8 Chinese Cultural Quirks Explained

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We realize calling a Chinese cultural trait a 'quirk' is a tad ignorant as Chinese people probably view certain Western traits the same way. Now that we've got that bit of politically correct pussy-footing out of the way, let's cut to the chase. While we tire of expats bellyaching about certain Chinese cultural traits, we also tire of their holier-than-thou counterparts acting like they're so in tune with the local culture a la Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves that they don't even notice the more alien customs (split-back pants, dogs in parkas etc). Well, most of you do. Though some of these quirks crop up in expat discussions more than others. So as a service to you, we're taking a scalpel to the top ten in an effort to, if not make them more palatable, at least broaden our cross-cultural understanding.

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Walking Backwards:

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Ever go for an early morning stroll to see an octogenarian walking backwards like a geriatric Michael Jackson? According to TCM practitioners, this peculiar-looking form of calisthenics relieves back pain and boosts kidney function. Some people even believe that retro-walking allows you to reverse the sins of the past. Kill two workouts with one stone by rotating metal Baoding balls in your hand at the same time, or doing the "slap massage." 

Yeah, you’ve probably seen old men slapping themselves on the body like they’re perpetually swatting at mosquitoes. They’re actually trying to improve their circulation. To administer this self-massage, slap lightly at your shoulders and then work your way down to your hand. After about a minute loosen up by moving your arm in a windmill motion. Do this exercise in conjunction with power-walking to further facilitate blood flow.

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Hot Water in Summer:

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Nothing cools you off on a sultry summer day like a glass of scalding hot water, right? Yeah, expats generally agree that this is one of the more infuriating quirks. But it actually makes perfect sense. Warm drinks are believed to help aid the digestion of food, while ice water leads to indigestion because your body uses extra energy to warm it up. 'Nuff said.

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Clothes on dogs:

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The Chinese don't have a monopoly on dressing up their pets. This is practiced everywhere from various countries' armed forces, who outfit their pouches with kevlar protective vests, to your girlfriend uploading pics of her chihuahua with purple pumps and a Gucci bag. And in China, it appears to be done for the same reason as the latter, sheer amusement. Maybe we just get a kick out of it more here due to the juxtaposition between infants half-naked on leashes and dogs roaming free in cashmere sweaters and designer shoes. Or perhaps it's the fact that China seems to take dog fashion to the nth degree by outfitting golden retrievers in fishnets and stilettos or dying dogs to resemble pandas...or sometimes even dressing the boss's dog in a soy sauce glaze. 

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Bizarre foods:

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Again, a super subjective one. Who's to say eating snake's any stranger than spreading the rotten milk of a giant ungulate on crackers and downing it with a glass of grapes that've been fermented to the point of toxicity? We've found that often it's not so much the weird eats that put off expats, but the preparations of "normal foods" ie. chicken with the heads and feet on, bone-in fish etc. According to long-time restaurateur Mr. Hu, “Filets are dumb foods. What makes Chinese cuisine so great is the fact you have to exercise your brain to eat it by dissecting things. You shell shrimp, pick at heads.” Think a culinary Rubik’s Cube. 

What about textural oddities like jellyfish and bird's nest? Hu says, “Chinese cuisine is as based as much on texture as it is on taste. The most prized foods like shark’s fin, sea cucumber and bird’s nest are all texture. We love foods that are simultaneously gelatinous and firm, and bits like trotters and ears have that in spades.” We're not going to attempt to explain all the intricacies of the various Chinese cuisines in this listicle. But this should help you at least understand there's a very good reason (not to mention a five thousand-year history) behind almost every dish and cooking method.

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Split-back pants:

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Nothing snuffs out the appetite like witnessing a woman dangle her infant over a grassy knoll, (or a metro platform), so they can defecate onto it through a pair of assless crap chaps. We understand the practicality; they offer a convenient offramp from the hershey highway. But how did they come about? A 2003 NY Times article claimed that they'd be worn or decades, though others claim toddlers have been rocking crotchless trousers since the Qing Dynasty. 

