Winter is coming: Bookworm books needed to heat buildings
This article is brought to you by Comedy Club China's partners at China Liar, Beijing's least reliable news source
The Beijing expatriate community is in shock after receiving news that a cultural institution, the Bookworm, will be forced to close after 14 years. Fans of the establishment wondered why this shining example of Eastern and Western cultures coming together in celebration of literature, laughter, and the similarities that all people share needed to close after bringing joy and knowledge to so many. The answer is simple: in an effort to reduce the pollution of dusty books and coal burning, the Bookworm books need to be used as fuel for the upcoming Nov. 15th heating supply.
(Pics of the valuable kindling)
Fans of the establishment have to understand this solution, with the BJ municipality killing two birds with one stone: the dusty books are huge contributors to PM 2.5, so burning them will reduce pollution and provide valuable heat to Beijing.
We asked pollution expert, Dr. Phil Morris, about the situation: "Have you noticed how much clearer the skies have been this year? The government has focused on eliminating the largest contributors to PM 2.5, like large incense sticks at temples and dusty books. This is another example. Coal burning has also reduced, but the heat still has to come from somewhere. Books are a very logical next choice."
(Pics of the smoke factories)
The Bookworm will have a last "fire" sale to get rid of its remaining stock. Fans of classic books such as "the Lonely Planet Guide to Syria" and "the TimeOut Guide to Beijing, 2002" flocked to the establishment to get their hands on these timeless classics.
(Cheap flights available!)
Work on cleaning out the store has already begun, ironically starting with the Ray Bradbury section of the library. We asked a patron of the Bookworm his thoughts on the situation: "Does anyone know what 451 degrees fahrenheit is in celsius?"
Don't forget to come to the Bookworm to get some of the discounted books before it closes its doors on Nov. 11th. The last Comedy Club China show is this FRIDAY, Nov. 8th, at 8pm.
Liked this article? Follow the Comedy Club China account for more!