The Great Dirty Diaper Debacle

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I’m a new mom and while I’ve read books and watched a ton of YouTube tutorials on infants, there are things that are just not covered until you actually have the baby. More specifically, there are Beijing specific things that just aren’t covered in any reading materials to help those of us raising little ones here.

I came face to face with my latest challenge in the form of a full, stinky diaper in the middle of a restaurant.

I took my new daughter to meet my best friend for lunch with the help of our ayi. Halfway through the meal, she starts crying and needs a diaper change. Without a moment’s hesitation, my ayi took out a fresh one and changed her right there at the table in the middle of the restaurant for all to see. Before I could say “wait”, ayi had already finished and handed me a warm bundled up dirty diaper to dispose of.

I wasn’t going to hand it off to some poor waiter so while I walked outside to find a public trash bin, I couldn’t help but wonder if this is how it’s done here. Is it normal to change diapers at the table? Honestly, before I had my own baby, I’ve never paid attention to these things and definitely never notice just how rare a big bathroom with a changing station in Beijing actually is.

I shared the experience of my great poop debacle with my fellow expat new moms and asked whether it’s how they do it too. The answer was a resounding no.

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Some suggested going to the bathroom to change the baby. That’s great if we’re out somewhere with nice big bathrooms. Malls like Indigo and Solana are thoughtful enough to build in changing stalls but as one dad pointed out, after spending his baby’s first year strolling around the same stores in Solana, he’s had enough. But even Beijing’s mega family-friendly malls and their changing stations aren’t always an option. This doesn’t quite work if we’re out in the hutongs and toilets are those public squatters with no doors in front of the stalls.

I asked some Beijing restaurant owners their views on the subject. While some are more understanding of the matter, the majority are definitely against doing it at the table. Restaurant owners, especially those whose establishments have no changing table, are fully aware that babies need to poop. But instead of ripping open a dirty diaper at the table, they’d prefer parents throw down a towel on a couch and give themselves a bit of privacy. One local restaurant owner has suggested that if a restaurant doesn’t have the necessary facilities (or even a bathroom), then maybe it’s not a place to go with a baby because it’s not fair to punish other patrons with a nostril full of fresh poop while they’re eating.

Others suggested changing the babies over the stroller while your partner shields them from view (or covering the stroller with a blanket if you’re out alone with the baby). Currently, I’m still working on figuring out how to actually pull this off since it’s our first baby, and my husband and I are still in the “holy crap, be careful not to break the baby” phase. We’re not ready for the art of stroller changing just yet…

So when strollers and bathroom changes are not possible, others have suggested pulling two chairs together in a corner, out of view from other diners, and doing it there.

While every parent has their own method for changing diapers while out dining, there’s one thing they can all agree on. It’s not cool to do it at the table, no matter how cute your kid is. It’s unsanitary and disrespectful to the restaurant as well as other diners. Because while in your eyes your child might poop glitter and rainbows, to others, it’s a smelly diaper and an instant appetite killer.

And while we’re on the topic, it should go without saying that handing a bundled up dirty diaper for your waiter to dispose of is an absolute no-no! As a friend puts it, “if you don’t poop at the table yourself, your kid shouldn’t either.” Looks like it’s time to have a serious talk with my ayi about the etiquette of changing dirty diapers in public…

Share your thoughts and tips on the subject of diaper changing in public in Beijing. Us newbie parents will really appreciate all the tips and life hacks!

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Photos: Unsplash 

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