Can't Stand the Heat…Restaurateurs Tell Us How They Balance Life
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Beijing’s booming food scene attracts people from all around the world, to feed the city’s hunger for diverse, authentic cuisines. Many of them are parents… or become parents while working here. But restaurant kitchens are notoriously merciless and demanding workplaces, where the hours are antisocial and mistakes are not acceptable. How does anyone combine parenting with a role in this cutthroat industry?
To find out we talked to three leading lights of the Beijing Food and Beverage (F&B) scene, who are also devoted parents. Alan Wong is well known as founder of the Hatsune chain of sushi restaurants, but it wasn’t food that brought him to Beijing.
“My dad was doing real estate,” he tells us, “he was involved in building and managing some pretty high profile residences and offices in Beijing. He brought me out to train me as an intern in his company. I said ‘that’s not for me,’ I borrowed some money and started Hatsune.”
However Hatsune was not his first F&B venture.
“When I was 16 or 17 I started working in restaurants. Everybody in the world at some point entertains the idea of owning a restaurant. For several years I owned a Japanese restaurant in California. In China there was opportunity. There were lots of sushi restaurants, but no California-style sushi. I started in Beijing. Now we have 17 restaurants in Beijing and Shanghai. There are a lot of copy restaurants too, so I’ve really brought Californian sushi to China.”
For Henry W. Timberlake, a distinctive and well-known figure with his dapper mustache, working in F&B was not a childhood ambition.
“When I was little, I was hellbent on becoming a garbage collector!” he says. “Then in 2007-8, I was in working in sales. I was doing really well, then the market crashed and no one was buying anything. So I sat at home and watched cooking shows. And whatever they cooked, I would recreate in my own interpretation.
“It didn’t become serious till someone picked me up at a Starbucks when I was applying for a different job. This guy was opening a restaurant right across the street, and he came over to me and said ‘I’ve seen you here all week applying for that job, and I want you to work for me.’ So I became wine sales manager at a gourmet comfort food restaurant. I was always in a suit, so I had to take care of customer service – that’s my passion and my training. And I was always in the kitchen at home, I always cooked and did house parties for my sister’s friends.”
Then opportunity knocked, in the form of his cousin.
“I was at the same restaurant in Texas, and he was in China having a blast teaching English, earning 20 to 30 dollars an hour. Two weeks later I quit my job and came to Beijing, not knowing the language or with a single dime to my name. I taught English for six to eight months, then found my way back to the restaurant industry. I met Sam Grossman when he was managing the first Home Plate and the new one was being built, six years ago. He was sick and tired, ready to go home, and he asked me to be the manager of Home Plate when he left. Since then I’ve cooked at various places, and now I consult for bars and restaurants.”
Yoo Eun Jung, founder of MSG-free Korean restaurant Saveurs de Coree, also found her calling in China.
“I always cooked as my mom’s assistant,” she says. “I never thought of being a professional chef before coming to Beijing. We opened Saveurs de Coree in 2006, and I’m still working there today.”
But how do they balance business with having children?
“This is always the challenge,” Wong says. “It’s a time thing, they both require an exorbitant amount of time to do successfully. When the kids were younger, that was difficult, but as I had my own company bringing them to the office was not a big deal. Now they’re at school it’s much easier. And living in China you can have an ayi for relatively cheap.”
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Timberlake, a single parent, says that for him it works better than a 9-5 job.
“I don’t start working till later on, so I have energy when he gets back from school. “As for weekends, I have mandatory time in any contract that I spend those two days with my son. The beauty of consulting is I get to make my own hours.”
And restaurants can be child-friendly for employees as well as customers.
“Once everybody has seen my son they fall in love! He loves going to restaurants and bars, he says ‘Daddy, are we going to the hamburger place?’ When he was two he passed beer coasters to everyone in the restaurant, then when they were all passed out he’d go back and collect them. It’s because he saw me giving drinks to people and putting a coaster down. He always follows what I do when I’m working.”
Yoo’s restaurant too is very much a family concern.
“Since we are at the restaurant most of the time,” she says, “we ask our three girls (yes, including our 3-year-old!) to come around to help us with our cooking and serving. It’s a good chance to spend time with them and to show them how their parents work as well.”
We ask Wong whether lessons learned in the restaurant business can be applied to parenting.
“I would say the way I manage my staff, I’m always trying to look ahead and get ahead of the issue so I’m not caught out. For example, when our newborn was two weeks old he took his first flight. Infants don’t know how to swallow saliva to deal with air pressure changes. So I worked back a three hour cycle for two to three days, and changed his feed schedule so he would start eating when we were descending.
“I believe in having a very good work ethic,” he continues. “We don’t spoil our sons with screen time and toys. They get toys only at birthdays or Christmas. Even if aunties or uncles give them something, they don’t get it unless they work for it. They get an allowance based on work chores. Everything has to do with the consequence of actions. You do something, you get something, that’s how it should be. 16-year-old Chinese kids getting Ferraris, I don’t believe in that!”
For Yoo, the key lesson is about working together.
“The concept of teamwork travels from the kitchen to our parenting… and how to avoid conflict with the people that you’re working with everyday!”
What, we wondered, do these culinary experts cook for their own children at home?
“Don’t laugh – ” Timberlake says – “it’s the perfect omelette, with boiled carrots and sauteed broccoli with garlic and butter. It’s all about method. Anybody can crack an egg and scramble it. It’s about having the perfect amount of butter without burning it, flipping the omelette so it’s not burned on one side… I get a buzz from doing it perfectly because I want him to have the best. He loves carrots and broccoli, and he’ll have had enough rice at school to have his carb count up. I know he’ll always eat it, and it’s what he loves.”
