Battling Depression, Rediscovering Hope Through Music

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Image drawn by a second grader from Western Academy of Beijing

Disclaimer: This content discusses teenagers coping with depression, including mentions of self-harm. Approach with sensitivity. If you or someone you know faces similar challenges, please seek professional assistance.

(Anonymous Interviewee: Names have been changed to protect the interviewee's privacy.)

For over two hours, I conversed with 17-year-old Eve about her challenging teenage years. I have only heard her story from others; my desire to listen to her firsthand accounts proved to be enlightening. She grew up attending a local school in Beijing; as her peers embarked on their first year of high school filled with excitement and tension, Eve was thrust into "the most peculiar experience."

The Beginning of Eve's Depression

Ironically, her school was a breeding ground for whispers and mockery resembling something out of movies or TV shows, with classmates being targeted one after another. The escalating violence led to Eve eventually being targeted.

"People need to understand that depression is not a choice; it is an illness." - Eve

She was labeled as quiet, weird, or even pretending to be sick when depression was gorging on her like a beast. I've always thought parents are the ones most capable of showing understanding, if not acknowledgment, of their children's situation, but that image was shattered. Her father, who had always been distant with Eve, was in denial of her situation. "He always urged me to 'just think positively'."

"Sometimes, if understanding is not achievable, quietly accompanying someone may be the best approach. Still, do not give up; accept the child's situation, and become a strong support." - Eve

Eve's Struggles

While everyone was enthralled by a beautiful sunset, all Eve could see were her own struggles, where "everything appears gray, and there is no hope in anything. It's like having a layer of filter."

A "gray filtered" photo captured by Eve during her struggle with depression in 2021.

Throughout her battle, the value of life became a topic of dispute for Eve, and she found herself contemplating giving up and accepting things as they were. "When I saw a window in school, I thought about jumping out." She prayed and prayed…faith reminded her of her goals, family, dreams. 

After calming down, Eve tried talking to people about it, like her mother, who listened to her confession and told other people's stories to encourage her. "I was lucky," Eve added. Why is luck a factor? She remarked that not everyone has the privilege of having such supportive parents as her mom. 

Though confession seemed difficult, each utterance of truth brought forth heartfelt conversations that alleviated her condition, causing her challenge to diminish. 

Eve Discovers Hope Through Her Passion.

Her passion for music brought color to her otherwise gray world. She fondly recalled singing with a bottle in her hand, using it like a microphone, expressing herself through songs. She also developed a strong interest in stage performances, which filled her with energy and a positive outlook. Among her favorite artists were (G)I-dle, Seventeen, Aespa, and TNT.

KPOP group (G)I-DLE

After a year of therapy sessions, endless conversations with her mother, and medication, the trembling hands, despair, and loneliness slowly faded away from her life. This tumultuous experience has become a catalyst, granting her immeasurable gifts of appreciation, boldness, and resilience. 

I see her in church often, with a real microphone in her hand this time, singing melodies that once provided solace to her struggles, but now she shares that solace with others. As I witnessed her on stage, I couldn't help but realize that every challenge brings unexpected rewards and a fresh perspective. Obstacles no longer hinder her progress but become building blocks for things beyond the present - just as a butterfly must fight its way out of a cocoon to gain the ability to fly.

Disclaimer: This content discusses teenagers coping with depression, including mentions of self-harm. Approach with sensitivity. If you or someone you know faces similar challenges, please seek professional assistance.

个人观点，仅供参考

This article originally appeared on 少有人走的路 PathTaker.

Images: 少有人走的路 PathTaker, Sofia Alejandra via Pexels (cover image)

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