当我等待的时候
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老桑说
“我在等待/尽管过程艰难/但我仍锲而不舍。”
▾
「 朋友，你好，我是老桑。 」
中国火车站
1 ·.
排队！
最近关于中国火车站的新闻层出不穷，又一次向我们展示了春节期间人们排队买票回家过年时的拥挤“盛况”。春运以世界上最大规模的人口迁徙而闻名。而在今年，预计将会由大约30亿趟旅程在这个假期中正蓄势待发。
如果你顺利拿到了火车票，那接下来你就得maneuver（灵活地挤过）火车站的人潮并站在队伍中等待候车了。当然，有一些火车也发售站票，这意味着即使有了车票，你仍然需要站完整趟旅程。这整段经历就如同排在一列永远望不到边的队伍之中。
我曾经排过很多次这样的队伍了，身边的那些乘客们也曾向我表达过他们的焦虑：轮到我的时候窗口还会有票吗？还会有到我目的地车次的余票吗？即便顺利拿到票了，上车之后还会有空间留给我来放行李吗？
2 ·.
Waiting. 等待。
在等待中可能夹杂着各种各样的焦虑。
对于火车旅行来说，你往往无法完全左右最后的结果：你等待的售票口在你到达的时候或闭或开；那张期待已久的车票或有余票或已售罄；上车以后发现留给自己放行李的空间或有或无。倘若最糟糕的事情发生了，你能做的大概也只能是处理好种种突发状况吧。
此外，还有另一种类似打赌形式的等待，比如等待学校的成绩、大学录取通知书、医院检测结果和工作申请等。当你申请你的理想大学时，并不能马上收到决定结果；当你的医生发现你（或者你的爱人）的健康状况不正常，并且要求先进行检测；当你申请一份工作后，等待最终的结果。
3 ·.
Uncertainty. 不确定性。
我认为你能理解身处一种不确定性中的感受，即一种“中间”状态。很多人都能体会到这种焦虑，其程度通常是在一些事件后达到顶峰（比如工作面试的第二天）以及在期待其结果的过程之中（比如高考出成绩的前一天）。在这过程中，那种普遍的不适感令我们常常做出最坏的打算。
心理学家称这种现象为思维反刍，指的是人们倾向于反复思考造成自己焦虑的原因，并且对于结果感到担忧的现象。
我们对于不确定性的tolerance（容忍程度）与我们自身的一种性格特点有关，即“了结需要”。这种需要反映了我们对于完成某件任务的渴望程度。我们通常会在经历不确定的事情时感到沮丧，这是因为我们渴望完成这件事情，但却无法掌控这件事情的结果。
4 ·.
但是，我们依然可以选择如何应对这种不确定性。
在约翰·沃勒的歌曲《While I’m Waiting》（当我等待的时候）中，他流露出等待背后的困苦，并分享了他的解决之道。
“我在等待/尽管过程艰难/但我仍锲而不舍。”他在此向人们揭示了耐心是一种virtue（美德）。
沃勒还在歌曲中唱出了他对于等待所持有的态度。
“在等待之时/我不再昏沉/追风逐影，不息奔跑/即便我还在等待”
换句话说，他认为人生不应当在这些不确定的阶段中处于被搁置的停滞状态。他劝慰我们在等待中保持勇敢与信心，即使我们有最糟糕的打算，但依然应对最好的结果保持期待。
老子也向人们分享了他对于如何解决等待问题的思考，他说：“道恒无为，而无不为。”当你着眼于宏观时，会形成一个对于所有相关事物的全局规划，那些问题总会在事物的发展中按部就班地得以解决。我们所能做的就是尽己所能做到最好，所有的事情也就将会按照我们预想的那样不断发展，所以没有必要忧心忡忡于此。
如果等待对你来说非常艰难，那第一步就是应当认识到你可能常常反复思考其结果。一旦你有这样的意识，你接下来就可以帮助自己克服这样负面的思考方式。
你很有可能这样问自己：“最坏的结果会是什么呢”并对这种可能性做出相应的计划，正如那句sensible（明智的）格言所说——有备无患。但专家建议一定要控制你花在纠结这种最坏打算上的时间，因为这种行为一般会增加我们在等待过程中的焦虑感。
或者，你也可以尝试转移注意力到其他事物上，关注生活中的其他方面或是做一些与你所等待的事物不相关的事情。比如看一部振奋人心的电影或是读一本书（我的微信公众号上有很多我推荐的书籍），也可以练习书法、学习演奏乐器、与朋友出门、运动等等。这些活动可以帮助你回归到健康的心理状态。
朋友，在我们的生命中皆须等待。
就像沃勒在歌中所唱的那样，也许过程艰难，但我们仍然可以带着“勇气与信心”继续前行。当我们没有实现我们的需求时，我们也许会变得焦虑和没有耐心。此时，我们需要认识到反复纠结的危害，准备一个针对最坏情况的解决方案和理智规划，然后将关注重心转移到其他事情上分散注意力，从而不让宝贵的生活与你我悄然错过。
谢谢收看《老桑说》。
给你启发，激励你上进，陪伴你坚持。
敬请期待下一集。
While I’m Waiting
▾
「 Hello, my friend,
I’m John Smagula. 」
1 ·.
Line Up!
Recent news stories about Chinese train stations show massive lines of people waiting to purchase tickets to return home for Chinese New Year. Known as the world’s greatest annual migration of people, nearly 3 billion trips are expected to be made during this holiday period.
