公主”的恐惧观
(Credit: popsugar.co.uk)
前不久的北京冬奥会上，中国自由式滑雪运动员谷爱凌大放异彩，首次参赛就获得两金一银的骄人战绩。赛前，她曾应邀在《纽约时报》上发表了一篇文章，从运动员视角讲述了自己从事极限运动直面恐惧、战胜恐惧的心路历程……
[朗读：中国石油大学（北京） 李婷]
Gu’s relationship to fear is evolving. She thinks about it a lot. She keeps a diary, and some of her handwritten entries, she said, are devoted to the subject of fear, in all its forms.
谷爱凌与恐惧的关系在不断演变。她总会想到恐惧。她平时习惯记日记，她说，其中有些简短手记就是关于恐惧的——各式各样的恐惧。
At the request of The New York Times, Gu wrote down her thoughts on fear — how she views it, how she manages it, how she hopes to conquer it.
应《纽约时报》之请，谷爱凌写下了她对恐惧的一些思考——她如何看待恐惧、如何应对恐惧、希望如何战胜恐惧。
I Admit It. I'm in Love with Fear我承认，我爱上了恐惧
FOR THE LAST 10 OF MY 18 YEARS, I’ve pursued a tumultuous love affair with fear. I’m a professional freeskier, and twin-tipped skis, 22-foot halfpipes and double-cork rotations are my main sources of adrenaline, the truly addictive core of extreme sports.我今年18岁，最近10年，我仿佛一直在与恐惧谈一场轰轰烈烈的恋爱。我是一名职业自由式滑雪运动员，双尖滑雪板、22英尺高的U型池和转体两周的动作是我肾上腺素的主要来源，也是极限运动真正令人着迷的核心元素。
Like all bewitching lovers (at least the ones in the novels I read, for lack of real-world experience), this significant other can be... mercurial. “Fear” is really an umbrella term for three distinct sensations: excitement, uncertainty, and pressure. I’ve learned that the nuanced indicators of each of these feelings can be instrumental to success when recognized and positively leveraged, and harbingers of injury when ignored.就像所有令人迷恋的情人（我没有实际经验，想来至少是我在小说里读到的那些），这重要的另一半可能是……善变的。“恐惧”其实涵盖了三种不同的感官体验：兴奋、不确定和有压力。我已经明白一个道理：如果认识并积极利用这每一种感官的微妙指示，会对成功有所助益；如果忽视它们，可能未来会受伤。
Though it’s easy to label extreme sport athletes as fearless or capricious, the countless hours I’ve spent visualizing tricks and practicing them in foam pits (foam. particles. everywhere) and on airbags (think giant Slip ’N Slide) suggest otherwise. It’s biologically counterintuitive for us to place ourselves in positions of risk, and while we make every effort to physically prepare, no amount of metaphorically safety-netted practice can equate to the unforgiving snow slope that rushes up to meet us after a steep kicker launches us into the air. Instead of ignoring fear, we build unique relationships with it by developing a profound sense of self-awareness and making deliberate risk assessments.极限运动员很容易被贴上无畏或无常的标签，但实际上，我曾花费数不清的时间在海绵池中（填满泡沫和颗粒）和气垫上（像巨型滑水道）想象如何做那些技巧动作并进行练习。把自己置于危险境地是违背人类天性的，虽然我们尽一切努力做好身体准备，但再多的所谓安全训练也不能与无情的雪坡相提并论，陡峭的跳台将我们抛向空中后，它就向我们迎面扑来。我们不是忽视恐惧，而是通过培养强烈的自我意识和做出谨慎的风险评估，与恐惧建立起独特的关系。
The work begins with visualization. Before I attempt a new trick, I feel a tightening high in my chest, between the base of my throat and the top of my diaphragm. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. As I ascend the gargantuan takeoff ramp, I imagine extending my legs to maximize lift. Then I picture twisting my upper body in the opposite direction I intend to spin, generating torque before I allow it to snap back the other way.这个关系的建立从想象开始。在尝试新技巧动作前，我会感到胸口一阵抽紧，就在喉咙底部和膈肌顶部之间的位置。我会深吸一口气，闭上眼睛。当我沿着巨大的起跳坡道飞起，我想象自己伸展双腿让腾空的升力达到最大。然后，我想象自己在翻转时反向扭转上半身，产生扭矩，让身体再从另一个方向转回。
Now, in my mind, I’m airborne. I see the backside of the takeoff immediately, then my flip draws my vision to the cloudless sky above me. My ears register the wind as a kind of song, every 360-degree rotation providing the beat to the music of my motion. As my feet come under me halfway through, I spot the landing for the briefest of moments before I pull my body into the second flip. I imagine my legs swinging under me as I return to a forward-facing position and meet the ground with my weight in the front of my boots. 1440 degrees. I smile. Then I open my eyes.现在，在我脑海中，我已经飞上了天。我立刻看到起跳点的背面，之后，转体动作将我的视线投向头顶万里无云的天空。耳畔的风就像某种歌曲，我的动作就像奏乐，每一周转体都是打出的节拍。动作做到一半，双脚冲下，在将身体转入第二个翻转前极短的瞬间，我看到了落地点。我想象双腿摆动到下方，此时自己回到面向前方的姿势，重心放在靴子前部落地。转体四周。我面带微笑，然后睁开眼睛。
