不念旧恶，方得美好
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看英文内容，请直接滑动到底部。
老桑说
朋友，你好！我是老桑。
在跨年夜，我收到并送出了无数的祝福，每一份祝福都令我深受感动。
在这里，我再次祝愿所有的读者朋友们新年快乐，祝大家2018年一切顺利！
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我的许多朋友都在微信和微博等平台分享了关于“2017年通向2018年”的图片。
意味着 “2017年已经结束，我们正在迈向辉煌的2018年”。
也意味着一种希望2018年将比2017年更加美好的心愿，庆祝一个美好的未来。
元旦的时候我在费城，我在Facebook和Twitter上也看到了类似的帖子。
在我晚上正在思考自己2018年的目标时，我的邻居们用烟花点亮了费城的夜晚。
看来无论是在中国还是美国，庆祝新年的到来是一个共同的传统。
在西方，一个普遍的新年传统是唱苏格兰诗歌“Auld Lang Syne”（《友谊天长地久》），意思是“逝去已久的日子”。
这首歌是关于纪念朋友和回忆过去的一年的，主要歌词是：
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?
怎能忘记旧日朋友心中能不怀想，
旧日朋友岂能相忘友谊地久天长。
这首歌的主要思想是，我们铭记上一年带给我们积极影响的人和事，我们也期待新的一年将即将发生的美好。
其中蕴含的意思是，我们应该学会放弃某些东西。
在我的《圣诞特辑：生活多美好，你有多重要》一文中，我提到了《生活多美好》这部电影。
在电影中，经历了一段难忘的旅程的乔治·贝利返回现实生活中之后，一家人终于得以团聚。
电影的结局，许多邻居和朋友们欢聚一堂，共同纪念这一美好的时刻，最后大家齐声高歌《Auld Lang Syne》。
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在英语中，“emotional baggage（情感包袱）”是指过去的经历带来的痛苦回忆、不信任和持续伤害，这种情感包袱会给我们的行为和状态带来负面的影响。
如果你的一个朋友不断地沉浸在过去痛苦的记忆之中难以自拔的话，你可以说：“He carries too much emotional baggage. It really gets in his way.”（他的情感包袱太重，阻碍了他前行的路）。
这个词经常出现在约会的场景中，比如：“你不会想和她约会的！她刚刚和前男友分手，感情包袱很重！”与此同时，如果你真的爱对方，你可以帮她“解开”那个情感包袱，这样她就可以继续轻松地开始新的旅途了！
我们已经进入了2018年，你还会带着2017年的情感包袱继续前行吗？
或许换一种问法更为贴切：新的一年，我们需要放下什么呢？
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博大精深的中国成语给了我很大的启发，比如“既往不咎”和“不计前嫌”。
它们都表达了相似的意思：即使过去有人冤枉过我们，或使我们丢了面子，但我们仍然可以翻页，原谅过去的不愉快。
在英语中，我们常说“forgive and forget”（不念旧恶），这与上面两个成语的意思相近，都是希望人们能够原谅曾经伤害过我们的人，并且忘掉那些不愉快的经历。
可能大家会对“忘记”这一词产生一些误解。“忘记”并不意味着你需要完全忘记了某件事，天真地让一个不知悔改的人再次伤害你。相反，通过宽恕他人，你的内心将会少一分怒气，多一分安宁。当你生气和发怒的时候，你最终会伤害的还是自己。
这么多年来，我也经历过许多令我我生气的事情。朋友让我失望，同学和同事伤害我，学生们也不尊重我。
虽然这些事情并不经常发生，但已经足以对我产生不好的影响，这些都是生活的一部分。然而，与其将这些担子和包袱压在自己身上，使自己产生不良的情绪，我选择把它们看成是对方的问题，原谅他们，然后放手。
如果你不能原谅他人，那你就是让对方战胜了你；而当你选择不念旧恶时，你就战胜了一切。我没有忘记那些伤害我的人和事，如果这些人还在我身边我一定会更加谨慎地与他们相处，把握一个良好的尺度。
原谅的过程就是你放下自身“情感包袱”的过程。
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随着2018年的开始，你的心中有没有需要放下的情感包袱呢？
比如一个曾经冒犯过你的亲戚， 一个曾经背叛你的朋友，或者一位说你闲话的同事？The list goes on（这些例子不胜枚举）。
面对这些情感包袱，你该怎么做呢？当你选择为自身着想而试着原谅时，这个包袱就更容易被你扔掉了。
My friend，宽恕的力量是非常大的。
在新的一年，我们需要不念旧恶，这样才能更好的前行。
将那些烦心事都留在过去的2017年吧，对曾经的事情既往不咎。
在唱《Auld Lang Syne》时请不要忘记过去一年中的美好，带着积极的力量开始2018年的旅程！
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谢谢收看《老桑说》。
给你启发，激励你上进，陪伴你坚持。
敬请期待下一集。
Hello, my friend! I’m John Smagula.
