新年反思：如何走好下一步？
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老桑说
又到了我们一年一度的总结前一年、展望下一年的时刻了，你是否已经整装待发迎接2018年新的挑战了呢？
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「 朋友，你好，我是老桑。 」
人们一直以来都有设立“新年决心”的传统，下决心在新的一年对于自身不满意的地方作出改变。我们可以设定一个将会改善我们个人生活或职业发展的目标，比如减肥、存钱、学习语言，或更多地陪伴家人和朋友。
无论你所设立的计划是什么，头脑中都需要有一个清醒的计划安排，A goal without a plan is just a wish（没有计划的目标只能是空想）。在之前的“七日挑战”（后台回复关键词“七日挑战”即可阅读）系列活动中，我曾向大家提供了如何设立目标并成功执行下来的几个步骤。
然而，有时候你需要的并不仅仅是一个目标或者计划。正所谓“万丈高楼平地起”，有了明确的目标和计划后，更需要脚踏实地的努力和积淀。
史蒂芬·柯维在他的畅销书《高效能人士的七个习惯》（The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People）中介绍了七个帮助人们改变自己的好习惯，引导了许多人走向成功。
在他的书中，柯维并没有强调一定要设定具体的目标，他反而重点突出了要养成能够支持我们达成目标的有效的好习惯。这些习惯作为基本元素构成了我们每个人的性格，让我们每个人形成不同的解决问题的思维，帮助我们最大限度地利用机会，在不断学习中“呈螺旋式上升”地成长。
有了良好的基础，我们就有了无限的选择。
在今天的文章中，由于篇幅有限，我将不会展开讨论书中提到的所有七种习惯。实际上这本书的写作方式也是这样：循序渐进，一个习惯一个习惯地去培养。柯维写道，行为的变化是渐进的，他鼓励读者去一步一步地采取行动。
那么，在这新的一年开始之际，让我们一起来看看好习惯的养成该如何开始呢。
Habit 1: Be Proactive 习惯1: 积极主动
To be proactive（积极主动）意味着你不要受限于客观情况，而是要根据实际情况来调整方法去实现你的目标。正如柯维在书中所写：“我们的行为由我们自己决定，这并不是我们所面对的条件。”
例如，人们经常对我说：“桑老师，我真的想提高自己的英语水平，可是我已经很多年都没有碰过英语了，以前的基础也不太好。因为自己无法达到理想的托福成绩，又不能通过其他方法提高，所以我就放弃了。”
这是一个reactive thinking“消极思维”（或“被动思维”）的例子，你根据情绪和外在环境（比如过去学习英语的困难，以及超过了有效学习英语的时期）来下决定。
柯维写道，我们面对生活中的挑战的态度是至关重要的，“最重要的是我们如何看待我们过去的经历”。我们都会面临困难或挑战，但如何处理这些挑战是我们自己的选择。
如果你的目标是在经历多次失败之后继续提高英语水平，那么a proactive approach（“积极主动”的做法）就是“我可以采取另一种不同的方法来试试”。你应该主动搜集与学习英语有关的信息和资料，定制自己的学习计划安排，而不是在没有做出任何努力之前就接受你会又一次被打败的假设。
柯维在书中解释说，我们的生活其实两个“圈”之间的平衡：关注圈（Circle of Concern）和影响圈（Circle of Influence）。关注圈是指我们所在意、关心的事情，影响圈是指我们能做的事情。
如果你在担心一颗流星将会撞击地球的话，那么这件事就在你的关注圈之中，但实际上你并没有办法去做些什么事情来影响流行撞击地球。除此之外，你的关注圈中一定还有其他更具有操作性的事情，比如减肥或者加薪等等。这些事情就在你的关注圈和影响圈都能覆盖到的地方。
一个积极主动的人会主动扩展自己的影响圈，以更好地解决关注圈中他所关心、在意的事情。
换句话说，一个积极主动的人会将他的关注圈控制在一定范围内，将更多的精力用来扩展自己的影响圈，这样才能够更加集中精力到具体的事情上。而一个不积极主动、受制于客观条件的人，则会让其关注圈限制了影响圈的发展，很难解决生活中在意的事情。
反思一下，你更聚焦于自己的关注圈还是影响圈呢？柯维在书中说道，如果过于强调我们的关注圈，则会限制我们的效率，然而当我们将更多的精力放在影响圈上时，我们的效率则会提高。因此，这样的好习惯会为我们实现目标奠定了良好的基础。
如果你希望花更多的时间陪伴亲戚朋友，但是你忙碌的工作却不允许，受制于客观条件的人会因没有时间而放弃陪伴朋友的想法。但是一个积极主动的人则会通过调整自己的工作安排，努力挤出时间来陪伴他人。
柯维建议人们尝试“30天主动性实验”来提高人们的效能，使人们的影响圈得以扩大。在这一个月的时间里，关注于自身的影响圈，做一些在自己控制范围之内的事情。你能够更好地了解自己关注圈中的事情——哪些可以解决而哪些不能。当你认为你“应该”做某件事时，将精力放在你“有能力”做什么事情上会更有效果。
你关注什么事情呢？
你又能为此做什么呢？
我非常希望你能够尝试着做一下，并在评论区与我分享你的感受。我真心地想要看到你们每个人身上产生的积极变化。
My friend，新的一年是反思自己目标以及其进行情况的最好时机。为了帮助你更好地实现你的目标，你可以多去想一想哪些行为能够更好地支持你、服务你。
如果你愿意尝试这个“30天主动性实验”，我保证你会发现身边更多的机会，克服身边存在已久的限制，发挥你的潜能推动你继续前行。
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谢谢收看《老桑说》。
给你启发，激励你上进，陪伴你坚持。
敬请期待下一集。
New Year Reflection: What’s Next?