While Timberlake focuses on perfection, Wong goes big – and classically American.
“I make a mean turkey dinner! One of my favorite things is Thanksgiving. We do it four or five times a year, we have maybe 40 people, make a huge meal and we destroy it. I don’t make any Japanese food at home, the ingredients are so important.”
His sons, now 10 and 7, are picking up his culinary skills.
“My son makes pancakes himself every morning, or scrambled eggs,” Wong says. “He started when he was 8. He’ll wake up earlier than we will and make breakfast for everybody.”
Timberlake’s son is only four, but he too is getting involved in the kitchen.
“He always wants to know what I’m doing, and get involved. He’s always sitting up on the counter and cutting veggies. He has a tiny whip that he loves to start stirring stuff with.”
We ask whether Timberlake is worried about such a young child using a knife.
“You can’t be afraid, I recommend starting as early as possible. His knife is pretty blunt, it’s just a normal table knife. But I’m teaching him how to cut and the dangers of real knives. If he does cut himself, that’s the only time you’re going to learn.”
Timberlake believes that the learning process should begin even earlier.
“Before I got Evan in the kitchen,” he says, “I would take him to the garden. It’s important to start out where food originally all comes from, understanding how plants grow and what it takes to water, grow, and weed. Only then will he start respecting what I or someone else cooks for him. One good way to start is going out to a strawberry farm and picking fruit.”
We wonder whether professionals can ever enjoy eating out, or whether they’re always analyzing the competition.
Out of 14 meals over seven days,” Wong says, “I probably eat out 13 of them. I eat out every single day, most of the time at my own restaurants. About four times a week I eat somewhere else. It’s about maintenance of the quality of food at my restaurants. I’m a freak about sushi, and if I was stuck on an island and could only eat one thing it would be raw fish on top of sushi rice! When I’m eating out I just enjoy the experience. I take away the positives and ignore the negatives. I’m not one of those people that has to take a photo everywhere I go!”
Timberlake too tries to see the positives.
“I don’t let it affect who I’m with, but I’m always seeing what’s on the menu, how they could be doing things better or differently. On the service side, I’m used to bad service in China, so I don’t judge. It’s still an evolving country. More often I’ll point out when someone’s done something good, I’ll tell the manager or text message the owner. Working in the restaurant industry you only get negatives and complaints, and it gets old, so what good does a fellow industry person complaining do?”
And while Yoo admits to analyzing both food and service, she knows where to go to enjoy a family meal which someone else has cooked.
“Our favorite restaurant is Justin (星洲老爺), since you can choose both Asian and French cuisine!” she says.
And we learn that professionals sometimes waimai like the rest of us. For Wong, the take-out of choice is xiaolongbao from Din Tai Fung. For Yoo, it’s “Cantonese, because that’s their Hong Kong father’s favorite!” But Timberlake goes for a family standby.
“I would have to say Annie’s. One, the service is impeccable, the best in the city. There’s no charge for delivery, there’s always something that Evan loves and that I love, it’s always consistent. Consistency is what every restaurateur strives for.”
We ask what advice they would give to someone wanting to eat well in Beijing.
“Stay off Tripadvisor and Dianping!” Wong says immediately. “Talk to actual people and see what they love. Why would you listen to what a complete stranger says? A lot of Dianping reviews are paid for. We don’t do this, but we could spend a thousand kuai and get seven Level 8 reviewers. Stay off the apps and talk to real people.”
Timberlake also recommends not following the crowds.
“Some of the best spots in Beijing aren’t always in the stereotypical areas. Look more widely; in the hutongs, the back alleys of Lido, Shunyi, places you wouldn’t expect.”
And Yoo has some sensible advice to offer.
“People tend to order too much food, because portions here in Beijing can be excessively generous. Order less so you can enjoy the food better! “
Growing up in the F&B scene has clearly been a plus not a problem for our interviewees’ kids. But would their parents want them following in their footsteps?
“I don’t know where their paths are going to lead them,” Wong says, “but they know the ins and outs of the industry, so I wouldn’t be surprised. If they chose to do something different I wouldn’t mind. It takes a special kind of person to do this business well, someone that really enjoys dealing with people and getting things done, who notices little details, who’s not afraid to handle people issues, who lifts spirits and teaches people what needs to be done… I more or less fell into this business. By all accounts I should have been in an office working for 30 thousand US a year. I don’t deserve to be where I am! But I’m very grateful.”
Yoo also refers to her children’s inside perspective.
“They have the advantage of knowing a lot about the F&B industry compared to other kids. They like what we are doing in general, but at the end of the day it’s all up to them. If this will be what they’d like to do when they grow up, we’d not hesitate to share all our secrets!”
And Timberlake harks back to his own childhood ambition.
“I would advise him to do whatever his heart desires, I’m all for it, I’d be tickled to death, but if he wants to be a garbage collector I’d support him in that too!”
Most importantly though, Timberlake wants his son to appreciate the importance of what happens in the kitchen, and the garden and the farm too.
“I would want him to follow the basics of cooking, to understand and respect food in general. That’s something that I think all kids should learn.”
This article appeared in the beijingkids September 2019 Family Foodies issue
PHOTO CREDITS: Ray Town, courtesy of Yoo Eun Jung
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