TED | 如何保持对生活的热情? - Isabel Allende
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Isabel Allende是一位七十一岁的作家。没错，她的确有一些皱纹，但同时也有很多不可思议的见解。在这率真，男女老少皆宜的演讲中，她讲述自己对于老化过程的恐惧与感慨，并与我们分享她如何继续自己充满热情的生活。
Isabell从开始的时候就在用一个又一个的问题，阐述自己的观点，也让我们可以有机会可以反思：
When do we start aging?
What have I gained?
How can I stay passionate?
https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=m0330207grm&width=500&height=375&auto=0
Isabel Allende：如何保持对生活的热情
背景知识、演讲要点
0:11
Hi, kids.I'm 71. My husband is 76. My parents are in their late 90s, and Olivia, the dog, is 16. So let's talk about aging.
0:31
Let me tell you how I feel when I see my wrinkles in the mirror and I realize that some parts of me have dropped and I can't find them down there. (Laughter)
0:41
Mary Oliver says in one of her poems, "Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Me, I intend to live passionately.
0:56
When do we start aging? Society decides when we are old, usually around 65, when we get Medicare, but we really start aging at birth. We are aging right now, and we all experience it differently. We all feel younger than our real age, because the spirit never ages. I am still 17. Sophia Loren. Look at her. She says that everything you see she owes to spaghetti. I tried it and gained 10 pounds in the wrong places. But attitude, aging is also attitude and health. But my real mentor in this journey of aging is Olga Murray. This California girl at 60 started working in Nepal to save young girls from domestic bondage. At 88, she has saved 12,000 girls, and she has changed the culture in the country. (Applause) Now it is illegal for fathers to sell their daughters into servitude. She has also founded orphanages and nutritional clinics. She is always happy and eternally young.
2:18
What have I lost in the last decades? People, of course, places, and the boundless energy of my youth, and I'm beginning to lose independence, and that scares me. Ram Dass says that dependency hurts, but if you accept it, there is less suffering. After a very bad stroke, his ageless soul watches the changes in the body with tenderness, and he is grateful to the people who help him.
2:52
What have I gained? Freedom: I don't have to prove anything anymore. I'm not stuck in the idea of who I was, who I want to be, or what other people expect me to be. I don't have to please men anymore, only animals. I keep telling my superego to back off and let me enjoy what I still have. My body may be falling apart, but my brain is not, yet. I love my brain. I feel lighter. I don't carry grudges, ambition, vanity, none of the deadly sins that are not even worth the trouble. It's great to let go. I should have started sooner. And I also feel softer because I'm not scared of being vulnerable. I don't see it as weakness anymore. And I've gained spirituality. I'm aware that before, death was in the neighborhood. Now, it's next door, or in my house. I try to live mindfully and be present in the moment. By the way, the Dalai Lama is someone who has aged beautifully, but who wants to be vegetarian and celibate? (Laughter)
4:23 Meditation helps.
4:26 (Video) Child: Ommm. Ommm. Ommm.
4:30
Isabel Allende: Ommm. Ommm. There it is. And it's good to start early.
4:34
You know, for a vain female like myself, it's very hard to age in this culture. Inside, I feel good, I feel charming, seductive, sexy. Nobody else sees that. (Laughter) I'm invisible. I want to be the center of attention. I hate to be invisible. (Laughter) (Applause)
4:57
This is Grace Dammann. She has been in a wheelchair for six years after a terrible car accident. She says that there is nothing more sensual than a hot shower, that every drop of water is a blessing to the senses. She doesn't see herself as disabled. In her mind, she's still surfing in the ocean. Ethel Seiderman, a feisty, beloved activist in the place where I live in California. She wears red patent shoes, and her mantra is that one scarf is nice but two is better. She has been a widow for nine years, but she's not looking for another mate. She says that there is only a limited number of ways you can screw — well, she says it in another way — and she has tried them all. (Laughter) I, on the other hand, I still have erotic fantasies with Antonio Banderas — (Laughter) — and my poor husband has to put up with it.
