The LGBTQIA+ Community and What It Means To Be an Ally

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I’ve always thought of myself as an ally and a supporter of the LGBTQIA+ community, doing my best to stand up for them when I needed to. However, a while ago, a close friend of mine came out to me, and to be completely honest, I didn’t have the best reaction. To this day, it’s one of my many regrets that haunts me still.

I think most of us prefer, or sometimes only have the opportunity, to support the community from a safe distance. But when it’s someone in your immediate circle of friends, it can become an entirely different story. In some way, you feel like the ground beneath your feet shift, even though nothing has actually changed. When one of my closest friends came out to me, I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around it. I thought I was losing a close friend. It was only in hindsight that I realized her coming out to me was because she trusted me enough to do so.

Although it was a complete readjustment of how I saw her, she had been thinking about this for months, maybe even years. I had just found out. Ultimately, I rejoiced at the fact that she is a strong person with such a clear sense of herself. I was delighted that she had the courage to open up to me about something that had been on her mind for so long.

Eventually, I realized that how she identifies or who she loves didn’t make me love her any less. All I could possibly do is be a shoulder for her to lean on. She’s made me realize that the LGBTQIA+ community is more than a less normalized way of loving: it’s about identity. Essentially, identity is what makes us, us.  

After she came out to me, I made sure not to bring it up around anyone else. I was well aware that I was one of the few people she had decided to come out to, and that the way I reacted to her really mattered.

Being an ally means understanding it’s not a phase or something anyone can control. It means you have to be willing to listen, remain open-minded, and continually provide a stable, familiar environment that’s comforting. Because at the end of the day, a bit of normalcy and validation goes a long way.

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Images: Unsplash, giphy

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