TED：不相信自己的人，连努力的价值都没有（附视频&演讲稿）
在你人生的前进路上，你会越来越发现自信的重要性，请及时把握它并更好掌握获得自信的技能。
今天英语演讲君和大家分享一名专业足球教练在TED上关于提升自信技能的精彩分享，他在演讲中阐述说，要想进他的足球训练班不是看球员视力有多好，踢得有多准，而是是否有自信这个技能。自信不仅仅适用于足球这个行业，而是任何场合都非常重要。这名足球教练教你几招，让你分分钟信心提升百倍。
https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=i0534o68sqb&width=500&height=375&auto=0
In my past life as a soccer coach, once you won a national championship, everyone wants to come play for you.
Really not true. Once you paid them $25,000 a year in scholarships, everybody wants to come play for you. And parents would always come to me and they’d say: “Okay, my son or my daughter wants to come play at your university, what is it that we have to do? You know, what are you looking for?”
And being the Socratic professor that I am, I say, well, what does your son or daughter do? What do they do really well that we’d be interested in? And typically their answers are, well, they’ve got great vision. They’re really good. They can see the entire field. Or, my daughter is the fastest player, there’s nobody that can beat her. Or, my son’s got a great left-footer. Really great in the air and can hit every ball.
I’m like: “Yeah, not bad; but to be quite honest with you, those are the last things I’m looking for. The most important thing? Self-confidence.”
Without that skill, and I use the word skill intentionally, without that skill, we are useless as a soccer player. Because when you lose sight or belief in yourself, we’re done for.
I use the definition of self-confidence to be the ability or the belief to believe in yourself, to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, no matter the adversity. The belief that you can accomplish it – self-confidence.
Some of you are saying, “Great, I don’t have it. I’m so shy. I’ll never do that, bla, bla, bla.”
And you start to drag all the way down here. But, I use the word skill because I believe it can be trained. And I’ll show you a couple of ways in which we do. Hopefully I won’t run out of time. I don’t use any slides because my speech always goes here, or here, or here. So we’ll see which way we get to.
The easiest way to build self-confidence: there’s no magic button. I can’t say: “Hey, this plane is going down, who can fly? Put your hand up.”
“I can, I’m confident!”
Repetition, repetition, repetition. Right?
What does Malcom Gladwell call it, the 10,000-hour rule? There’s no magic button.
I recruited a goalie from Colombia, South America one year. Big, tall 6’3″ man. You know, he had hands like stone. I thought he was like Flipper. Every time I threw him the ball, down, onto the ground. I was like, oh my god, we’re in trouble.
Simple solution: get to the wall, kick a ball against the wall and catch it. Kick the ball against the wall and catch it.
His goal was 350 a day for eight months. He came back, his hands were calloused, the moisture on his hands were literally gone, he is now playing in Europe. Magic? No.
Repetition, repetition, repetition.
The problem is, we expect to be self-confident but we can’t be unless the skill, or the task we’re doing, is not novel, is not new to us. We want to be in a situation where we have so much pressure in that and what I mean, because pressure builds diamonds, we want to be in a situation where “Hey, I’ve done this a thousand times”.
I did my speech, and I practiced in front of a mirror: bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla. Hey I’m sounding good. And then I went in front of my kids, and my wife. I said, oh gosh, I got a little nervous.
Then I’d get in front of Glenn Gould, Oh my goodness, I am a little more nervous!
By the time I get to the ACG, where 2,500 people, can’t say anymore, right? Twenty-five hundred people, where twenty-five hundred people are there, I won’t have a single ounce of nervousness because of my ability to practice. Right?
Over, and over, and over, again.
The problem with repetition is: how many of us bail after the first bit of failure? How many of us bail after the first bit of adversity? Edison was on that video, and it depends who you ask, there’s anywhere from 1,000 to 10,000 tries to build that light bulb. 1,000 to 10,000.
J.K Rowling should be on that video. Do you know how many publishers she took her Harry Potter book to? I believe the number was 12 or 13…I am pretty confident but after two or three no’s I’d be like: “damn it!”.