In the split second following my visualization, the knot in my chest flutters and spreads — those famous butterflies reaching their final stage of metamorphosis. Excitement, the child of adrenaline, my true love and addiction. That tantalizingly precarious balance between confidence in my ability to execute the trick safely and excitement for the unpredictable experience to come. I’ve heard this state called “the zone,” which is indeed where I was when I became the first female skier in history to land the double cork 1440 last fall.想象结束的一刹那，胸口的那个结终于打开四散——就像人人所知的蝴蝶终于化茧成蝶。随着肾上腺素而来的兴奋，就是我真正热爱和着迷的东西。对自己有能力安全完成动作的信心和对未来不可预知体验的兴奋，这两者之间那种极不稳定的平衡让我沉醉。我听说这种状态叫“化境”——去年秋天，当我成为史上首个完成前空翻两周加转体四周的女运动员时，我想我的确进入了那样的状态。
(Credit: Fok)
It doesn’t take much, unfortunately, for uncertainty to override confidence. Imperfect preparation moistens my palms, pushes that tight spot down into my stomach and makes each breath shallower than the last. The feeling isn’t panic, but something like dread. Danger! cries every evolutionary instinct. If I should choose to look past this safety mechanism, my body may act autonomously in the air, twisting out of the rotation and forcing me to brace for impact out of fear that full commitment to the trick may end in disaster. Every freeskier’s goal is to recognize the minute differences between excitement and uncertainty in order to maximize performance while minimizing the risk of injury.遗憾的是，不确定往往很容易将信心压倒。如果准备不够完美，我会掌心出汗，紧张的位置会下移到腹部，令呼吸愈发短促。那种感觉并非慌张，而是某种类似畏惧的情绪。危险！每一个进化的本能都会呼喊。如果我选择忽略这一安全机制，我的身体或许就会在空中失控，转体变形，迫使我心怀恐惧准备迎接落地的冲击，全力投入的动作可能以彻底的失败告终。每一位自由式滑雪运动员的目标就是要认清兴奋和不确定之间的细微差别，这样才能在呈现最佳状态的同时将受伤风险降到最低。
Finally, there’s pressure, an energy source that can be wielded in many ways. One’s experience of pressure — by far the most subjective facet of “fear” — is affected by personal experiences and perspectives. Expectations of family and friends, a competitive streak, or even sponsorship opportunities can provide the scaffolding for a high-pressure environment. Pressure can be a positive force for competitors who leverage it to rise to the occasion, but it can also single-handedly dictate competitive failure.最后，还有压力，这是能以多种方式利用的能量源。一个人的压力体验——显然这是“恐惧”最主观的一面——会受个人经历和观念的影响。亲友的期望、竞争的驱动，甚或赞助的机会，都可能构建起高压环境。对于能利用压力应对当前境遇的竞争者来说，压力可能是一种积极的力量，但压力也可能成为失利唯一的决定性因素。
But whether athletes alleviate or compound their innate desire to “prove themselves” depends largely on confidence. As I enter my early adulthood, I’m proud of the work I’ve done to cope with pressure by bolstering my self-esteem and minimizing my need for external validation. I focus on gratitude, perspective, and on the joy this sport brings me, regardless of whether I’m alone or in front of a worldwide TV audience. Though my views of myself and the world are constantly evolving, one thing is for certain: no matter how much time passes, I’ll always be a hopeless romantic when it comes to fear.不过，运动员是抑制还是增强“证明自己”的内在欲望，这在很大程度上取决于信心。我刚刚步入成年，能够依靠提升自尊和尽量减少对外界认可的需求来应对压力——对此我感到十分自豪。无论独处还是面对全世界的电视观众，我所注重的都是感恩、判断，以及这项运动带给我的快乐。我对自己和世界的看法会不断变化，但有一点确定不变，那就是：无论时间如何流逝，面对恐惧，我永远是个彻头彻尾的浪漫主义者。
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