Explaining LGBTQIA+ & Sexual Orientations to Parents

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Pride Month is about celebrating LGBTQIA+ identities and promoting awareness. LGBTQIA+ encompasses both gender identities and sexual orientations. Part I of this two-part series was an introduction to gender identities. For this article, Part II, we will discuss sexual orientations.

What is sexual orientation? Sexual orientation describes the kind of people that one is attracted to. It is a person’s identity in relation to the gender or genders they are attracted to and want to have relationships with. It’s about who you’re drawn to romantically, emotionally, and sexually.

What is the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation? While sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to, gender identity is about who you are. Though they are all a part of the LGBTQIA+ acronym, being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is completely different from being transgender or bigender. It is an important distinction because sexual orientation is about who you want to be with rather than who you are.

What types of sexual orientations are there? There are many different types of sexual orientations, including homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and demisexual. Being homosexual means you are attracted to people of the same gender. Gay is another word commonly used to describe homosexual men and women, but homosexual women may prefer the term lesbian. Being heterosexual means you are attracted to people of a different gender. Another word used to describe heterosexual people is straight. Being bisexual means you are attracted to both men and women. Being pansexual means you are attracted to people across many different gender identities and your attraction is not limited by specific biological sexes or gender identities. Being asexual means you don’t experience any sexual attraction to anyone. Being demisexual means you need an emotional bond with someone before feeling attraction. A demisexual person must get to know someone well enough to trust them before feeling attraction or desire.

There is a distinction between different types of attraction. Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different. For some, romantic and sexual attraction line up. For others, romantic and sexual attraction are separate and different. For example, someone can be asexual and aromantic, not wanting sexual or romantic experiences. However, someone who is asexual may not be aromantic, meaning they may want relationships and emotional connections with others without experiencing sexual attraction.

What causes sexual orientation? Sexual orientation is not a choice, it is an entirely natural part of who you are. Sexual orientation can also change throughout one’s lifetime, and these changes aren’t “phases.” They’re perfectly natural and real changes in a person’s identity. Research shows that sexual orientation is likely caused partly by biological factors before birth, meaning that people don’t decide who they’re attracted to. Some know their sexual orientation from a young age, while others discover it later in life. Kids aren’t “too young to know what they want,” because sexual orientation is usually set early in life. Any kind of persuasion, treatment, or therapy will not change someone’s sexual orientation. It is impossible to “turn” someone gay and “gay influence” will not change or affect children, contrary to the beliefs of some people, especially parents, who fear the “gay agenda.” In other words, LGBTQIA+ people are perfectly normal. Being something other than heterosexual is not a disease, and LGBTQIA+ people are not a “dangerous influence” on young children.

If your child, friend, or relative comes out to you as gay, transgender, or any other sexual orientation or gender identity, an important thing to remember is that them telling you probably took a lot of courage and signifies that they trust you. They are still the same person they were before; coming out as gay doesn’t change who they are. You shouldn’t treat them any differently than before. Instead, you should ask them how you can support them, respect their pronoun and name changes (if applicable), and try your best to educate yourself. Reassure them that you still love them and you’re still there for them because what people fear most when coming out to their loved ones is being cut off and pushed away. What they want is acceptance, support, and reassurance, because coming out can be a very scary endeavor.

Even though society is taking great strides forward, there is still a significant amount of misunderstanding and discrimination toward LGBTQIA+ people. Learning more about LGBTQIA+ identities and the difficulties the community faces is an important step towards understanding and acceptance. Value diversity and try to have an inclusive attitude towards everyone and everything on this rich and beautiful planet.

Images: Unsplash, Pexels

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