After six or seven, I’m like: “maybe not!” Definitely after nine or ten, I’d be looking to be a soccer coach or something else besides an author. Right?
I mean, twelve times somebody said no. But, practice, practice, practice, and do not accept failure.
Maybe it shouldn’t be repetition, maybe the answer should be persistence. Because we all repeat something but very few of us really will persist. So that’s one way to build self-confidence.
Get out there. Do what you want to do and do not accept no.
The other one is self-talk. We all have a self-talk tape that plays in our head. Anybody go shopping and put on a pair of pants this week? If you’re a woman, the first thing that always comes: “Damn I look fat in these pants!.”
And if you’re a man, it’s the opposite: “Oh god, I got no muscle, I’m so flabby!” Right? We all have this tape that plays in our head.
As a student, if they asked me the question, it was like: “Oh, gee please professor don’t pick me, I don’t know the answer.” I’d look down. Right?
If you’re in the b…when I, let me tell you something, and the VP of business admin is here, I shouldn’t repeat this, but when they hired me as an athletics director, I sat in an architect’s meeting, and I am as dumb as a post when it comes to anything to do with numbers and angles.
And they are like: the fundibulator valve of the architectural, uh, what do you think doctor Joseph? Uh, let me look into that for you and get back to you. Right?
I was in a, oh god god, please don’t ask me, please don’t ask me. We all have this negative self-talk that goes in our head.
Guess what? There’s enough people that are telling us we can’t do it. That we’re not good enough. Why do we want to tell ourselves that? We know for a fact that thoughts influence actions. We saw it there with the video Sheldon, Dr. Levy showed.
We know that our thoughts influence actions, why do we want to say that negative self-talk to ourselves? We need to get our own self-affirmations. Muhammad Ali, what was his self-affirmation? I am the greatest! Who else is going to tell you?
There need to be quiet moments in your bedroom, quiet moments when you’re brushing your teeth. That we need to reaffirm: “I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate!” That is my affirmation.
I came from a school of one thousand people, I lived in a town of one thousand people for fifteen years; there’s no reason that I should be in charge of an Athletics department, building maple leaf gardens. But I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate.
If I don’t say it, if I don’t believe it, no one else will.
How do you build self-confidence? Get away from the people who will tear you down. There’s enough of that.
Muhammad Ali, I am the greatest! There is no one better than me. There’s a difference between hubris, and ego, and false pride. It’s just reminding yourself in quiet silent moments, I put it down on a list, it’s right beside my mirror, right? about all the things that make me who I am.
Because I make enough mistakes, and the newspapers will recognize it, and people around me will recognize it; and they’ll tear me down, and pretty soon I’ll begin to believe it.
There was a time when my confidence was really low. There was a time when I took this job when I came from Iowa, I don’t know if I could do it. I had to bring out my self-confidence letter. A letter I wrote to myself when I was feeling good. Ivan, congratulations on getting your PhD before 40. Congra…I am 40, under. Congratulations on winning a national championship. Good job on raising three good kids and marrying the right woman.
I wrote a letter to myself, it was my own brag sheet. My own letter about the things I was proud of. Because there are moments, and we’ll all experience them in our career, in our lives, in our job hunting, in our relationships; when we are not feeling good about who, and what, and where we are.
And I had to bring out that letter and read it time and time again, for a period of about two weeks, to weather me through that storm. It was important.
Stop the negative self-talk. If you watch you’ll see some athletes that have a little bandage, or a little brand around them.
Lance Armstrong is a perfect one. What’s his self-affirmation? Livestrong isn’t a brand, it was to remind him of who he was. Live strong. Then it became a brand. He would move that from one arm to the next arm, when doubt and fear came into his mind. Live strong, put it on there, let’s go. We’ll all have it, we place it.
Two ways to build self-confidence. I’m worried about my time, I’m going to tell you of one way you can build self-confidence in others. We are coaches and educators, we are teachers, we are people who will create value in the world; and in doing that, we are critical by the nature of what we do.