6:04
So how can I stay passionate? I cannot will myself to be passionate at 71. I have been training for some time, and when I feel flat and bored, I fake it. Attitude, attitude. How do I train? I train by saying yes to whatever comes my way: drama, comedy, tragedy, love, death, losses. Yes to life. And I train by trying to stay in love. It doesn't always work, but you cannot blame me for trying.
6:39
And, on a final note, retirement in Spanish is jubilación. Jubilation. Celebration. We have paid our dues. We have contributed to society. Now it's our time, and it's a great time. Unless you are ill or very poor, you have choices. I have chosen to stay passionate, engaged with an open heart. I am working on it every day. Want to join me?
7:11 Thank you.
7:13 (Applause)
7:18
June Cohen: So Isabel — IA: Thank you.
7:22
JC: First of all, I never like to presume to speak for the TED community, but I would like to tell you that I have a feeling we can all agree that you are still charming, seductive and sexy. Yes?
7:34 IA: Aww, thank you. (Applause)
7:36 JC: Hands down. IA: No, it's makeup.
7:39
Moderator: Now, would it be awkward if I asked you a follow-up question about your erotic fantasies?
7:43 IA: Oh, of course. About what?
7:44 (Laughter)
7:45
Moderator: About your erotic fantasies. IA: With Antonio Banderas.
7:48
Moderator: I was just wondering if you have anything more to share.
7:51
IA: Well, one of them is that — (Laughter) One of them is that I place a naked Antonio Banderas on a Mexican tortilla, I slather him with guacamole and salsa, I roll him up, and I eat him. (Laughter)
8:09 Thank you.
8:10 (Applause)
0:11 嗨，孩子们
0:13 （笑声）
0:15 我今年71岁
0:17
（掌声） 我丈夫76岁 我爸妈90多岁 奥莉维亚（Olivia），我的狗，16岁 让我们来谈谈衰老
0:31
我想告诉你们我的感觉 当我在镜子里看到自己的皱纹 当我意识到身体的某些部分开始往下掉 都不知道掉哪去了 （笑声）
0:41
玛丽•奥利弗（Mary Oliver）在她的一首诗里说 “告诉我，你打算做什么 用你野性而珍贵的一生 ？” 我呢，我想要过得充满激情
0:56
