Private Talk. Period.

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It’s almost 2020. Periods shouldn’t make men (of any age) squeamish anymore and women shouldn’t need to feel embarrassed to ask for a tampon. It’s a completely normal part of life and it’s time to treat it as such.

Unfortunately, there are still dads in Beijing who consider the puberty talk and anything relating to that to be “mom’s job”. But truth be told, periods aren’t awkward until you (the parent) make it awkward.

True story: I have a girl friend who fell for a guy because of an accident with her period. Long story short, she got her period while they were out at lunch one day and instead of making a scene or making her feel embarrassed, he simply gave her his jacket to tie around her waist and walked her over to the nearest Watson’s to buy some sanitary napkins. That, boys, is how a gentleman should behave.

In China, the range of period products available isn’t as wide as in the US. There’s essentially two brands of tampons which can be commonly found in Chinese supermarkets and Watson’s, and occasionally a Diva cup would make an appearance on the shelves for a few months before disappearing because many of us can’t figure out how to actually use one without it looking like that elevator scene from The Shining.

The most commonly used product is still the pad, but there are so many kinds out there that it’s hard to choose the one you need. And you’re not supposed to choose just one. Depending on how heavy your flow is, the type of clothes you’re wearing, and time of day, there are different types of sanitary pads suited for your needs.

Here’s the cheat sheet for the next time someone needs you do to a feminine product run to the nearest supermarket.
For sleeping – long pads with wings
First day of the cycle – thin pads with wings or regular tampons
Second day of the cycle – thicker pads with wings or heavy flow tampons
Third day (until the end of the cycle) – back to thin pads with wings and regular tampons

- Always buy the pads with wings. 

- Don’t buy the scented stuff. 

- Never assume that panty liners can be a substitute for pads.

- Buy a box of regular tampons just in case.

For the single dads who need to have the talk. I get it. It’s not a comfortable topic no matter how hard you try. My dad still makes that “ugh, I can’t believe you said that” face when I ask him to add tampons to his Costco-run shopping list and he’s in his 60s. But no matter how uncomfortable it is to have the conversation, it’s better than her not knowing what’s going on with her body or thinking that she can’t come to you for help and advice.

Make her aware of these things. Her knowledge will help her navigate.

Hormones and Emotional Ups and Downs

A flood of hormones are going to cause her moods to fluctuate. She is going to cry and have no idea why. She will also be sensitive about things that normally wouldn’t bother her. It isn’t her fault, but knowing may help her maintain perspective and discount it. One of the most irritating things, when I was young, was people pointing out my mood swings and joking about it. Put yourself in their shoes. Your body is going through changes and you’re dealing with things you’ve never had to deal with before. It takes a bit of time before your daughters can get the hang of their menstrual cycles.

Menstrual Cycle and Vaginal Discharge

This isn’t here for shock value. It’s important for her to know what to expect so she’s not left alone in fear and confusion when it happens. Tell her; do not leave it up to a doctor or anyone else. They may impose their own viewpoints on sexuality, inconsistent with the values of your home. Vaginal discharge is one that’s often overlooked during sex ed classes. It’s not done on purpose, but when compared to the vast amount of information delivered to young people all at once, it ranks lower on the list of topics to cover. But, make sure your daughter knows that this is completely normal and that there’s nothing wrong with her body.

Growth Spurts, Pimples, and Breast Developmen

Explain that these changes are natural. They will feed her insecurity, particularly if she develops earlier or later than her peers. This isn’t the 90s anymore and being beautiful doesn’t mean you need to look like Gisele Bündchen. Models like Winnie Harlow, Ashley Graham, Brunette Moffy, and Viktoria Modesta are just a few on today’s runways that prove that you don’t need to look a certain way to be considered beautiful.

Source: allprodad.com
Photos: unsplash, giphy, manamia, vogue.com

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