I am a coach, I want you to score a goal. The ball went over high. “Dang it!” The ball went high! “Thank you coach, I know that. Feedback tells me that.”
So what do we do? I need you to put your elbow here, I need you to put your knee over the ball, I need you to follow through. Boom. Land. Great.
Notice, I never made it as a professional. What can we do? We fix mistakes. When I’m fixing that mistake: “Johnny, this is terrible, you need to bend your knee, you need to do this, this.”
What have I done to Johnny’s self-confidence? Bend your knee, then do this, then do this. Next thing you know, Johnny’s crushed. Ignore what Johnny does wrong and find Bob or Sally or Freda over here. Great goal Freda, I love how you kept your knee low, you followed through, and you landed like this. Great job!
Johnny: “Oh?” Great! Johnny’s not demoralized. His confidence isn’t shot, and what I’ve done is, I’ve built up Freda’s. Imagine how we could change the way we parented kids. Instead of: “get that glass off the counter, what’s wrong with you?”
If we catch the mother, good. Great job! Great job. Thank you Alice for taking your glass to the counter. It sounds simple but we forget about it. Or as educators, or as somebody as a team, if we manage to praise the positive behaviour that we wanted to reinforce. We forget it. It sounds so simple.
Catch them when they’re good. We forget it. It’s simple.
Here’s what they did.
There was a study in Kansas that did this. They did video, and we all do video. And we show the video of them doing the run of the play: “Um, this goal happened because the basket wasn’t protected, we didn’t rotate here, right? We needed to do this and then cover the slot.”
And, if that’s the baseline, improvement of the Kansas State team went like this. Then, they said they ignored all of that and they just showed them the times they did it right. The times they did it perfect. That presented no goals, spoke to the same points, improvement went like that.
It changed and revolutionized the way we as coaches interact with our student athletes. We can apply that to the business world, we can apply that to our student group works, we can apply that to our management teams.
Easily: catch them when they are good.
Last and certainly not least. My son is really good at this. Self-confident people interpret feedback the way they choose to. I ask my son who is by the far a terrible, terrible athlete, gets it from his dad.
The game’s…How’s the game? Oh great! I scored three goals, I got two assists. I’m like: “I did not see him touch the puck!” But he has his own perception of how he did! I love it!
Right? I’m the…I’m that guy! I’m like: “I remember when I was taking when I met my wife, it was in the commons. “Paulie, would you like to go to the movies? Ladies? Tingly, tingly, tingle.”
And she goes: “Ah, no.” I asked her again. Because I think that she just hasn’t seen me in the right light.
Maybe, that’s not the wrong shirt on. Right? Because I’m interpreting that the way I want to interpret it.
Finally I asked her out again. She gave me this one comment, right? Or, she sent it to her friend. Because that’s the way you did it back then. “She wouldn’t date you unless there was the last person on Earth, hell was freezing over, there was a small chance we had to save the planet Earth. Some people, it’s like, there’s no chance.
I’m like: “You’re saying there’s a chance.” Right? Because that’s how I’m going to interpret it. If I could give you one thing to take from this, it is: no one will believe in you unless you do.
Listen to the words of that video, here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes. We’re supposed to be different, folks. And when people look at us, believe in yourself.
Thank you.
