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TED | 怎样成为一个精神强大的人？
生活中我们常常因为糟糕的事情而产生各种负面情绪，我们必须直面自己的情绪，并深入地了解我们究竟是因为什么原因而产生这些不健康的情绪，并学会控制自己的情绪，从而成为我们自己想要成为的人。
心理治疗师、畅销书作者Amy Morin，通过自己的经历告诉大家如何做出改变，摆脱过去，战胜挫折。
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Mentally strong people don’t sit aroundfeeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them.Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand thatlife isn’t always easy or fair.
1. 他们不会浪费时间自怨自艾内心强大的人不会抱怨客观条件或是挑剔别人如何对待他们，他们对自己的人生负责并且明白，生活总有坎坷，也并不总是公平的。
2. They don’t give away their power They don’t allow others to control them,and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like,“My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in controlover their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.
2. 他们不会将主动权拱手让人他们不允许别人来掌控他们的人生。他们绝不会说“我的老板让我很生气”这样的话，因为他们明白，每个人都应该有控制自己情感的能力，如何对外界做出反应是个人的选择。
3. They don’t shy away from change Mentally strong people don’t try to avoidchange. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible.They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities toadapt. 3. 他们不惧怕改变内心强大的人不会躲避改变，相反，他们喜欢积极的改变，并愿意保持灵活的态度，他们明白改变是必然的，也相信自己有适应变化的能力。
4. They don’t waste energy on things theycan’t control You won’t hear a mentally strong personcomplaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what theycan control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing theycan control is their attitude.
4. 对于无法控制的事情，他们不会白白耗费精力内心强大的人从不会因为机场弄丢了行李或是堵车而大肆抱怨，相反，他们会将精力集中在他们可以控制的事情上，他们明白，在一些状况下，我们唯一能够控制的是我们的态度。
5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone Mentally strong people recognize that theydon’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no orspeak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle otherpeople being upset if they didn’t make them happy. 5. 他们不取悦他人内心强大的人明白他们不需要每时每刻取悦所有人，他们不害怕拒绝别人，在适当的时候也不害怕表达自己不同的观点，他们有承受力欣然接受别人对自己不满。
6. They don’t fear taking calculated risks They don’t take reckless or foolish risks,but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend timeweighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fullyinformed of the potential downsides before they take action.
6. 他们不害怕风险他们当然不会贸然行事或是故意做出愚蠢的行为，但是他们不害怕理性地冒险。内心强大的人在做出重大决定之前会花时间仔细考量风险和收益，在他们行动之前，他们对可能出现的负面状况已经非常充分了解了。
7. They don’t dwell on the past Mentally strong people don’t waste timedwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledgetheir past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’tconstantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead,they live for the present and plan for the future. 7. 他们不会沉湎于过去内心强大的人不会浪费时间无谓地后悔过去的事情，他们接纳自己的过去，并明白自己从中学到了什么，他们既不会对过去的痛苦经历无法释怀，也不会对过去的成就念念不忘，他们活在当下，计划未来。
8. They don’t make the same mistakes overand over Mentally strong people accept responsibilityfor their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’tkeep repeating those mistakes over and over. 8. 他们不会一遍又一遍地犯同样的错误内心强大的人为自己的行为负责，并从过去的错误中学到教训，所以他们不会重复同样的错误。
9. They don’t resent other people’s success Mentally strong people can appreciate andcelebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feelcheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comeswith hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance atsuccess. 9. 他们不会对他人的成功心生妒忌内心强大的人懂得欣赏他人，并会为他人的成功而感到快乐，当别人超过自己时，他们不会嫉妒或是不满，相反，他们明白成功来源于努力，并愿意为自己的成功付出劳动。
10. They don’t give up after the firstfailure Mentally strong people don’t view failureas a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow andimprove. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right. 10. 一次失败不会让他们放弃内心强大的人不认为失败是放弃的理由，相反，他们将失败当作是学习和进步的机会，他们愿意不断尝试，知道成功为止。
11. They don’t fear alone time Mentally strong people can tolerate beingalone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with theirthoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their owncompany and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment allthe time but instead can be happy alone. 11. 他们不害怕独处内心强大的人能够独处，不害怕安静，他们会利用独处的时间思考，去做有意义的事，他们不会时刻以来别人的陪伴，独处也可以很快乐。
12. They don’t feel the world owes themanything Mentally strong people don’t feel entitledto things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would takecare of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look foropportunities based on their own merits. 12. 他们不认为世界欠自己什么内心强大的人不认为任何事情是理所当然的，没有人有责任照顾他们，世界也不欠他们什么，所有机会都必须要靠自己的能力来争取。
13. They don’t expect immediate results Whether they are working on improving theirhealth or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’texpect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the bestof their ability and understand that real change takes time.
13. 他们不急切地想得到回报不论是努力健身或是开创新的事业，内心强大的人都不会期望马上得到回报，相反，他们尽自己所能地付出，并且明白，真正的改变需要时间。
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