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15分钟,把英语写得更地道

2015-06-26 写作红宝书 英文联播

How to Improve Your Writing Style in 15 Minutes

1. 简而言之


炼句的根本在于使用更简单的词汇。简单词汇,无论动词、名词、形容词,都有更多的内涵,复杂的词却更多特指,所以越是简单,出错机会越少,用那些更易懂的词替换那些不怎么熟悉的词。

Exercise

重写下面句子:

We promote the cause of peaceful unification.

We promote the peaceful unification.


We anticipate utilizing hundreds of reams of recycled copy paper in the foreseeable future.

We expect to use hundreds of reams of recycled copy paper.


That dog is the epitome, the very quintessence, of canine excellence.

That dog is a very good breed.


All enterprises must pay attention to promoting excellent workers.

All enterprises must promote excellent workers.


There is considerable evidential support for the assertion that carrot juice is good for you.

(Now, Try to rewrite it)



2.短句优先


让行文晓畅的方法是限制使用长句,最简单的办法是把长句分割为两三个短句。要学会长短句结合使用,让结构错落有致,文气畅通。


一般而言,短句更加有力,穿插使用短句可以增加文章的动感。

I like bear. Beer explains more about me than anything in he world. Who am I? I am the beer man--at least that is what many of my close friends call me.


有人主张“topic sentence, one-line rule”(主旨句一行法则)。使用短句也不是说所有句子都要很短,当然如果如此也自成风格。下面是一段黑啤酒的广告。

Dark is different. Dark is exquisite. Dark is discerning. Dark is determined. Dark is mysterious. Dark is sensual. Dark is smooth. Dark is the other side of one's desire.

Exercise

重写下列句子:

Leadership—whether on the battlefield or in another area, such as politics or business—can take place either by example or command, and Alexander the Great, renowned in both history and legend, is a good example of a military leader who led by both command and personal example, whereas Gandhi and Mother Teresa, both famous for their devotion to great causes, provide instances of people leading primarily by the power of inspiring personal example.


Leadership can take place either by example or command. Alexander the Great is an example of a military leader who did both. Gandhi and Mother Teresa, on the other hand, led primarily by the inspiring power of personal example.


I entered the Neurological Faculty of the hospital and endured the next three months undergoing various diagnostic tests including EEG monitoring, in which my brain's electrical rhythms where monitored by electrodes placed on my scalp held by adhesive glue to record activity over a period of time, daily blood testing and blood counts, and all the required tests which subjected my brain to further diagnostic imaging from CAT scanning to an MRI, to the costly PET scanning and even the painful spinal fluid testing.


I entered the Neurological Faculty of the hospital and endured three months of diagnostic tests including EEG monitoring, daily blood testing and blood counts. EEG monitoring, subjected my brain to electircal rhythms after electrodes were attached to my scalp. Other diagnostic tests scrutinized my brains: CAT scans, MRIs, costly PET scans and even painful spinal fluid testing.



3.消除冗余


中文中有不少词语纯属冗余,如“不切实际的幻想”和“毫无根据的诽谤”,好像世界上还有“切合实际的幻想”和“有根有据的诽谤”,在英文写作中,经常把这种思维带入到文章中,如"beginner who lacks experience"。

Exercise

重写下列句子。

Employees should be ready, willing and able to adhere to the company dress code and not wear casual clothes when more formal attire is required.

Employees should adhere to the company dress code and not wear casual clothes when more formal attire is required.


The ultimate conclusion is that physical and psychological symptoms are intertwined and difficult to separate.

The conclusion is that physical and psychological symptoms are intertwined.


These events--water shortages, chronic overcrowding, and rampant disease--have combined together to create to serious crisis.

Water shortage, chronic overcrowding and rampant disease have combined to create a crisis.


She has been deliberately chosen to work for UNESCO.

She has been chosen to work for UNESCO.



4.慎用限定词

偶尔使用限定词显得你很理性,可用得太多就不搞了,过多的使用让人觉得你不够果断,缺少判断。谨慎使用mostly, most, a bit, highly, just, kind of, pretty, quite, rather, really, slightly, so, still, somewhat, sort of, fairly.


Exercise

重写下列句子。

This rather serious leak may possibly shake the very foundations of the intelligence world.

This serious leak may shake the foundations of the intelligence world.


Needless to say, auditors should remain independent of the companies that they audit.

Auditors should remain independent of the companies that they audit.



5.避免自我指涉


少用I believe, I feel, in my opinion,不用你提醒,人家知道你写的东西就是你的观点。

Exercise

重写下列句子。

My own experience shows me that alcohol is a fine social lubricant.

Alcohol is a fine social lubricant.



6. 主动态优先

一般而言主动比被动更有力量、更直接,也更简洁。有一些情况我们有意使用被动。如有意掩盖施动者:



或为了让行文富有变化。



或者施动者无足轻重。


或者受动者更加重要。


除此之外,最好使用主动形式。

Exercise

重写下列句子。

In premodern times, medical surgery was often performed by inexperienced and ill-equipped practitioners.

In premodern times, inexperienced and ill-equipped practitioners perform the medical surgery.



7.动词优先


写作中名字化很常见,过分的名词化会让句子冗长。reduction of costs最好用reduce cost来表示,precision of measurement最好用precise measurement来代替。


Exercise

重写下列句子。

Amateur cyclists must work on the development of their own training programs.

Amateur cyclists must work to develop their own training programs.



8.平行结构


一个句子中要结构对应,这会让意思清晰。


比较下面两个句子,显然第二句要更加明畅。

In the summer before college, I waited tables, sold magazines and even delivered pizzas.

In the summer before college, I was a waiter at a restaurant, pursued magazine sales and pizza delivery was my third job.


读读肯尼迪这段话。



Exercise

重写下列句子。

All business students learn the basics of accounting, marketing fundamentals and how to do manufacturing.

All business students learn the basics of accounting, marketing and manufacturing.


结构相同的部分可以省略一部分词,但也有一些例外。




9.措辞具体

要言之有物,选用具体的描述性的词语。

第一版:

Corporate profits decreased.

第二版:

Corporate profits decreased becuase costs increased.

第三版:

Corporate profits decreased by 10 percent as overall costs increased by 20 percent.

第四版:

Corporate profits decreased by 10 percent as overall costs increased by 20 percent. In particular, higher salary expenses were the majoy reason for the increase in costs. Higher salary costs were primarily the result of increases in executive compensations; the aggregate wages paid to factory workers actually decreased by 5 percent due to a decrease in the number of overtime hours clocked.


10.性别中性

当对象可能是他或她时,尽量不要用he,这是政治不正确的,尽量选择性别中性措辞。

Exercise

重写下列句子。

Today's chief executive must be extremely well rounded. He must not only be corporate- and civic-minded but also be internationally focused and entrepreneurially spirited.

Today's chief executive must be extremely well rounded. The CEO must not only be corporate- and civic-minded but also be internationally focused and entrepreneurially spirited.



Source:The Little Red Writing Book, by Brandon Royal



End

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