我曾经是一名足球教练，当赢得过全国冠军后，每个人都想加入到你的队伍中，当然这不是真的，而是当一年的奖学金超过2.5万美金的话，每个人都想加入到你的队伍中。
一些父母来找我，并且他们会说：“我的儿子（女儿）想要在你们学校踢球，我们需要做什么，你们需要什么样的孩子？”作为一个专业的足球从业人员，我会说，他们是做什么的？他们有哪些吸引我们的特质才是我们真正感兴趣的？
通常的回答是，他们视力很好，真的非常好，他们可以看到整个球场的各个角落。或者我女儿跑的非常快，没人可以击败她，或者我儿子左腿很厉害，踢球又狠又准。
我只能说：“还行，可是坦白讲，这些都不是我所期待的最重要的”，最重要的是：自信。如果没有这项技能，是的，我故意用了技能这个词语来表达，如果没有这个技能，即使我们成为足球运动员也没有用。因为一旦你没有视力或者不相信自己，一切都结束了。
我定义自信为在任何情况下不管多大责任，多大困难，多大风险，都相信自己能够完成任务的能力。相信自己能够做到的信念就是自信。一些人说：“嗯，我就是没有自信，我非常害羞，我永远做不到，等等呢”，然后所有的事情你都会归咎于此，但是，我使用了技能这个词语因为我相信它可以被训练。
我会给你展示一些我们常用的方法，希望我不会超时，因为我的讲话总是天马行空所以我没有准备幻灯片，看看我们能讲到什么吧。
最简单的建立自信的方法其实是没有魔法棒，没有捷径，比如我问："那个飞机就要坠落了，谁能拯救。"有人说:"我可以，我很自信"，这谁都不会信。
重复、重复、重复，对吗？马尔科姆的那个理论叫什么来着？10000小时定律，是的，不神秘也没有捷径。
有一年，我从南美洲哥伦比亚招募了一个守门员，1.9米的大块头，手像石头一样坚硬，就像动物的璞，但是每一次我扔球他都接不住，我想我们遇到麻烦了。
最简单的解决办法：找到一堵墙，不停地对着墙踢球并且接住她，他的目标是每天接350个球，持续8个月。结束的时候，他的双手布满了老茧，动作也不再生疏，现在他在欧洲踢球。
很神秘吗？不，就是重复重复重复，事实是，我们希望自信，但是只有当这个技能这个任务我们烂熟于心的情况下才可能，我们希望处在压力下，因为压力使人进步。我们希望处在这个事情我已经做了一千次的情况下，在准备我的演讲时，我对着镜子练了一遍又一遍。嗯，我自己听起来不错了。
但是开始在我孩子、妻子面前练习时，就有些紧张，在格林古德面前，更紧张了，当我站在2500人面前演讲的时候，一定更紧张了。
2500人！2500人在那里！但是我一点都不紧张了，因为我已经练习的足够好了。不断地重复，问题在于：有多少人在第一次失败的时候能够振作起来，多少人能够在面临瓶颈的时候坚持下去。
我们都知道爱地上，杂发明灯泡前，试验了1000次，10000次，J.K罗琳也是，你们知道她给多少出版社寄过《哈利波特》吗？大约12/13家，一开始我很有信心，但是2-3家的拒绝后，我肯定想：去你的。6-7加厚，我可能会质疑自己，9-10家后，我可能会转行做个足球教练，总之其他作家之外的职业，对吗？
我想说，被拒绝12次很难过，但是不断练习，并且对失败说不。也许答案不单单是重复，重要的是坚持，因为我们都在重复一些事情，但是很少有人真正坚持下来。
这是一种建立自信的方法，放开手脚，大胆去做你想做的事情，不惧失败。
另一种是自我激励，我们总是会在脑海中和自己对话， 这周有人去购物中心试裤子了吗？如果你是女人，第一反应肯定是：这个裤子太显胖了，反之，如果你是个男性，你就会觉得：天呢，我怎么没有肌肉，看起来这么松垮。
对吗？我们总会在脑海中进行自我对话，作为一个学生，如果被问到问题，我肯定想：教授，请不要选到我，我不会。然后低下头，对吗？
好吧，我来告诉你一个例子，主管业务的VP也在这里，我本不该这样说的，但当时我被雇佣为领队，在一个建筑师会议上，对那些数字和角度相关的问题一无所知。
当时他们就像这样：这栋建筑的价值......，嗯，约瑟夫博士您怎么看？给我点时间先去调查研究一下再给您回复，好吗？我当时就一直沉浸在：天哪，千万不要问我，千万不要问我。
我们每个人脑海里都有这种消极的对话。已经有足够多的人认为我们做不到了，足够多的人认为我们不够好，为什么我们自己还要这么认为自己呢？
我们都知道意识影响行为，前面谢尔顿教授也给大家分享过了，既然已经知道意识影响行为了，为什么给自己消极的暗示，贬低自己。
我们需要自我认知，穆罕默德阿里的自我认知是什么？我是最厉害的。不然谁还会告诉你，我们需要一些安静的时间给自己，睡觉前或者刷牙的时候。我们需要坚信：“我是自己人生的主宰。”这是我的认知。