我们什么时候开始变老的呢？ 社会决定了几岁算老 一般来说大概是65岁，我们能用到医保 但其实我们从出生就开始变老了 我们此时此刻就在变老 而且我们的体验都是不一样的 我们都觉得自己比实际年龄年轻 因为精神是不会变老的 我还是17岁 索非亚•罗兰（Sophia Loren），看看她 她说，你看到她的一切 都要归功于意大利面 我试了，然后胖了10磅 胖在不该胖的地方 态度，变老也关乎态度和健康 但我在变老旅途上的真正导师 是欧嘉•马瑞（Olga Murray） 这个加州女孩在60岁的时候 开始在尼泊尔工作 把那儿的年轻女孩们从火坑里救出来 88岁的时候，她已经救了12000个女孩了 她改变了那里的文化 （掌声） 现在（在尼泊尔）父亲要是 把女儿卖去当奴隶是非法的 她还创办了孤儿院 营养诊所 她总是很快乐 而且永远年轻
2:18
我在过去的几十年里失去了什么？ 失去了一些人，当然 失去了一些地方，和青春带给我的无尽能量 我开始失去自立的能力 这让我害怕 拉姆·达斯（Ram Dass）说：依赖是伤人的 但如果你接受它，就能少点痛苦 在一次严重的中风之后 他不老的灵魂 温柔地看着身体的所有变化 他开始对那些帮助他的人心存感激
2:52
我得到了些什么呢？ 自由：我不必再证明任何东西了 我不再纠结于我是谁 我想变成谁 或者别人期待我变成什么样了 我不再需要去取悦别人 动物除外 我一直叫我的超我别过来 好让我享受我仍拥有的一切 我的身体可能在散架 但我的大脑还没有 我爱我的大脑 我还觉得轻松多了 我不再有恩怨，野心，虚荣 七宗罪甚至都不是事 放手，是件很棒的事 我该更早学会的 我也觉得自己更柔软了 因为我不再因为脆弱而感到害怕 我不再把它看成是软弱 我还多了几分灵性 我以前觉得 死亡就在附近 现在呢，它就在隔壁，或者就在我屋子里 我努力用心生活 活在当下 顺便说一句，达赖喇嘛 算是老得很漂亮 但谁愿意成为素食加单身呢？ （笑声）
4:23 冥想挺有用的
4:26 （视频）小孩：唵，唵，唵。
4:30
唵，唵。就像这样 而且越早开始越好
4:34
你知道，像我这样虚荣的女性 在现在这样的文化环境里是很难变老的 我觉得我自己很好，很有魅力，很妖媚，很性感 但别人都看不到。（笑声） 我是隐形的 我想成为瞩目的焦点 我讨厌自己隐形 （笑声）（掌声）
4:57
这是格蕾丝・达曼（Grace Dammann） 因为一场车祸 她坐轮椅已经六年了 她说，没有什么比冲个热水澡 更感性的事情了 每一滴水滴 都是一种感官的享受 她不觉得自己是残疾 在她心里，她一直都在海里冲浪 艾塞尔・赛德曼（Ethel Seiderman） 在我住的加利福尼亚 是个好强而可爱的活动家 她总穿一双招牌的红鞋 她的口头禅是：一条围巾固然好 但两条更好 她已经守寡九年了 但她不想再找个伴 她说，做爱的方法 就那么几种 好吧，这不是她的原话 她说她都已经试过了 （笑声） 我就不一样 我仍然对安东尼奥·班德拉斯（Antonio Banderas） 抱有性幻想 （笑声） 我可怜的丈夫只能忍
6:04
我要怎么让自己保持激情呢？ 71岁的人不是说激情就能激情的 我训练自己有一段时间了 当我觉得平淡无聊的时候，我就假装自己充满激情 态度，还是态度 我怎么训练自己呢？我训练自己 对所有的事情说Yes 无论情节，无论悲喜 对爱，对死亡，对失去 对生活，说Yes 我训练自己心存爱意 这并不是一直都管用的 但至少我在试
6:39
最后一点 退休在西班牙语里叫 jubilación 就是喜庆，庆祝的意思 我们都缴了税 也都对社会有所贡献了 现在我们的好日子来了，精彩的日子 除非你病了或很穷 你有很多选择 我选择了保持激情 敞开胸怀 我每天都在这样努力 想跟我一起吗？
7:11 谢谢 （掌声）
7:18 主持人: 那么伊莎贝 IA: 谢谢
7:22
主持人: 首先 我不太喜欢代表 TED 社群发言 但我想告诉你我觉得 我们都一致同意 你依然有魅力，妩媚跟性感。对吗？
7:34 IA: 谢谢 （掌声）
7:36 主持人: 毫无疑义 IA: 只是化妆啦
7:39
主持人: 现在呢，如果我追问一个问题 关于你的性幻想，会不会有点尴尬？
7:43 IA: 当然好。关于啥来着？
7:44 （笑声）
7:45
主持人: 关于你的性幻想 IA: 是跟安东尼奥·班德拉斯（Antonio Banderas）
7:48
主持人: 我只是想说你会不会还有更多要分享
7:51
主持人: 好吧，说一个吧 （笑声） 其中一个是这样的： 我把裸体的安东尼奥·班德拉斯（Antonio Banderas） 放在墨西哥玉米饼上 往他身上涂满鳄梨酱和莎莎酱 然后卷起来，把他吃掉。（笑声）
8:09 谢谢 （掌声）
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