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「 Hello, my friend,
I’m John Smagula. 」
It’s that time of year when we reflect on the past year and look forward to the next. Are you ready to conquer your goals in 2018?
A new year’s resolution is a tradition where we resolve to change an undesired trait or behavior about ourselves. We may set a personal or professional goal that we think will improve our lives. These goals often include to lose weight, save money, learn a language, or spend more time with family and friends.
To achieve whatever goal you have in mind, it’s important to put together a plan. A goal without a plan is just a wish. In my 7-Day Challenge series, I provided you with the steps needed to create goals and carry through with your plan.
Yet sometimes you need more than a goal and a plan to succeed. You’ll also need a strong foundation to support you in your effort.
Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a timeless bestseller that has helped many people toward success. His book sets forth seven lessons that cause personal change.
In his book, Covey does not focus on setting specific goals. Rather, he writes about the habits of effectiveness needed to support our goal achievement. These life habits form the basis of our character, creating a personal environment where we can better solve problems, maximize opportunities, and continually learn “in an upward spiral of growth.”
With good basics, you’ll have endless options.
A discussion of all seven habits falls outside the scope of today’s post, and in fact, the book is written in such a way that it’s better to acquire one habit before moving on to the next. Covey writes that behavioral change is incremental, and he encourages readers to take things one step at a time.
So, as we start a new year, let’s take a look at where to begin.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
To be proactive means that you do not let your circumstances limit you, but that you work with your circumstances to achieve your goals. As Covey writes, “Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.”
For example, people often say to me, “John, I really want to improve my English, but I haven’t studied the language in many years, and I never studied it well to begin with. Since I won’t get a good TOEFL score or otherwise be able to improve, I’m just not going to bother.”
This is an example of reactive thinking. You let your circumstances (such as past English study limitations and time passed from active schooling) define your current reality.
Covey writes that our attitudes about life’s challenges are critical, and that “what matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life.” We all face difficulties, but how we deal with them is our own choice.
If your goal is to improve your English after many years of lapse, a proactive approach would be, “Let me look at my alternatives. I can choose a different approach on how to proceed.” Rather than assume you will be defeated, you instead collect information on language study, search out resources, and then create a plan to help accomplish your goals.
Covey explains that our life is a balance between two different circles: our Circle of Concern and our Circle of Influence. The Circle of Concern is what you care about…and what you worry about. The Circle of Influence is what you can do something about.
If you are concerned about a meteor hitting the earth, that would be in your Circle of Concern, but since there’s not much you can do about it, it falls outside your Circle of Influence. There are other more manageable concerns you might have, though, such as weight loss or increasing your salary. These fall within your Circle of Concern and your Circle of Influence.
A proactive person seeks to expand his Circle of Influence to resolve his concerns.
In other words, the proactive person will try to limit his Circle of Concern, enlarging his Circle of Influence to have a more positive focus. A reactive person, though, lets his Circle of Concern limit his Circle of Influence.
Are you focused on your concerns or your abilities? Covey writes that extreme focus on our concerns will limit our effectiveness, but if we focus on what we can do, our effectiveness increases. This habit, then, sets a good foundation for setting attainable goals for yourself.
If your concern is to spend more time with friends, but you are too busy at work, a reactive person would give up because there is no time. A proactive person, however, would think about how to adjust his work schedule to try to spend more time with others.
To cultivate this mindset, Covey suggests we try a 30-Day Proactivity Test toward higher effectiveness. For one month, stay focused on your Circle of Influence, working on things you have control over. Be aware of your concerns and realistic about which ones you can address. When you feel like you “should” do something, focus on what you “can” do.
What can you do about it?
Please try this exercise and share your comments with me. I would really like to witness your path to personal change.
My friend, a new year is a great time to reflect on your goals and where you are going this year. To help you achieve your goals, think also about behavioral changes that will support your effort.
If you try this 30-Day Proactivity Test, I’m confident you’ll see the world as one of opportunities and not limitations, bringing forth the strengths and skills to propel you forward.
Happy New Year!
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Thank you for watching me to inspire, encourage, and accompany you.
See you next time.
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