我来自一个1000人的学校，在一个1000人的小镇上生活了15年，看起来我似乎没有任何机会管理一个运动部门，或者建立一个枫叶园。但是我是我自己生活的主宰。
如果我自己不鼓励自己，不信任自己，那么谁还会呢？你如何建立自信？远离那些给你负能量的人，因为这世上负能量已经够多了。
穆罕默德·阿里时刻提醒自己：我是最棒的！没有人比我强。这和骄傲自大、自负以及妄自尊大是有区别的。它会在静下来的时候提醒你。
我列了一个我之所以成为我的特质的清单放在我的镜子旁边，因为我犯得错误足够多，报纸会指出来，我周围的人会指出来，他们会打击我。很快让我自己也相信了。
有一段时间我真的很不自信，我从爱荷华州来到这里找到这份工作，我不知道自己是否能够胜任。我只能拿出一份充满自信的信，这是我状态良好的时候写给我自己的。
伊万，祝贺你在40岁之前获得博士学位。我现在还不到40.（哈哈）祝贺你赢得全国比赛。有一份好工作，有一个好妻子和三个可爱的孩子，这是一封我写给自己的自夸信，是我过去真正认为骄傲的事情。
因为在我们的事业生活中，在我们找工作的过程中，在我们的人际关系中，我们都会经历一些时刻，感觉不够自信，迷茫于自己是谁，在哪里，能做什么。
这个时候我会拿出那封信一遍一遍的看，大约两周的时间，会让我度过难关。这很重要，不要再自我贬低。如果你仔细观察，就会发现一些运动员会携带有小的绷带或者小的标识。
兰斯阿姆斯特朗就是个很好的例子。他的自我激励是什么？Livestrong腕带不是一个品牌。它提醒他他是谁以及顽强生活，成为一种信念的标签。他始终带着它，当怀疑和恐惧袭来，提醒他顽强生活，发挥巨大的作用。
已经有两种建立自信的方法。我有点担心我的时间。我接下来会告诉你们一种可以帮助他人建立自信的方法。我们是教练，是教育者，是老师。我们是要给社会带来价值的。在这个过程中，我们要对自己所做事情的本质非常敏感。
我是个教练，我希望你得分。“球太高了，该死，球太高了”。“我知道了，结果已经告诉我了，教练。”所以我们应该怎么做？我需要你把手肘放在这个位置，把膝盖抵住球，大力踢出去，落地，很好。注意，我从未将它专业化。我们应该怎么做呢？
我们要纠错。我怎样纠错的呢：“约翰，这很糟糕，你需要将你的膝盖放低，这样这样这样。”这会对约翰的信心带来什么影响呢？我对他说，弯膝盖，这样这样，会让约翰收到打击。
不要总关注约翰做错了什么，我们去看旁边的鲍勃、塞雷和弗雷德。“好球，费雷德。你做的很棒，放低膝盖，坚持住，射门姿势很对。很好。”约翰会想：“嗯？非常棒？” 约翰不会意志消沉，他没有受到打击。而我们做的，只是建立了弗雷达的信心，树立了这个正确的榜样。
想象我们是否可以改变教育孩子的方式。我们用适当的夸赞、干得好，替代：你疯了吗？把被子拿下来。听起来很简单，但是我们常常忘记这样做。
作为一个教育工作者，或者团队中的一员，我们可以适当夸赞我们认为好的行为。尽管这听起来很简单，但是我们常常忘记。注意到别人的一些优点很简单，但是我们忘记了。
以下是他们所做的。堪萨斯做了一项研究。他们做了录像，我们都做录像。我们看了他们进球的录像：“嗯，这个进球是因为篮网没有保护，我们没有在这里旋转，对吗？我们需要做到这一点，然后覆盖这个位置。”
如果这是底线，堪萨斯队的进步就是这样的。他们说他们忽略了所有这些，他们只是告诉他们做的对的地方。他们做得完美的地方。没有提出任何目标，就这样，进步已经很突出了。
这改变了教练和运动员之间的沟通方式，这同样适用于商业场合，适用于学生团体中，适用于管理团队中。非常简单：关注到他们做的好的地方，并适当夸奖。
最后一点，我儿子做的非常好，自信的人对别人的夸奖有自己的理解方式，我问我儿子谁是他父亲球队迄今为止最厉害的运动员。
比赛…比赛怎么样？哦！我进了三个球，我得到了两次助攻。我想：“我没看见他碰冰球！但他对自己的表现有自己的看法！我很喜欢。
我也是这样的人。我记得我第一次和我妻子说话。我请她去看电影，她拒绝了我。然后我又尝试，因为我觉得可能她见到我的时候光纤不太好。可能T恤穿的不太对。因为我在按照我自己的方式去解读，然后我又问了她一次，通过她的朋友我得到回应，除非世界末日，只剩下我一个男人，她和我约会可以拯救地球。
很多人在这个时候可能 会认为没有机会了。但是我认为：“这还是有机会的。”对，这就是我的理解方式，如果我可以从这个故事告诉你们什么，那就是：除非你做到了某件事情，否则，没人会相信你。