On New Year’s Eve, I sent and received many well wishes. I was really touched by everyone’s graciousness and good will. Once again, best wishes to you in 2018!
Many of my WeChat and Weibo friends shared images of 2017 changing into 2018. The message is that 2017 is now over, and we’re all heading into a glorious 2018. These images suggest that 2018 is going to be better than 2017, so it’s time to celebrate a great future.
I was in Philadelphia on New Year’s Eve, and I saw similar posts on my Facebook and Twitter feeds. As I was reflecting on my own 2018 goals that evening, my neighbors were setting off fireworks that lit up the night. It seems that both in China and the United States, everyone was sharing in traditions to celebrate the New Year’s arrival.
A common tradition in the West is to sing Auld Lang Syne, a Scottish tune that means "for old times' sake.” The song is about honoring one's friends and reminiscing about the past year. Here’s the main verse:
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?
The main idea of this song is that we remember the positive people and events from the previous year, and we also look forward to what the new year will bring. Implied in the meaning, then, is that we should leave certain things behind.
In my Christmas Edition: You Matter! post, I wrote a movie review on It’s a Wonderful Life. In that movie, a family comes back together after the father’s harrowing journey. Many neighbors and friends joined the reunion, and they all sang Auld Lang Syne in the last scene of the movie to celebrate the occasion.
In English, “emotional baggage” refers to painful memories, mistrust, and hurt carried around from past experiences. This baggage has a negative impact on our behavior and attitudes. If one of your friends is constantly bringing up painful past memories that hold back his potential, you could say, “He carries too much emotional baggage. It really gets in his way.”
The term is commonly used on the dating scene. “Oh, you don’t want to date her! She just broke up with her boyfriend and will bring all that emotional baggage along with her.” Yikes! Then again, if you really love the other person, you could help her to “unpack” that emotional baggage so she can travel lightly!
As we jump into 2018, what emotional baggage are you carrying that you can send back to 2017?
Perhaps a better way to ask this question is, who do you need to forgive?
I am inspired by the Chinese idiom, “let bygones be bygones” and it’s related idiom, “disregard past grudges.” These idioms mean that even though someone has wronged us in the past or caused us to lose face, we can still turn the page and forgive the past offenses.
In English, we often say, “forgive and forget.” This has a similar meaning, in which we forgive the person who harmed us, and then forget about the whole incident.
There are some misunderstandings about what “forget” means in this context. I don’t think it means that you completely forget the incident, naively allowing an unrepentant person to hurt you again. Rather, through forgiveness, you don’t hold anger on your heart. When you live with anger and hate, you end up hurting yourself more.
Over the years, friends have let me down, classmates and colleagues have hurt me, and students have disrespected me. It’s not common, but it has happened enough to leave an impact. Unfortunately, it’s a part of life. But rather than carry these burdens with me, I view the offensive conduct as a reflection of the other person’s issues, forgive them, and then let it go.
If you don’t forgive, you let the other person win. When you forgive, you win. I haven’t forgotten the people or incidents that harmed me. If those people are still around me, I am careful in dealing with them, maintaining professional standards and healthy boundaries.
Forgiveness is the process of dropping your emotional baggage.
As you move forward in 2018, is there anyone you need to forgive? Has a relative offended you? A friend betrayed you? A colleague gossiped about you? The list goes on. How can you forgive so these hurts don’t become “emotional baggage” that you carry around? When you see forgiveness in your own best interest, it’s easier to get that baggage out of the way.
My friend, there is power in forgiveness. We must forgive and forget in order to move on and succeed. Leave the past behind in 2017. Let bygones be bygones. And as we sing in Auld Lang Syne, remember the friendships and goodness of the past year, and let that give you energy and strength to enjoy all that 2018 will bring.
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Thank you for watching me to inspire, encourage, and accompany you.
See you next time.
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John Smagula
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