If you get a train ticket, you then have to maneuver crowded railway stations and stand in line to get on the train. Some trains also sell standing-only tickets, which means that even if you get a ticket, you’ll have to stand for the duration of your trip. The whole experience is like standing in a line that never ends!
I have stood in these lines many times before, and those passengers around me express their concerns: Will the ticket window close by the time I get there? Will there be any tickets left to my destination? And even if I get a ticket, will there be any room for me to put my belongings once I get on the train?
2 ·.
Waiting.
There can be a lot of anxiety involved in waiting. With respect to train travel, you really have no control over the result. Either that particular ticket window is open or closed when you get there. Either a ticket will be available or not. On the train, there may be room for your stuff or not. If the worst happens, all you can do is deal with the situation as it arises.
There’s another form of waiting where more is at stake, such as school grades, university admissions decisions, medical test results, and job applications. You apply to your top choice college, but don’t get a decision right away. Your doctor notices something unusual about your (or a loved one’s) health and orders a test. You apply for a job and await a possible offer.
3 ·.
Uncertainty.
I think you know the feeling when you are in this uncertain, “in-between” state. Most people feel anxiety, which usually peaks shortly after the event (such as the day after the job interview) and then again as the result is expected (like the day before the college entrance exam results are released). In the middle, there’s a general sense of discomfort, where we often expect the worst.
Psychologists call this rumination, which is the tendency to think repeatedly about the cause of your anxiety and to worry about the outcome.
Our tolerance for uncertainty is related to another characteristic, known as need for closure. This need reflects how much we like to complete tasks, to be done with things. We often become frustrated during these periods of uncertainty because we want closure but have no control over the results.
4 ·.
We can choose, though, how we deal with this uncertainty.
In his song While I’m Waiting, John Waller sings about the difficulties of waiting, but then shares how he deals with it.
“I’m waiting / Though it’s painful / But patiently, I will wait.” He reminds us of the virtue of patience.
Patience is a Virtue
Waller also sings about his attitude during these periods of waiting.
“While I'm waiting / I will not faint / I'll be running the race / Even while I wait.”
In other words, he says that life should not be put on hold during these periods. He urges us to be bold and confident while waiting. Even if you expect the worst, you still hope for the best.
Lao Tzu gives his own guidance on how to deal with waiting, saying “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” When you look at the big picture, there is a plan for everything, and it all works out in due course. All we can do is do our best. Everything will happen as was intended, so there is no sense worrying about it.
If waiting is difficult for you, the first step is to recognize that you may be ruminating about an outcome. Once you have this awareness, you can then help yourself to stop this negative thought process.
You may certainly ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen” and make a plan for this possibility. “Be prepared” is a sensible maxim. But experts recommend limiting the time you spend preparing yourself for the worst, as these behaviors generally increase anxiety during waiting periods.
Rather, find ways to think about other things. Focus on other aspects of your life and do things that are unrelated to what you are waiting for. Watch an uplifting movie or read a book (I have suggested many to you here in my blog). Practice calligraphy or play a musical instrument. Go out with friends. Exercise. These activities can help you return to a healthy state of mind.
My friend, we all have to wait in life. As Waller sings, it can be painful, but we can still move ahead “bold and confident.” When we don’t have closure, we can become anxious and impatient. Recognize how rumination can cause anxiety, consider a sensible plan for the worst-case scenario, and then move on to other things so life doesn’t pass you by.
1.maneuver
a)含义：vt. 调遣；移动；操纵；机动
b)例句：
i.If you get a train ticket, you then have to maneuver crowded railway stations and stand in line to get on the train.
如果你顺利拿到了火车票，那接下来你就得灵活地挤过火车站的人潮并站在队伍中等待候车了。
ii.She maneuvered the car carefully into the garage.
她小心翼翼地将车开进了车库。
c)近义词：manipulate, contrive, manage, move
2.Tolerance
a)含义：n. 忍受；容忍；忍耐力； 公差
b)例句：
i.Our tolerance for uncertainty is related to another characteristic, known as need for closure.
我们对于不确定性的容忍程度与我们自身的一种性格特点有关，即“了结需要”。
ii.There's a danger, I think, that endless tolerance leads to intellectual passivity and the kind of uncritical acceptance of all points of view.
这会是一场危机，无止境的容忍会导致理智的被动,及无批判能力地,接受所有的观点。
c)近义词：forbearance, sufferance
3.Virtue
a)含义：n. 高尚的品德； 美德； 优点； 长处
b)例句：
i.He reminds us of the virtue of patience.
他在此向人们揭示了耐心是一种美德。
ii.The plan has the virtue of the simplicity.
这项计划的优点是简单。
c)近义词：goodness, integrity, benefit, merit
4.Sensible
a)含义：adj. 明智的； 理智的； 朴素而实用的
b)例句：
i.“Be prepared” is a sensible maxim.
正如那句明智的格言所说——有备无患。
ii.It’s sensible of you to keep a note of your passport number.
把你护照号码记下来是明智的。
c)近义词：reasonable, prudent, rational, wise
5.Ruminate
a)含义：vt. 沉思； 认真思考
b)例句：
i.If waiting is difficult for you, the first step is to recognize that you may be ruminating about an outcome.
如果等待对你来说非常艰难，那第一步就是应当认识到你可能常常反复思考其结果。
ii.He set alone, ruminating on the injustice of the world.
他独自坐着，思考着世事的不公。
c)近义词：ponder, consider, cogitate
Thank you for watching me to inspire, encourage, and accompany you.
See you next time.
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