那个视频中都是疯狂的人、不称职的人、叛军、麻烦制造者、不守规则的人。伙计们，我们应该做与众不同的自己，无论别人怎么看你，请相信自己。谢谢。
We’re all victims of occasional bouts of self-doubt, even the most successful, charismatic, confident among us have their moments of insecurity. Self-confidence can be a very delicate and complex thing. A few are born with it; others learn it early on and the rest of us have to learn to build it on our own.
我们每个人都有自我怀疑的时候，即使最成功最能力超群最自信的人有时也会迷茫。自信是一种微妙复杂的东西。有些人天生就很自信；还有一些人很早就学会了自 信，而我们，也要学会建立我们自己的自信心。
Our confidence plays an important role in ability to achieve success and happiness. It affects our mental thought patterns, the way we speak, the way we act, and the decisions we make in all areas of our lives – career, money, relationships, and even our health. Confident people take more action, perform better, and are more likely to attain their goals. In addition, confident people also know how to take more enjoyment from their accomplishments are happier in general.
在通向成功和幸福的道路上，自信发挥着重要作用。它影响着我们的思维模式、说话方式、行为方式以及生活的各方面的决定——事业、金钱、人际关系，甚至我们 的健康。自信的人行动更为果敢，办事效率更高，更有可能实现他们的目标。此外，自信的人也明白如何从自己的成就中得到更多的快乐，生活也更加幸福。
Lucky for us, confidence can be built and strengthened until it becomes natural, just as any other habit. It simply takes a little time, some effort, and a bit of attention.
幸运的是，我们也可以建立并逐步加强我们的自信，直到它变得就像其他习惯一样。建立自信心只需要一点点时间，一点点努力以及一点点专注。
1. Fail More Often
更多的失败
The more challenges you take on, the more failures you’ll have, but learning that you can recover, get up and push forward builds confidence.
挑战越多，失败就越多，但是你要知道，你很快就能从中走出来，并成为你建立自信心的助推器。
2. Track your accomplishments
记录你的成就
Keep a list of successes, big and small. It’ll help you to see your abilities in a more positive (andrealistic) light.
记录下你的每一次成功，无论大小。它会让你用一种更积极（也更为现实）的眼光来看待自己的能力。
3. Don’t compare
不要和别人比较
Stop measuring yourself against others. What you see isn’t always real. Making comparisons is adamaging and an inaccurate measure of success anyway.
