Growing Up in a Gentler World: Encouraging Kids to Be Kind

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With travel restrictions, our worlds suddenly got much smaller. Among the doom and gloom blaring out of social media, there’s a feeling that there is far less kindness in the world. This has been blamed on multiple factors, from the pace of life becoming unbearably fast, to technology replacing face-to-face human interactions to something as mundane as not smiling at people when we see them these days. Granted, our masks might have something to do with that, but is it really as bleak a future as they say?

Some hope can be found from scenes across the world this year. After Covid-19 forced countries into lockdown, global citizens rallied to help in whichever way they could. In some places, people fundraised to purchase Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) for frontline workers. Hundreds of etsy shops were born out of the need for masks - practical, fanciful and fitting children. Others organized rooftop concerts to boost the morale of those stuck at home. Even therapists began to offer free online consultations to those who were most in need of mental health services.

Clearly, there is hope. But how do we ensure that the future generation moves through the world in a far more generous way without being prompted by a global pandemic? How do we raise our kids to be nicer, kinder people? We’ve collected some key suggestions, and they all begin in small ways.

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“

If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.

-Dolly Parton

Baby See, Baby Do
It is hard for kids to fully comprehend the importance of charity if they do not see the effects of what help can do. Taking kids with you to volunteer so they can directly witness the impact of helping might be a good place to start. Sometimes it’s not as direct, such as fundraising for cancer research, yet kids can understand getting sick. They understand feeling poorly then feeling better, and some illnesses require more than over-the-counter medicine. They will surely want to help more if they understand the real life effect they can have on people’s lives.

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Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them.

-A.A. Milne

It’s Yet Another Skill
Parents of young children might be far more focused on their children’s functional and cognitive development in their first few years of life. But while skills such as reading, writing, and creative play are being honed, this might be the perfect time to engage toddlers in play that mimics generosity and empathy. A good example is “one for you, one for me” or “taking turns,” which emphasize sharing. Ages 3-5 are when kids start to feel empathy or understanding the feelings of another person. Taking them to see live theatre and interactive music or dance classes with children in their age group are proven ways to nurture empathy in young minds.

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A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers.

-Confucius

Be The Change You Want To See
It can be easy for us to say the world is far less kind than it was before. It is also easy to say we fear our kids won’t have enough positive role models while growing up. But there is a simple and unpleasant question we have to ask ourselves. Are you modeling the behavior you wish to see in your child? Are you as charitable as you wish for your kids to be? Are you always looking for kind words to say? Or do you rely on snark and joking about people that can easily sound like you’re teasing them? It’s hard for adults, but we must do our best to show them how to be as kind as possible in our daily actions, not just our monthly charity work.

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Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.

-Maya Angelou

Always Live In Gratitude
Sometimes it is important to write down the reasons why we are more privileged than others. Teaching kids how to put down their reasons to be grateful could create great contrast between them and the less fortunate. Writing a gratitude journal doesn’t have to be a daily chore but could be part of the family bonding rituals. Or even something to be added to your New Year’s resolutions list.

There are many free printable gratitude journals or prompts for kids, and we found some excellent ones via Kitchen Table Classroom. Below is one example of simple ways to prompt your children into an understanding of just how much they have (tap image for larger view).

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If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up.

-Booker T. Washington

There is No Pass or Fail
In a bid to try and make their kids more charitable, some parents might decide to take on the challenge as some sort of exam, both for them and their kids, and in so doing, force their kids into “charitable activities” that do not quite encourage lasting change in the child. This might also be because charitable works look good on a college application or might help the child get into a better school.

Better to start with something the child wants to change, or help, or do. Point out injustices or inequities and help them find a way to make change. It will mean much more if it comes from your child’s own heart.

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Photos: Unsplash (courtesy of @elmundoderabbit, @krewellah87, @bermixstudio, @anniespratt and @timmarshall), kitchentableclassroom.com

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