China Daily reports," In the late 1970s, when Mao-suit grays and dark blues were the norm for adults, children's vividly hued kaidangku [split-back pants] were the only splashes of color on Beijing's drab streets." Split-back stalwarts claim that the pants are far more environmentally-friendly than disposable diapers. Also, "while diaper babies let loose whenever," split-backers are conditioned to poo on command -- generally a whistle. Though we suspect this Pavlovian poop cue could backfire when the now-grown child has to give a presentation and someone in the crowd trills their support, inadvertently turning them into a human log flume. 

Nonetheless, the popularity of Proctor & Gamble's pampers, introduced in 1998, has made the split-back pants largely obsolete, except for in rural areas. Though every once in a while we'll see a toddler using one of these emergency exits, and yea, we're not ashamed to admit that we haven't totally embraced the custom. We were probably more receptive when we first arrived, treating it as a kooky cultural quirk. Now the fog of whimsy has burned off. 

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Spitting:

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No we're not taking about that discrete spit you do to expel a straggler from a recent lunch. We're talking about that guttural hocking sound an old-timer makes in broad daylight as they click a raw oyster into place, and then discharge it onto the sidewalk with a water balloon-like splat. Shanghai is a veritable phlegm brulee factory. Even worse than the spitter is its Hezbollah-like splinter faction: the snot rocketeers, who shoot globs of phlegm onto the curb with the accuracy of Yanomami blow-gunners. You live here long enough and that guy who hocks into a napkin or between the dividers on the subway seems mannerly. So why do people do it? The short answer: health. It's believed that when pollutants have been accumulating in your lungs all day, the failure to clear them out via spitting could lead to respiratory illness (blowing your nose just doesn't do it properly). Whereas in Western culture it's said that hocking phlegm spreads respiratory illnesses like tuberculosis. The long answer?

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General bad manners:

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The same reason people cut in line, litter, burp loudly, pick noses, open the emergency exit on the plane, and myriad other behaviors viewed as bad manners in the West. If you see someone with a white patina on their beard, they've lived through a horrific period in Chinese history. People forget that though China may be atop the wealth chain, the nation was poor just yesterday. It's rich like Steve Martin in the movie The Jerk; the manners haven't really had time to catch up to the moula. This is not unique to the Middle Kingdom. If you recall, the US' rapid 1950s wealth boom spawned the "ugly American" tourist. It simply might be China's turn to be the "ugly American."

Head of the Sarita Institute, Sara Jane Ho recognizes these historical factors: "When you're struggling to get to the front of the food ration line during the Cultural Revolution you're not thinking about personal space and queuing up."

According to Ross Coomber, a sociology professor at Britain's Plymouth University, it's even more subjective than that (first published in the NY Times): “For India and China, I feel that a lot of elites are looking elsewhere to get a gauge on what civilization is. My personal opinion is that spitting is so embedded in these cultures that I don’t see why they have to modify their behavior. A strong, confident country should be able to say, ‘No, these are things that we do and you need to understand that.’”

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That long gnarly nail:

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You've seen cab drivers using what looks like a raptor talon on their pinky to clean both their ears and noses like a calcified multipurpose tool. Many cabbies claim that they wouldn't be able to maintain personal hygiene without it. So why didn't we group this under the umbrella of "different manners?" Claws were originally a symbol of the gentry. If you had long gnarled nails, it meant you weren't chipping or breaking them by doing manual labor. 

It's the same reason you see women in Ningbo sporting those bizarre Somali Pirate-esque facekinis when swimming so they can keep their skin alabaster white. Tan skin is synonymous with working in the fields -- the complete opposite of the US where a stellar tan means you can afford to sun-bathe on a yacht or summer in the Hamptons. Ever wonder why you see grandmas cramming Sour Cream & Onion potato chips into a wonton-shaped toddler's face at 10am like it's a foie gras goose? She remembers a time where there wasn't enough food to go around, so she equates fat with wealth. In a place like the US where we've had enough to eat for quite a while now, obesity  is associated with only being able to afford stuff off the dollar menu at McDonald's. Trimness means you have access to pricey, organic foods and a good trainer. 

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