不要再拿自己和别人比较了。你看到的并不总是真相。无论如何，与别人比较都是对成功的一种破坏性和错误性的衡量。
4. Dress for confidence
人靠衣装马靠鞍
How we dress affects both how we feel about ourselves and the way others perceive us. Expensivec lothes aren’t necessary. Put emphasis on good fit, good condition, and appropriateness. Don’t be afraid of some color; black is professional, but color gets noticed.
我们的穿着不仅影响着我们自己的心情，也会影响别人对我们的看法。这并不是说必须得穿昂贵的衣服。重点是衣服要搭配好，质地要精良，适合我们的气质。不要 害怕某些颜色；黑色是会让我们看起来更职业一些，但鲜艳的颜色会吸引更多的目光。
5. Work on your posture
良好的姿态
People with lower confidence often tend to have poor posture. Stand up, sit up, and keep your head up. It’s an instant confidence booster.
不自信的人往往姿势也不好。站有站相，坐有坐相，时刻保持昂首挺胸的姿态。这会让你的自信心瞬间膨胀。
6. Learn
学习
The more knowledge you acquire, the more confident you will be. Knowledge is power, and the more powerful you feel, the higher your confidence will be.
学的越多，人就越自信。知识就是力量，知识越丰富，人就越自信。
7. Fitness
健身
Better physical condition and appearance gives you more body confidence, and as a bonus, the extra endorphins give you an added energy boost.
良好的身体状况和外表会让你更加自信，同时，健身所产生的内啡肽会带给你更多的能量。
8. Start a conversation
主动和别人攀谈
When you find yourself in a social situation, instead of gravitating to those people you’re comfortable with, start a conversation with someone you don’t know very well. Eventually getting to know new people will become easier.
社交场合中，不要总是和那些让你感觉舒服的人在一起，要主动和一些不是很熟悉的人交往。这样，你会更容易结识新的朋友。
9. Have miniature goals
小目标和大成功
Bite sized goals are easier and quicker to achieve and the momentum can give you a boost when attacking bigger goals.
小目标实现起来更容易也更快，并能给你实现大目标的动力。
10. Raise your hand
毛遂自荐
Volunteer to take on tasks or projects that are a stretch for you. You’ll learn you can do more than you thought you could and so will others.
主动承担那些能拓展你的能力的项目或工程。你会发现你比想象的更加能干，这是一条放之四海而皆准的真理。
11. Be around confident people
和自信的人在一起
Cultivate relationships with “can- do” people; attitude is contagious. On the other hand, avoid “can’t do” people. It works both ways.
多与自信的人交往；态度是具有感染力的。另一方面，也要尽量避开不自信的消极人士，两种方式都会起作用。
12. Be your own friend
做自己的朋友
When you hear that voice in your head, abusing, attacking and belittling you, remind yourself that a friend wouldn’t talk to you in that manner.
当你听到内心有声音在诽谤你、攻击你、贬低你，告诉自己真正的朋友是不会这样对你的。
13. Rely on your instincts
相信自己的直觉
When you trust your intuition, and listen to those gut feelings, you’ll become more confident inthe knowledge that you do know what’s right for you.
相信并跟随你的直觉，你会更加自信，知道什么最适合自己。
14. Keep practicing
不断实践
Practice the skills you need to succeed. The more you practice, the more confident you become. This is true of every type of skill.
在那些能帮助你实现成功的技能上多加练习。实践的越多就越自信。这对于每一种技能来说都是如此。
Confidence helps you to be more secure in your abilities and more positive in your attitude. It also encourages you to be more assertive to take on more challenges, and to improve your skills. As an added benefit, you’ll attract like-minded people. The end result is a better outlook, more success, and a higher quality of life in all areas.
一个人自信了，就会对自己的能力更加肯定，态度更加积极；也更有劲头接受更多的挑战，并提高自己的技能。此外，自信还会吸引志同道合的人。最终你会拥有更 好的未来，更多的成功，更高质量的生活。
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